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Funny Friendship Fiction

Bill was not my favorite neighbor. As far as I could tell, he liked to trim his bushes in his front yard like a ballerina performing Swan Lake. A whole show for the neighbors you could say. I did not trust his smile while waving towards the audience passing him by. Something in the grin and teeth while stretching across his face did not appear to match his eyes.

Watching him pull his hose out of the entanglement, I stood by my window with my coffee in hand. Funny we've never had many conversations, just strewn across dialogue throughout the years. Linda next door told me he used to be married, supposedly he cheated on her with a co-worker, but that happened years ago.

"I believe it, just look at how he maintains that yard of his," I continued to Linda, "it's a meticulous yard that is nothing but a front for all his guilt." She laughed at this, but commented, "he does though have one of the best yards in the neighborhood, even if it is a front."

I brought my empty mug to the sink, washing it out then putting it on the rack. See I have always had a keen awareness for things, and I can read people like a book. Like a book! Which reminds me, I need to check the mail to see if the latest novel from Stephen King has come in my mailbox.

I hurriedly got ready and walking down my driveway I saw Bill walking my way. My brain immediately sent circuits of flight or flight through my bones. "Hey Julie! Nice morning to check the mail!"

"Good morning Bill," I said, holding my hands in my pockets.

"I think I know why you’re out so early by the mailbox, expecting a nice package?"

How would he know something like that? "What do you mean Bill?"

"Oh well, I think the mailman made a little mistake. Here, I have your package inside if you want to come over for a minute."

Coming over for a minute sounded like a lifetime I was not willing to give up. "Hmm, mistakes happen! But I've got some things to attend to if you don't mind dropping it off on my porch eventually, whenever you get the chance."

"Oh, it won't take long Julie, I promise. Besides, I want to show you the new plants I potted in the front."

My legs were heavy, and I feared my facial expressions might give my irritations away. Pull it together Julie, be polite. "Sounds fine Bill, as long as it won't take long."

The black strip of asphalt was the only thing between Bill and my world. It felt like crossing over to enemy territory. Linda I'm sure will be asking me about this if she's looking through her window right now. On his porch were little potted plants of poppies of all different colors. He pointed to them with a smile. Very idyllic, I'm sure. He opened the door, "Come right in."

Surprised by how neat and everything was put around the house I carefully moved through the entryway and stood in front of a large bookshelf by the stairs. My eyes widened to see the shelves filled with books by Stephen King and other thriller novels. "You've got quite a collection Bill."

Bill moved from the kitchen to the entryway. "Are you a Stephen King fan?"

"Yes, actually I am." He had in his hand a thick package, larger than I anticipated.

"I had trouble getting his latest novel, sold out everywhere I'm afraid." I took the package out of his hands.

"You won't believe this, but the package should have that book," I tried to say with some humility.

"Do you mind if I just see the cover? If you don't have the time to open it now, I understand."

I was too excited myself to say no, "Of course I have no problem opening it now."

Bill handed me a pair of scissors and I cut open the cardboard. "Oh, will you look at that, he comes up with such interesting ideas, y'know this one I heard..." I interrupted him, "I did not order two of this, it must be a mistake."

I went through all the possibilities on how I got two copies. I know I was only charged for one and the shipping. “Hmmm well if you’re positive you only paid for one then I guess you’ll need to find a home for the other one.” 

The subtext did not need to be even spelled out. I mean what am I going to do with it? I could send it back, they might be wondering where the other copy is. Maybe it was supposed to go to someone else and now they don’t have it but I received it by accident. I looked up at Bill again, he was not smiling but just glancing at the book with adoration. I realized at that moment I could have a person to read this book with, Linda did not care much for horror or thriller novels anyway.

“Bill, if you want to take it off my hands you can have it.” 

His eyebrow lifted up, followed by the rest of his head. “Well, that is very nice of you Julie, only if you know for a fact you didn’t pay for it, I will gladly take it off your hands.” 

Everyday in the morning as Bill was out in his front yard I’d pop over and check in on how the book was coming for him. I realized I was looking at Bill all wrong. I misjudged him and could see now that we had more in common than I originally thought. “Sorry Julie, I haven't gotten that far yet in the book.” 

