Devil Comes Home

Submitted into Contest #164 in response to: Write a story in which someone returns to their hometown.... view prompt

4 comments

LGBTQ+ Fantasy

This story contains sensitive content

TW: Mentions of past substance abuse

Horrus can’t help along, shaky sigh from escaping their throat as they approach the gates of Vo’Lanyr. Its walls block out the horizon and the city’s central spire seems to be as tall as the surrounding mountains

“You looking forward to being back?” Horrus’ companion, Lor’Hai, a tall, lean woman with dark red skin asks. She wears a constant smirk and her outfit does little to conceal the physique she has spent a lifetime perfecting.

“Can’t say that I am, this place doesn't exactly hold happy memories,” 

“So I’ve heard, but surely there’s something here that you remember fondly. I hated the monastery but the sparring room was my own little haven.” Hai says, eyes looking both curious and sympathetic. That’s something Horrus loved about Lor’Hai, she was easy to read.

“Sure there’s the occasional bar that I enjoyed and some inns that weren't totally infested with rat shit,” Horrus says, shooting a grin at their companion.

“I’m up for a tavern crawl, it’s been too long since I’ve had some good booze.” Hai’s voice carries a hint of wistfulness as she gives Horrus a slight nudge.

“Varly’s been keeping a tight lock on that, huh.” Horrus chuckles. 

“She’s being all like, ‘I can’t have you drunkenly wandering into some fight again,” Horrus can’t help but laugh at the poor impression of their sister, “Shut up,” Hai pouts. Despite the banter, Horrus sees some discomfort on Hai’s face.

“Look, take this from me, she’s only doing this because she cares.” Horrus puts a hand on Hai’s shoulder, “I know she can be a tad overbearing, but it’s because she loves you. And hey, if it’s really a problem just tell her, she’ll probably loosen up a bit.” When Horrus says love the dark red skin of Hai’s cheeks manages to grow a shade darker and her eyes seem to light up. 

“I know, but she does have a point, I do have a tendency of getting into some stupid fights.” Hai sighs.

“Are you sure that’s the alcohol?”

“Oh hush,” Hai gives Horrus a quick elbow to the ribs, prompting another laugh. “I just wish that I could find a way to give back.” Hai’s brow lowers slightly and her gaze drifts to the ground.

Horrus leans in a bit closer and says, “Darling, trust me when I say you don’t need to. I’ve seen the way she acts around you, you being there for her is more than enough.”

"I know, but I still wanna treat her, you know?"

"Look I'm not good at this whole, relationship business," Hai's shoulders slump slightly, "However I do like spending money on expensive shit."

"Does this mean what I think it means?" 

"Yes, it does."

Horrus only just manages to move their hand before Hai jumps yelling "Horrus shopping trip! Let's go!" 

“Okay calm down, it’s not that exciting.” Horrus chuckles, but it’s drowned out by Hai’s excited shouting.

Horrus loathed being back in the far too familiar streets of Vo’Lanyer, as one either has to deal with the stench of shit or be surrounded by an overwhelming amount of arrogance. The one thing that made the trip tolerable was the excited look on Hai’s face. Her eyes were wide and her grin was ear to ear as she walked through the city. Horrus couldn’t help but chuckle as memories of their little sister Varly played in their mind. How excited she was at every shop and street performer.

“So what did you wanna get Varly?” Horrus asks, butting a hand and Hai’s shoulder.

“I don’t know, there's so many options,” Hai says, their eyes darting to the signs that line the street.

“Well I’d recommend some books, I think she’s getting bored of reading the same collection for the fourth time.”

“That’s a great idea… Where could we get those." Hai looks down a Horrus with wide eyes. 

Horrus chuckles for a moment, "Follow me." 

Once Horrus reacclimated themselves to the more well-off part of Vo’Lanyer it was fairly easy to find a bookstore. It was a quaint little storefront with a plain-looking sign reading A Good Word. Horrus practically pulls Hai into the building and says, “Welp, have fun,” before turning for the door.

“I don’t even know what to look for!” Hai says in a loud whisper.

