A love hate relationship with the alarm

Theodore lays his head down on the pillow, already feeling drowsy from a long night of work.

As he shifts his body around the bed, turning from the daylight breaking through the windows, he can hear his roommates shuffling about as they leave the house.

Quiet settles in around Theodore, feeling like days are passing as he rests.

The sudden blare of the security alarm rings through the house, jolting Theodore from his bed, adrenaline pumping through his body. He grabs the wooden bat he keeps next to his bedroom door as he charges out into the hallway. The hall is clear as he moves towards the front room, where he can here digital beeps as someone is punching numbers into the alarm panel.

Bursting from the hallway, Theodore holds the bat, cocked back behind him as he's prepared to swing with all his might. His muscles activate, flexing hard as he swings the bat in front of him, only to feel them burn as he breaks the force of the swing, stopping the bat in mid strike.

Derek stands next to the alarm pad, staring wide eyed at Theodore, who very nearly smashed his head in with the bat that is hovering just inches from Derek's head. "Sorry dude, I forgot the code again."

Theodore lowers the bat, pushing himself between Derek and the alarm pad as he inputs the six digit code to turn off the blaring alarm. "Damn I'm starting to hate this thing."

Derek reaches down, feeling his pants, and finally heaving a sigh of relief when he finds them all dry. "You scared the piss out of me dude."

"Obviously not. What happened? I thought you weren't coming home after work today? Weren't you going to spend it with some girl?"

"'Was' is the operative word there my man. Lyra had to cancel on me." Derek motions for Theodore to follow him to the kitchen. "Her loss could be your gain dude. I have all these tasty treats I 'salvaged' from the restaurant." Derek begins unpacking a large bag of food.

"Derek, there must be at least four hundred dollars worth of food here. How did you get away with it?"

Derek laughs, "Well my man first off, this here is exactly eight hundred, fifty-two dollars, and sixty-eight cents worth of food. Secondly, I paid for it. Well, most of it." Derek picks up a container of mixed seafood. "I literally just took these when the guy who ordered them said he was disgusted by them."

Theodore gives Derek a skeptical look. "Dumpster diving?"

"If need be, but not this time. I caught them straight off the plate. So, here's the question dude. You ready to grub?"

Theodore rubs his stomach. "Where do we start?"

"My man!"

The two friends begin feasting on the miniature buffet. To Theodore's surprise, everything is far more fresh than he had given his friend credit for. Everything was of exquisite taste, from the pork short ribs, to the crab and lobster boil. Theodore avoided the vegetables though, because even as a grown man, who regularly exercised, and treat his body as a temple, he just hated the taste of vegetables.

Through a mouth full of baked potatoes, Derek asks, "Dude, how are you going to have that fit body, and not like vegetables? These aren't even regular vegetables either, these are seasoned with all kinds of good stuff. Come on man, try it. Do it for Lyra?" Derek laughs at his own joke.

"Fine, fine. If this don't taste orgasmic, I'm gonna finish that swing with that bat." Both friends laugh as Theodore stabs at the vegetables, spearing a piece of cauliflower and carrot. As he stuffs the bite into his mouth his tongue tingles with the life of the flavor.

"So? What do you think?"

Theodore looks down at his pants, checking them in the same way Derek had earlier. "They are definitely good. I just had to make sure they didn't actually give me an orgasm." The two friends continue to laugh as they finish off the humongous meal.

"Oh! I'm stuffed!" Derek rubs his belly lovingly, keeping a huge smile on his face. "I'd hate to be you right now though. Don't you have to go to work tonight?"

Theodore groans as he stands up. "Nope. I've got tonight off, as well as tomorrow night. All I'm gonna do is rest, relax, maybe eat again, but right now I don't think I'll be eating for a couple days."

"So that's it? You gonna head back to bed now?"

"Not everyone has the same crackhead energy as you do. I'm exhausted after last night. I had to throw nine guys out of the club. Two of them actually knew how to fight. So, to answer your question, yes, I am going back to sleep. What are you going to do?"

Derek screws his mouth to one side. Suddenly his face lights up. "I'm going to do something I have done in almost a year."

"What? I thought Lyra cancelled on you. You have a side chick or something?"

"Not that asshole. I'm gonna go surfing! Yeah, I just need to pull my board out from the garage."

"Okay, you go ahead and do that. Let me know when you're leaving so I can arm the alarm again."

Derek rushes off to the garage, making loud noises and sweating a lot. Theodore ignores his friends ceaseless racket as he brushes his teeth, preparing himself once again for bed. By the time Derek is leaving with his surfboard in tow, the morning has already passed. 

Theodore sets the alarm as he calculates how much sleep he can get before his other roommates return home. He figures that he can get at least five hours of quiet, uninterrupted sleep just before he lays his head to the pillow again.

Once more the timeless feeling of sleep engulfs Theodore. Even in his sleep he can feel his bodies muscles relaxing, their tension easing away.

An alien sound interrupts Theodore's dreaming, bringing him back to the waking world softly. As he gazes around his room, he sees his clocke reading one forty-five. "Almost two hours. That's the longest I've slept in months."

Theodore's musings are cut short as the alarm begins sounding again. Theodore sighs as he climbs from bed, no urgency in his movements this time. He calls down the hall as he approaches the front room, moving to turn off the alarm quickly, before he realizes there are several men in his living room, all of them wearing masks. "Shit!"

Theodore makes to grab the bat he left earlier, but one of the men charges him, his large bulk slamming Theodore into the wall. Theodore is a big man though, and his job as a bouncer tests his mettle almost nightly, so he recovers quickly, slamming his fist into the first man's gut, doubling him over.

Before the other masked men, three more in total, can reach Theodore, he has his bat in his hands.

"You all better get the hell out of my home!" Theodore slams the bat into the back of the man who attacked him. "Or else the police are gonna be carrying you fools out of here." 

The three men look at each other before one turns back to face Theodore. "Even with your bat, you think you can handle all of us?" The other two begin circling around Theodore, standing opposite each other on his sides.

Theodore brandishes the bat in his hands as though it's a sword, wielded by a mighty samurai. He flexes the muscles in his forearms and hands, fighting his fingers collective grip on the bat. "Come find out."

The two men on either side of Theodore rush in at him. Theodore turns to face one of the men, stepping over his first attacker as he swings the bat at a low angle, smashing his new assailants knee. The man cries out as he falls on top of his comrade.

From behind Theodore, his third attacker grabs hold of Theodore by the waist, trying to turn and throw him to the ground. Theodore chokes up his grip on the bat before rapping it against the man's head, forcing him to loosen his hold on Theodore's waist.

Theodore turns, combining that momentum with the force of swing his arms he bring a the bat up, connecting with the third man's chest, before it slides up to smash into his chin, knocking the man out cold.

Theodore turns to face the speaker among his foes, but the man is gone, leaving Theodore's from door swinging from his escape.

Theodore grabs his house phone, calling the local police department. The call is quick, as they assure Theodore that officers will arrive shortly.

Theodore looks over the three men he hurt, removing their masks one by one. "Nope, nobody I know."

A car door slams shut outside, drawing Theodore's attention as Bryce and Jimmy step through the still open door. Bryce looks at the men on the ground, then up at Theodore. "What happened here?"

Theodore slightly chuckles. "Let's just say, I'm glad we have our alarm."