Heavenly Rain

She always thought there was plenty of time. I don't think any of us realize just how precious time can be. Until it runs out on us. Her story starts before her twentieth birthday. A young, soon to be woman who had her whole life ahead. As typical as it may sound, her story begins with a young man. A man in his mid twenties. She didn't know it at the time but this man would show her the world through his eyes. Ah yes, beautiful, strong yet gentle, mysterious, adventurous blue eyes. The kind of eyes you get lost in.

Have you ever met someone, that you had such a magnetic connection to? A feeling you could not explain. It went past physical attraction. It was like their souls met and were releaved, because they didn't need to search for each other any longer. She grew up in a small town. He grew up in a busy city. She was a bit nieve about the ugly that existed in the world. He knew all too well about the monsters that hid under the bed. He was handsome. A little rough around the edges. (This was very attractive to her) She saw the beauty in things. She was inexperienced. He had plenty of stories to tell. Somehow they balanced each other out so perfectly. It's true what they say about opposites attracting. But they also had alot of similarities. They learned alot from each other.

They had alot of ups and downs, as everyone does. With him at her side, she could face anything. And the good times were really good. Their light met their darkness and they would come together to create fireworks. Her world didn't revolve around him. Or vice versa. They made each other stronger together, but also as individuals. Before she knew it, time had flew by. Three decades loving this man. Having adventures together. They had a family. Two incredible kids. A dog, a cat, a home filled with love. They didn't have much money. But that was o.k. They had what they needed. They were rich in other ways that meant more to them. Times weren't always easy. They had their fair share of struggle. But honestly, it was them against the world. They always beat the odds.

She dealt with anxiety since she was a small girl. The rain always calmed her down. Something beautiful when the sky opens up with electric bolts of lightning and rumbling thunder and rain pours down from the clouds onto the roof of the house. It may sound strange to some. But this always made her feel better. Sometimes they would go out and stand in the rain. It made her feel close to heaven.It made her heart rate slow down to where it needed to be.He would hold her close and they would just dance in the rain. Her head up against his shoulder. It would take away her fear. Her anxiety.

I'm sure if he had a choice, he wouldn't be out there like a crazy person in the rain. But he never complained. He did it for her. When she lost him to an unexpected illness, her life imploded.

A big part of her died with him. But she was a mom. Her kids needed her. So she did her best to stay strong for them. They were in their twenties. So they weren't kids anymore. But they still needed her. They needed each other. She tried to go outside and stand in the rain, when her anxiety took over. But it no longer gave her a sense of calmness.It just made her miss him, that much more.

Remember that magnetic connection I was telling you about? She still felt this, after he passed away. She could close her eyes and see his starring back. It wasn't a memory. It was more of a vision. It wasn't a dream. Those eyes were really there. She didn't get to say goodbye to her soulmate, when he died. She sat at his bedside for a week in the hospital. Holding his hand, laying her head on his chest. He was in a coma. But he never looked more at peace. After she went through the anger of grief, she realized something. She spent alot of time in that hospital chapel praying to her higher power to save him, and bring him back to her. God knew they could never say those words and let go. She also knew how lucky she was to have three decades of an amazing life with him. To love someone so much and to be loved for most of her life. To be loved so completely. That was a gift. Grief is the price we pay for love.

As hard as it is. She never let go. But held on loosely.

Even though they made plans to grow old together. She got to love him for the rest of his life. There are people in the world who never get to experience a love like theirs. Everyone deserves to be loved this way. One night it was storming outside. The kind of storm that shakes the house. Where it rains sideways. She went outside to sit on the porch. The sky was so beautiful. It was a violet color. The rain had slowed down a little bit. She felt this need to stand in it. She craved that feeling she use to get, when he was out there with her. A feeling of closeness to heaven. She was looking at the mesmerizing purple sky, as drops of rain washed over her face. She closed her eyes and once again saw his. The eyes she use to look into, and would calm her down. The eyes that use to be so intoxicating. There they were. Only this time, it wasn't just his eyes. It was all of him. She didn't dare open her eyes in fear he would vanish. He was in his younger, magnificent form. Looking as he did when they met. So handsome, mysterious, and cool. She got that feeling of adrenaline, like she did back then. Too shy to approach him, but the desire to know him pulled her in. She had a love that consumed her. An adventure that was daring, exciting and even a bit dangerous at times. She really missed her life with him.

As memories came flooding back, she was walking down the street of her past. Reliving every moment they shared together. Every kiss. Every tender moment.Every crazy thing they did together, when everything was new and exciting. When the arguments, and times of struggle reappeared, he reached his hand out and pulled her in close. It started raining a little harder. She didn't dare open her eyes or go inside. He backed up to look at her. He wiped a tear from her cheek. He kissed her forehead. Which is something he had done in the past when she was having a bad day. He looked into her eyes so intensely, she felt it in her soul.They danced for hours, until the sun came up. They never spoke. They didn't need to. She needed him and he was there. She knew in this moment, she would never be alone. One day, when it was her time she would reunite in heaven with her soulmate. Until then, they could dance in the rain.