Horrus sighs, “Don’t tell her that I told you this, but she has a soft spot for sappy romance stories.”

Hai’s eyes light up again, “Oh that's so cute.” 

“Alright, good hunting,” Horrus opens the door and looks over their shoulder, “I’m gonna go make some money, I won't be far,” they say as they walk out the door.

The sun had gone from high noon to slipping behind the city walls before Hai walked out of the shop. Horrus had spent that time playing music and doing some simple magic tricks to collect some coin. Hai seems to have been busy buying half the store as they walk out carrying a large stack of books.

“By Luma, how much did you spend!” Horrus shouts, trying their best to not be angry at the sheer amount of coin they had likely just lost.

“Only a hundred!” Hai yells excitedly, “I was gonna be a hundred fifty but I told them I was getting for the love of my life and that seemed to warm their hearts a bit.”

Horrus just sighs and puts their head in their palm. 

“Could you do that magic thing for me quick? These are getting a bit heavy.”

“Yeah, yeah. One second,” Horrus grumbles as they grab a small box of cards that sits on their side and empties them into their hand. They take a moment to shuffle them before fanning them out in one hand. As the cards move they seem to emanate a crackling arcane energy. Horrus takes a deep breath before pulling out a random card. The card is lightly glowing purple as it is trapped between Horrus’ middle finger and thumb. They flick the card with their index finger and with a burst of purple light a portal appears in front of it,

“Put the damn books in,” Horrus says as they put the cards back in the box they came from and securing it on their hip once more.

“Was it a bit much?” Hai asks, their face looked full of regret. 

Horrus sighs, “It was a cute gesture and she’s gonna love it, however, don’t make a habit of spending a hundred gold without consulting someone.”

Hai’s face lights up again, “Understood, what’s next.”

“Well we have the night to ourselves, so I’m thinking I could show you around some of my old haunts.” 

Hai gasps, “Horrus tavern craw!”

“No, we have business tomorrow. Plus your girlfriend would murder me.”

Hai looks at Horrus with an exaggerated pout.

“Oh quit whining, we’re still going to a bar.”

“Let's go!” Hai yells as Horrus starts dragging them into the side streets.

The sun had fully set by the time Horrus had finished guiding Hai through the winding sidestreets to a far less well part of town. People were lining the buildings wearing tattered clothes and trying to find any warmth they could. 

“Wellcome to the hollows.” Horrus whispers to Hai. During their trip, they had pulled the hood of their cloak over their head as their horns and pale red skin aren’t exactly inconspicuous.

“I expected more… I don’t know, more of a Horrus vibe.” Hai whispers back, their expression wasn’t carrying the hint of pity that Horrus was expecting, she looked genuinely empathetic. Horrus tucked that detail away for later.

“Yeah well, not everyone is as lucky as me.” Horrus laments.

“Yeah, I understand.”

Horrus then pulled Hai into a building with a sign above it that read, The Devil's call. Inside was a surprising amount of infernals, all in various states of drunkenness with some passed out in their booths and others engaged in quite a conversation. For a bar, it was oddly calm.

“Bart, you old bastard you’re still kicking!” Horrus yells to an older infernal, with skin the color of sulfur and eyes as dark as the void. They walk up to the bar and take a seat across from the older man.

“Look who came crawling back. Got bored of your adventuring, did you?” Bart says, their face contorting into a look of disdain.

“What can I say, sometimes a devil gets homesick. Besides I couldn’t not give some coin to an old friend.” Horrus says, flashing a gold piece they had hidden in their sleeve.

Bart studies the coin for a moment before his facelifts and he starts hurriedly grabbing bottles, beginning work on a cocktail, “I guess I can’t stay mad at that.”

“How's things been going since I’ve been gone?” Horrus asks.

“Pretty well… I see you picked up a friend along the way, that’s nothing short of a miracle,” Bart says as he puts a bright red cocktail in front of Horrus, and gestures to Hai who has taken a seat next to them.

“Ha ha, very funny. I’ll have you know people only like you because you pour their drinks.” Horrus quips as they take a drink of their freshly made cocktail.

