Dear Journal

June 9th 2022

2:44 pm

Graduation is only a couple of days away, and after that? EUROPEEE BABY!! I haven't started packing yet, hell, I haven't even started shopping yet, but isn't that all part of the experience? Last minute packing, getting to the airport with the feeling that you're forgetting something, but shaking it off as jitters, getting on the plane, closing your eyes just to immediately remember you forgot that super expensive camera you bought for pictures. (Which reminds me to pack said camera)

I originally had a couple of different spots I wanted to hit in Rome, but I had to shorten the list, seeing as I was only able to convince my parents to let me go for three days tops. God, they can be so paranoid and annoying. I'm still shocked they let me go in the first place; regardless, I have been on my utmost behavior since. Dishes need to be washed? On it, the floor needs to be swept, consider it done, the shirt I’m wearing is too “Slutty and makes me look like a hooker” god, what was I thinking, tossed. I can't have them changing their mind at the last minute and preventing me from going. (That would be the literal death of me) Anyways, that being said, they have most certainly picked up on this strategy of mine and have been working me like a dog. Anything for Rome, I guess.

Riley signing off, til’ next time. <3

June 21st 2022

6:02 pm

I know I’m supposed to be journaling once a week, but cut me some slack, I GRADUATEDDD!! And more importantly, I got into YALE, AND Rome is 4 days away!! Literally, what is life right now? I will admit I was kind of shocked that Andy Byers graduated. He was late to school almost as many times as his girlfriend, Justine, was late with her period. Speaking of, I swore I saw her kissing Andy Maron the other day. No, wait, I’m getting off track. This isn’t about slutty Justine, it’s about my ANNOYING mother.

I went shopping with her yesterday, which was the worst thing EVER, since I have to be on my best behavior, I had to agree to all the stuff she picked out for me. Ready or not, Rome here I come, dressed like a fucking Catholic mother of four. (Can I use Catholic and fucking in the same sentence?) It’s okay, I was able to send money to Debbie, who bought me a better selection of clothing after two vigorous hours on video call while she was out shopping, and I was at home dusting. (Yeah, Mum and Dad are still bugging out, I think they’re running out of chores for me to do because, dusting?, Really? Give me a break.)

Riley signing off, til’ next time. <3

June 26th 2022

8:38 pm

HIIII day two of Rome and it’s so fucking pretty, what if I stay here forever?? We’re staying at a hotel not too far from the city. Clarke and I are in one room, Debbie and her boyfriend, Theo, in another. The rooms are huge and the ceilings are so high. Ugh, I just want to stay here forever. We went to see some attractions yesterday and stayed out super late. Fortunately it didn't stop us from getting up early today, all our days are severely packed from the minute we wake up. Three days in Rome might as well be three hours.

Ok, got to go, they're rushing me to get ready for this bonfire that some locals invited us to on the outskirts of town. What do you even wear to a bonfire?

Riley signing off, til’ next time. <3

(p.s. I forgot my fucking camera.)

July 2nd 2022

5:23 pm

She’s gone. Debbie is gone. They suspect it was an intruder who broke in. But they don’t know what we do. They don’t know about the game we played. Crime scene photos were leaked, Debbie’s eyes were carved out, her teeth were shattered, and her fingers were all broken. Her body was covered in bruises and scratches. We should have never gone to that bonfire, we should have never played that stupid fucking game in Rome, but fucking Theo wouldn’t listen and kept fucking insisting, and now I lost my best friend, it doesn’t feel real. I keep looking at my phone, waiting for her to call me and tell me it was a horrible, messed up prank.

We can’t sleep without feeling it, we wake up with bruises, and hear whispers coming from under our beds. We can’t eat or sleep. Whenever we do manage to get some sleep it’s filled with nightmares of it telling us that we’re going to die. As I’m writing this, I feel its presence lingering. It doesn't feel alive. It feels angry. I just want it to go away. Please go away.

Riley signing off, until next time.

July 8th 2022

3:32 pm

Theo was next. He was found the same way Debbie was, with bruises, scratches, broken fingers, the only difference was that his eyes weren't missing, his ears were. Mum and Dad have me on lockdown, they think it isn’t safe to go out because of the crazed killer. It’s getting stronger. Last night, during dinner, Mum and Dad suddenly froze and turned their heads to face me, blank facial expressions as they chanted “you’re going to die”. They went on like that for ten minutes before they both snapped out of it and continued like nothing had happened. They don’t know that the “crazed killer” is already inside.

Riley signing off, until next time.

July 14th

1:46 pm

Clarke was reported missing today. It’s just me now. I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. I tried talking to Mum and Dad about it again, but I could tell they thought I was going insane and said I was looking for a way to rationalize what was going on.

Tonight, while I was fishing for my pjs in the closet, a set of arms lunged at me, sinking its sharp claws into my arms. I felt as they penetrated my skin, a pool of blood at my feet. I tried seeing its face, but I was met with pitch black darkness from inside the closet and a hoarse voice that chanted, “You are going to die”. I was then suddenly thrown back into my bookcase, where books, medals, and broken bookshelves littered my frail body on the ground. Just when I thought it was over, something tugged at my legs, pulling me towards the closet, towards the darkness. I scrambled, trying to fight off the invisible force, but nothing worked. I grasped at my chair, my lamp, but everything just collapsed to the ground as the grip got tighter and stronger. The closer I got to the closet, the warmer my room felt. The floor started to get hotter and hotter, and the skin on my legs began to get burnt off, peeling and sticking to the wooden floors. The smell of burnt skin and something decaying and rotten started filling my room.

Just when I was inches away from the closet entrance, my bedroom door slammed open. Mum and Dad looked at me frantically. They stayed with me until I fell asleep, they assumed I had just gotten an anxiety attack. Couldn’t blame them after all, everything in my room was intact, and my wounds were magically healed, all they saw was their crazy daughter on the floor, sobbing and yelling hysterically. Whatever it is, it likes to play with us, it makes us feel isolated and crazy. I don’t think I can do this much longer, soon, I don't think I’ll have to.

Riley signing off, until next time.

July 20th

2:56 am

Clarke is still missing. I know now that she isn’t really missing, seeing as her dead body is watching me write this from the foot of my bed. All of them are. Debbie is staring at me through the empty sockets on her face, dried blood smeared around her lips that cover the rows of shattered teeth in her mouth. Next to her is Theo, with blood trickling down the sides of his face from where his ears had been ripped off, and finally Clarke, whose head has been turned almost entirely. A chunk of her cheek seems to have been bitten off, her hair matted and covered with leaves. They each have a hand extended out towards me, revealing something sick in each of their palms. Debbie was holding out her pair of eyes, Theo was holding out his pair of ears, and Clarke held out her severed tongue. I think it’s my turn to join them. I’m scared, I don’t want to leave Mum and Dad. I don’t want them to feel guilty for threatening to put me in a ward after I told them what was going on. I don’t want to die.

We should never have played that game.

They’re chanting now, but it’s different this time. They're not chanting that I'm going to die. They're chanting that it’s time.

Riley Signing off.