A Bite I Never Wish to Forget

Submitted into Contest #104 in response to: Start your story with a character saying, “Are you coming tonight?”... view prompt

2 comments

Fantasy Romance Suspense

The blue moonlight bathed my whole red bedroom. The air felt odd tonight as if something was going to happen tonight. Nervously, my fingers twisted my long dark brown hair into a side braid. My silk black night gown with bell sleeves splayed all around me. Why can't a vampire come save me from this dull life?

My black phone dinged, vibrating my cherry wood desk. I just wanted to lay on my warm red fluffy cocoon of a bed. The text message read "Are you coming?" A pebble popped against my old bedroom window. A bad feeling washed over me as I went over to the window. The window stuck not allowing me to open it. Finally it flew open, knocking me on my ass. Groaning, my arms pushed me back to my feet. A look of annoyance flashed when a pebble smacked me in the middle of my forehead.

"Who is throwing pebbles at my window?" I inquired, rubbing my forehead. "I don't live with my parents." A tall man about my age emerged from the shadows of the nearby forest. He had on a tall top hat and striped red and black suit. His dark brown eyes buzzed with excitement as he ran his hair through his long wavy brown hair. My phone dinged again asking are you coming. The unknown number flashing back at me made my heart get stuck in my throat.

"Well, are you coming?" The man soft voice called joyously. "I am here to take you on an adventure. I am Raoul. After all isn't this what you want." He bowed and grinned crookedly. My brown eyes darted back from him and my phone. With a snap of his finger, I was standing next to him. My fists clenched tightly as my face grew red with anger.

"My answer is no." I retorted coolly. "Let me go home." Laughing to himself, he pulled into his arms. My heart nearly beat out of my chest as he looked down into my eyes.

"Your mind says no, but your heart says yes." He teased spinning me around. "I am asking you to play my game." Stomping his feet twice, we were now in an abandoned carnival. Sad torn tents laid decaying around as a large black tent loomed in front of me. The soil felt cold against my bare feet. A pair of giant black spiders nearly made me faint as they crawled right next to us.

"A new guest Raoul?" The spider closest to me cooed. "Be a gentleman." They scurried into the thick fog that blanketed the world around us. Waving to them, he turned to me and smiled widely, revealing fangs. My eyes widened with fear and wonder as he hissed in my ear.

"Hide from me all night long and you get to go home to your dull life." He explained with a flirty grin. "Lose and you will become my vampire bride. I am going to give you a two hour start." My face twisted with fury and annoyance as he disappeared. Sighing, I ran into the tent into a large maze.

"Fuck!" I screamed into the still air. A sense of direction was not my strong suit. Hell I once got lost just trying to find my kitchen. Green shrubs teased me as two hours flew by. Every time I left a trail for me to follow back it would disappear in a puff of smoke.

"Ready or not, here I come." He called out playfully. Quietly I climbed into the inside of as shrub as he ran by me. The tiny thorns stuck in my arm causing blood to slowly drip out. The black material was shredded nearly revealing my hourglass figure. His foot steps approached my spot when an old wooden appeared behind me. The creak echoed revealing where I was. In a rush, my feet ran me into a stone tunnel. Skulls greeted me on each side of my frowning face. Two dark tunnels taunted me. Terror and sadness ran through my tired body as my mind raced. This game is just awful and irksome. His laugh rang behind me as the left tunnel looked like the way for me to go. Shakily, my feet felt the damp ground looking for holes or potential danger. Cold sweat dripped down my forehead as I slid down a sudden drop into a cold pair of arms. Red eyes glowed as a familiar grin made my body shiver with fear, and desire. I never wanted or expected to never want to leave his comforting arms.

"You lasted longer than I expected." He mused while snapping his fingers. "You can still go home, if you wish, my dear Celestia." Surprise filled my face when I was back in my bedroom. It seemed dull and unnatural now. Raoul's red eyes had black tears flowing from them when he set me back down. My heart and body ached for him. He was human after all.

"Sure." I mumbled as my face flushed scarlet. "I will be your bride. My family is dead, and I have no friends." A childish smile lit up his face, making my heart nearly beat out of my chest.

"I knew you were the one!" He shouted, picking me up and spinning me around. "Are you sure you want to be my bride?" A look of deep concern flashed across his face.

"I am absolutely positive." I promised wrapping my arms around his neck. "Bite me." His fangs traced my neck as my heart beat faster. A sense of pleasure invaded my body as his teeth sank into my neck. A sucking sound pierced my ears until he stopped. A pain sprang into my chest making my heartbeat fade away into nothing. My muscles tensed causing me to collapse into his arms. Oddly enough the room didn't spin, nor did I lose consciousness.

"I promise to love you for the rest of our eternal lives." He announced, holding me closer to him. "Your fangs are so adorable." My hand touched his pale cheek as he touched my fangs.

"Raoul I-" I started to say. His lips pressed against mine drawing a bit of black blood. He pulled away, looking into my eyes. Before he could speak, I kissed him back with a burning passion. Time stopped around us as the room faded to outside the black tent. What once was fear now was joy.

"Do you want to play a game?" He asked with a crooked grin. A large smile danced across my face as I ran into the black tent.

July 26, 2021 20:45

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2 comments

Sharon Williams
05:50 Aug 05, 2021

Hello Brittany. Critique Circle here. I enjoyed your story and particularly liked the twist at the end. It was clever to fuse the contemporary (mobile 'phones) with more traditional vampire ideas. Using the sound of the vampire sucking blood was well executed and realistic enough to make me feel a bit nauseous! I think that there may have been one small typo: 'when an old wooden appeared behind me'. Wooden what, please? Anyway, hope this helps and good luck.

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Yvette Francaise
18:46 Aug 05, 2021

Sorry about the typo. It was door. Apparently my brain was going faster than my fingers.

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