“Are you sure it’s not my endless charm?”

Horrus gives him a deadpan look, “Yes."

“Aren’t you gonna introduce me to this new friend of yours?”

“Oh yes, this is Lor’Hai, she’s one of my companions for this job.”

“Long way for a flame spitter to go for work,” Bart says, their brow furrowing, showing a bit of curiosity. 

“O-oh, well I’m a member of the Li’noval. I’m on a pilgrimage with my mentor and we needed some coin.” Hai answers, not expecting to be put on the spot.

“Sounds fancy. Clearly, it keeps you more active than this asshole.” Bart gestures to Horrus with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“I’ll have you know I keep plenty active, but you try getting ripped with an addiction to kandasine and crippling alcoholism.”

“Ooh, the kandi got you,” Bart says, their eyes widening in a show of genuine concern.

“Yeah, but don’t worry I got over it,” Horrus says, taking a long drink of their cocktail.

“Not many escape the kandi in one piece. Just for that, all drinks are on the house.”

“Is that so…” A grin growing on their face

“Oh sweet Balpha, I know that face.” 

“Let’s get a round for the whole place then!” Horrus yells raising their glass, only to be met with some light cheers from the few patrons who are still conscious. 

“How about we change that to half off.” Bart jokes, as he starts pouring more drinks. 

“Fair enough. Say do you still house people if they need it. I’ve got business near the spire tomorrow but I’d feel much more comfortable sleeping at home.” 

“Sure, it’s in the same place.” Bart says with a warm smile, “It’s nice to have you back Carth.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, it’s good to be back.” Horrus chuckles, well I’ll leave you to your other patrons, although if it’s not too much of a bother I’m sure my friend would like some ale dropped off sometime later tonight.”

“Any friend of Carth’s is a friend of mine. I’d be happy to.”

“Alright, see you then you old devil,” Horrus says, taking the last drink of their cocktail. 

Bart waves to Horrus and Hai as they walk through a door in the back of the bar that leads them to another alley. 

“Carth?” Hai asks as soon as the door is closed.

“It was my birth name,” Horrus says, scratching the back of their neck.

“Aw you’re embarrassed, that’s so cute.” 

“Oh Shut up.” Horrus chuckles.

The two companions laugh as they walk towards their lodging and prepare for the trials ahead.

September 24, 2022 03:38

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4 comments

Curtis Jackson
20:27 Oct 01, 2022

Mr. Christopherson, you provided this story some quality input, including the development of your characters and their relationships with each other. Here, a campfire was started but not much caught on fire since then, which may seem unusual considering the title, "The Devil Comes Home." Well, the devil appears trapped in an extensive exposition or introduction. One area that might drain a story is having more than sufficient dialogue. That could reveal the characters' personalities, but their decisions, actions, and feelings are windows f...

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05:19 Oct 02, 2022

Thank you for the feedback. I must admit that I am not used to the short story format and that perhaps made me feel like front-loading the story with exposition was necessary, something I will certainly work to amend for future submissions. My unfamiliarity with the format also caused me to be a tad too ambitious, especially considering the time limit, which is why it has no real conflict, I felt like I was forced to cut it due to time restraints, which is another thing I will work to amend. I will also be sure to specify the use of profanit...

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Akshay Arora
02:53 Oct 01, 2022

hi paul! this was a very pleasant read. i think the characters and the world are interesting and i'm curious to see where it goes. that said, even if this is Chapter One to a longer piece, i think it's better to write with resolution in mind—especially if you're submitting work in the short story format. also obstacles help. even if it's all internal, I never felt that these characters struggled with anything or were set up with any kind of challenge. it's hard to develop a conflict without obstacles, and even more difficult to arrive at any...

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05:08 Oct 02, 2022

Thank you for your feedback. I must admit that I did have more planned that I ended up cutting it for the sake of finishing the story before the deadline. It also doesn't help that I am not used to the short story style and the story did run away from me at some point. That being said I probably could have found a better workaround, and it is definitely something I work to improve on as I continue to submit stories. Once again, thank you for taking the time to not only read the story but also provide criticism.

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