“Oh but you have to! This is the chapter that we finally get the background on all their childhoods,” I implored Bill. He continued to tear out the weeds at the wisp of his gloves. “I know I’ll get to it eventually,” he sighed.

Eventually, Bill came out less and less in his front yard in the mornings. I hope he hasn’t become ill or maybe he’s grown tired of constantly maintaining that yard of his. My concern grew to worry and decided one morning I’d knock on his door. 

“Bill! I wanted to check and see how you are doing? Haven’t seen you in the mornings lately out front,” I tried to keep the concern at a soft level in case he was sleeping. 

“I’m fine Julie, thanks for checking in! Have a good day, it’s beautiful outside.” 

“Oh I also wanted to see how far you’ve gotten in the book? I know you’ve been a little bit behind me but I’d love to talk about the latest chapter when you’ve got the chance.”

“Alright Julie, I’ll let you know when I’ve caught up, have a good day now.” Bill’s voice sounded low. 

I stood on that porch and wondered what had gotten into him. Maybe he’s been thinking about his ex-wife and has had some regrets lately. Maybe he didn’t like King’s new book as much as I have and is too afraid to hurt my feelings. Whatever the reason I’m going to talk to Linda and see if we can get to the bottom of this. 

April 14, 2023 04:09

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8 comments

Amy Bush
16:45 Apr 22, 2023

Great story Natalie! I love how you managed to flip everything on its head. At first we think Bill is odd and Julie wants to avoid him, but by the end it becomes clear she's the neighbor to avoid! I also like how you made her a Stephen King fan and also very suspicious that Bill is hiding something behind his supposedly perfect suburban life. The thriller ambiance is great and makes the twist funnier. If I were going to give any constructive feedback, it'd be to try reading the dialogue out loud as it sounded a bit unnatural at times. You co...

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Natalie Parker
00:49 Apr 23, 2023

Thank you Amy for taking the time to read my story! Yes, I completely agree and appreciate your feedback on the dialogue and note on Linda throughout the piece. Linda was a character that I really did not see any point to expand on for fear of going beyond the word limit, but I can see how she should be more present in the story to create an overall better understanding of the relationships.

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Mary Bendickson
21:24 Apr 20, 2023

What part of 'I'm not reading the book' didn't she understand? Kept expecting her to find his back yard a shambles so was surprised he just wasn't into her. Welcome to Reedsy

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Natalie Parker
00:51 Apr 23, 2023

Very True Mary! Thanks for reading my little story!

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Wally Schmidt
23:13 Apr 16, 2023

Natalie welcome to Reedsy! I hope you will submit lots of stories like this one. When I was reading the story, I felt like maybe it was Bill's neighbor who was the odd neighbor, so fixated on Bill and everything about him. By the end of the story, I was left uncertain. Bill clearly was not as enthousiastic as about SK but I couldn't get any concrete clues about his supposed transgressions. Was that part of the mystery?

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Natalie Parker
23:51 Apr 16, 2023

Thanks Wally for taking the time to read it! And I appreciate your question. No you were exactly right. Julie was the odd neighbor in this story - I think we all know someone who gets fixated on what everyone else is doing instead of worrying about themselves. In Julie's case she didn't see anything in common with Bill - initially, and already had her mind made up she didn't like him but was fixated on her feelings towards him - maybe it was the rumor she heard or just because she didn't trust his smile that started it all, but the fixatio...

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Delbert Griffith
12:31 Apr 16, 2023

What I really liked about your story was how you used physical setting to convey Bill's personality. The well-kempt front yard being a façade that hid his guilt over having an affair. The clean house and a bookcase full of Stephen King books, hinting at a literate mind. That was very clever of you. The only jarring bit was how easily taken in Julie was. She didn't see that Bill didn't want to talk about the new SK book because he wasn't reading it. For a woman who "always had a keen awareness for things, and I can read people like a book. L...

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Natalie Parker
23:20 Apr 16, 2023

Thank you Delbert for reading my little story! Means a lot since it's my first time writing on Reedsy! Yes exactly! I wrote Julie to be that stereotypical neighbor whose curiosity gets the best of her and at the end of the day wants nothing more than companionship really. In her mind, she thinks she knows people, who they are, why they do the things they do, but in reality, just sees what she wants to see so is easily taken in. All my best!

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