At Least There's a Goal

Devon leaned against the metal railing with an envelope clenched in his hand. He gazed at the traffic below him. The city lights bounced off of the wet roads and advertisements jutted out of the surrounding buildings. The light proved too much for his eyes to handle so he turned his attention to the night sky. With no visible moon and a sky blanketed in clouds, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, enjoying the cool feeling of rain drops pattering against his skin. Exhaling, he says to himself, "well this sucks." After a couple of moments filled with the sounds of traffic and rain, Devon heard the glass sliding door behind him open.

"There you are!"

Devon turned around, nearly dropping the envelope. "Oh, hi Austin."

Austin closed the sliding door and gestured at Devon's hand. "Careful buddy. Don't wanna lose that."

He held up the envelope and inspected it for the third time. "Princeton University. I can't believe it," he thought.

"Why are you out here by yourself?" asked Austin.

Devon shrugged. "I don't know man. Just needed some fresh air. I'm not much of a party person."

Austin joined him at the metal railing. "Yeah well, the party's dying down now. They didn't bring nearly enough alcohol." He pulled out a cigarette from his jacket pocket. "But I guess that's what happens when partying with a bunch of goodie two shoes."

Devon stared intently at the envelope. He opened it and pulled the piece of folded paper out. Unfurling it, he read it over again, caring little about the rain wetting the paper. "Dear Devon, Congratulations! The committee has reviewed your application and we are happy to offer you admission to the class of 2023." He read that line over and over again in his head.

"You good, Devon?"

Devon blinked and shook his head. "Umm, actually... I don't know."

Austin put the cigarette in his lips and lit his lighter. "Talk to me man," he said while lighting the cigarette. "You can tell me anything."

Devon slumped his shoulders and held the letter loosely in his hand. "This whole college thing is stressing me out. I mean, I just spent two years in community college and that was hard enough. And then I get this letter saying Princeton University accepted me."

Austin took a drag and exhaled a plume of smoke. "You sure as hell worked hard the past two years. You deserve the opportunity."

"I know I worked hard. It was the hardest I've ever worked. But I just... I don't know man. Something just feels off."

"Maybe... you're confused about something?"

Devon nodded. "Well I'm definitely confused."

"Do you want to go to Princeton?"

The question hung in the air for a moment as Devon stirred his thoughts. "Why am I hesitating to answer that?"

Austin repositioned himself so he was facing Devon. "You know, when I first started college I wanted to become an auto mechanic."

Devon scoffed. "You? You'd blow the car up."

"Well, I took a mechanic's class in my first semester and I did not blow any cars up. But I did feel sort of lost." He frowned and looked down. "Actually, maybe it was more like... like I was unsure."

"Unsure of what? Auto mechanics?"

"Exactly. I only wanted to do auto mechanics because my dad always wanted me to. I didn't realize that I needed something else."

Devon listened, even as the rain started to become heavier. "That kinda sounds familiar..."

Austin looked up at the sky and scrunched his nose. He threw the cigarette on the floor and stomped on it. "Let's go inside. It's starting to pour."

Devon agreed and followed Austin through the glass sliding door. The music playing through the speakers was a stark contrast to the quieter outside world and the rise in temperature felt almost comforting. He saw a number of his friends playing pong at one table and cup pong at another. Each of them celebrated their own victory. "So, Austin," said Devon. "How'd you find what you wanted to do?"

He chuckled. "I don't know if I'm the right guy to be asking that question to. I sort of just picked something that I actually liked to do. For me, it was playing music. So I made that my goal. But, after a couple of years, and after trying a whole bunch of new things, I wanted different things. Sure, I still enjoyed playing music, but I also started to like acting, gardening, giving speeches, you know?

Devon nodded, his eyes fixated on the letter in his hand. "But are you sure you wanna go to Yale?"

"Well it sucks that I won't be able to see you, but overall yeah. I want to go to Yale."

"How do you know that you want to?"

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked to the side. "Hmm... That's hard to answer."

Devon walked over to a nearby table, placed the letter on the table, and plopped down into a chair. "I can't be second guessing myself now." He buried his head in his hands. "I've come so far."

Austin sat in the seat across from him. "Listen man. You have come far. You've accomplished a whole lot the past two years and met a lot of cool people. You gotta give yourself credit for that."

Devon lazily dragged his palm across his face to look at Austin. "Thank you. But I'm still screwed."

"I mean, yeah," he chuckled. "Going to Princeton is a big deal. It's one hell of a mountain to climb."

"But do I wanna climb it?"

Austin shrugged. "It'll be one hell of an adventure."

Devon smiled slightly. "I do like adventures."

"And it's also bound to open tons of new opportunities. So even if you run on into Princeton without some sort of goal, there's so much to explore that you're bound to run into something you like."

"Well I thought I liked science."

"You might still like science. But maybe you found something else you really like?"

Devon immediately had an answer to that question. "I like history. And I like archeology type of stuff."

Austin's eyebrows shot up. "Aha! How about you try that?"

"You think that's the right way for me to go?"

"I don't know. It's a way."

Devin frowned. "It's a way?"

"Yeah! You know..." he moved his hands around, no doubt thinking of what to say. "At least you're following something. You have no idea how many people wander around life with absolutely no goal. No motivation."

"Ok, and if it's the wrong path?"

"Then it's the wrong path. At least you aimed for something. And just like how I said Princeton can open up opportunities, so to can having a goal. Even if it's the wrong path for you, that journey will probably unearth a whole lot of new stuff."

Devon's eyebrows furrowed. "I never thought of it that way," he thought.

"You started community college for science, right?" Said Austin "Because your parents wanted you to become a scientist?"

Devon nodded.

"And you found history and archeology along the way. Which is totally for old people."

Devon scoffed. "Oh please, you said you like gardening."

He raised his chin. "And I'm proud of it."

Devon looked around and noticed people saying farewells. "I guess the party's over."

"Looks like it."

Devon stood up and stretched his arms and legs. "Thanks for the conversation. It really helped."

Austin came over to him and patted him on the back. "No problem buddy."

After saying their farewells, Devon exited the room and proceeded downstairs. When he exited the building, he waited by the street and called a taxi. He then noticed that the rain had stopped and the sky was beginning to clear, making way for the moon to peek out.