Fear itself

“All you have to fear is fear itself.” I heard that line from my father more times than I could count growing up. It got me through quite a few things in my fifteen years of life: baseball tryouts, my first kiss, getting behind the wheel of my dad’s Toyota the day I got my learner’s permit. Three months ago, on the day of his funeral, it played in my head over and over again, always in his voice. A car accident had taken him from us, it was raining hard that day and visibility was already low due to fog. They found him the next day, mom had got worried and called the police when he hadn’t returned home. I was afraid of what would happen now that he wasn't here with us. He was the glue that held the family together. 

 My mother stayed at home with my sister and I, and hadn’t worked since I was born; she was nineteen and only worked one job by that time. She was planning on returning to work after I started school, but when I turned five my sister Anna was born. She was only two when we knew there was something different about her and she would require extra care and expensive medication. My father had made enough money for us to live comfortably, but now that he is gone mom works two jobs just to make ends meet, and is hardly ever home.

I take care of things at the house while she is at work, including my sister. After school I always head straight to the Williams’ house, our neighbors, where she is homeschooled with their child. He doesn't have the disadvantages Anna does, but is slow at learning and his mother is a patient teacher. My mother and Mrs. Willaims have been friends since high school, and when father died she offered to teach Anna as well. Then we walk to our house together, thankfully it had been paid off before the accident, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to stay there with what little mom was making now. It was a two story cottage, blue with white shutters in a nice neighborhood, the kind where everyone's yard was well manicured and the crime was low.  

Today it's a sunny day with no clouds in sight as we walk back to the house. I walk slowly so she can keep up. I inherited my dad's long legs and brown hair but she takes more after mom with dirty blonde hair and a shorter stature so every one step for me, is two for her. 

 “How was your day?” I ask Anna.

She looks up at me grinning “I had the best day ever Danny.”

Everyday I ask her that question and she always gives the same answer. She goes on to tell me all about what she learned that day and how she was excited for the weekend. When we reach the house she heads straight to the living room to watch tv on the couch. She plops down and turns on cartoons, with the volume up way too loud as usual. I go to the kitchen and preheat the oven for dinner, frozen pizza again, then head off to my room upstairs to drop off my backpack and change into more comfortable clothes. As I’m getting dressed I hear a loud bang coming from downstairs and my sister screams. Thinking she is just freaking out over a spider or something of the like, I walk downstairs to find the living room empty and the front door wide open. I walk outside onto the porch and terror strikes me when I see my sister in the backseat of an old, green station wagon, banging on the glass and screaming my name to save her. 

I race towards the vehicle praying I can get to her in time, but before I get halfway to her the driver speeds off, tires squealing. I chase after it for as long as I can, but soon it turns a corner onto the main road and is out of sight. 

“NO!” I scream. 

 In my panic I didn’t see the driver or get the license plate number. I run as fast as I can back to the house and fumbling with the phone I dial 911. I tell the operator everything that happened, she makes me repeat some details, probably because I’m talking way too fast. 

“We are sending someone to your house now, and putting out a description of the car. Are you parents home?” she asks. 

“No, my mom is at work. It was just Anna and me here.” I reply.

“Where does she work? We will get in touch with her.”

Twenty minutes later my mom, who is hysterical, and 2 officers are in the house trying to get as much information from me as possible. After repeating the story 3 times, I started getting frustrated.

“Why haven’t you started looking for her yet!” I yell “I've told you what happened already! She needs her medicine, she is supposed to take it every night.”

“Daniel! The officers are just doing their jobs.” she says through her sobs.

 She blows her nose in a tissue one of the officers hands her. The other officer, a dark haired man with kind eyes sits down on the couch next to me.

“I know all these questions can be frustrating, but we wanna make sure we have all the information we can so we can find your sister.” 

I nod and the officer stands and turns to my mother. “We have cars out looking for the station wagon your son described. We will do our best to find your daughter.”

 Mom walks them to the door and when they leave she starts crying even harder, hugging me tightly around the shoulders. 

“I’m sorry. I should've been here.” she whispered 

I stepped back and looked in her red, swollen eyes. “This isn't your fault mom, you can't blame yourself! If anything it's my fault. I should’ve come downstairs quicker, maybe I could’ve stopped it.”

She shakes her head. “No you’re right it’s no one's fault besides that monsters'."

“We should go out and look too, the more people looking the better right?” I ask.

“Yes. Let's go.” she agrees. 

We drove all over town searching for the station wagon. Traveling down back roads I’ve never been down before, parking lots, and main roads. It was dark and hard to see, there were a few times we thought we found it but it would either be the wrong color or the wrong vehicle altogether. We searched for hours to no avail. It was nearly 3 a.m. when we decided to go home. Mom could barely hold her eyes open.

 “We should try again in the daylight and after some rest.” she sighs.

Regrettably, I agree. Maybe the police were having better luck. 

When we return home mom makes a call to the police station to see if there’s any news. After a few moments she walks into the living room with a disappointed look. So no luck there either then. We head to our rooms in silence, neither of us knowing what to say to make the other feel better. I lay in bed, trying to picture Anna safe back home. After losing dad, we can’t lose her too. Mom would never recover, neither would I. It takes me a while to fall asleep despite the exhaustion when I do, I have nightmares of the kidnapping. This time I reach the living room just in time to see Anna being dragged out of the house by a broad, tall man. I try to make him out but his face is just a dark shadow. I chase them to the car but once again I am too late and it speeds away. 

I shoot straight up in bed, my sheets are covered in sweat. I look to the nightstand at where my alarm clock is, it’s 8 a.m.! I can hear mom downstairs. I put on my clothes in a hurry and raced downstairs skipping steps on the way down. “Have they found anything?” I ask as soon as I spot mom in the kitchen hanging up the phone. She shakes her head with a distant look on her face. I know she is starting to expect the worst, I grab the keys from the counter and some fruit from the refrigerator. I don't think either of us had eaten since lunch yesterday and I was starting to feel it. “Come on mom, let's go look some more. I’ll drive.” I hand her an apple and she smiles appreciatively.

 Outside, the weather matches our mood, cloudy and miserable. We get in the car and I drive towards town. A couple hours searching there and I turn onto a gravel road that leads to the old fairgrounds my dad would take me and Anna to when it was still open. The best memories I have of him were made there. It probably should have been shut down way before it was. Most of the rides didn’t work and the ones that did weren’t even that exciting, but we loved going anyway. We would ride every ride we could and then dad would get us a funnel cake to share. 

Mom gasps suddenly interrupting me from my thoughts. “Is that it?” she whispers. I follow her stare and my heart drops to my stomach. In front of what used to be the event building is the green station wagon. 

“Call the police.” I tell her as I reach for the handle. 

“Daniel don’t” she pleads. “Wait for them to get here.” 

Ignoring her I exit the car and shut the door carefully so I don’t make any noise. I look back at her through the rolled down window.

 “I have to go help her. We don't know how long the cops will take to get here. I’m going to get her out of there.” I don’t wait to see if she agrees,

 I make my way towards the building, crouching so I’m not seen from the windows. I try the front door and to my surprise it has been left unlocked, adrenaline rushes through me, cautiously I enter. “All you have to fear is fear itself, All you have to fear is fear itself.” I repeat under my breath. It's almost pitch black in the front room but there is just enough light filtering in from the adjoining room that I can make my way to the door. I look through the crack the light is coming through. There tied up, sitting on the floor blindfolded is Anna.

 She looks to be unconscious but alone in the room.I approach her quietly, I remove her blindfold and the ropes that are binding her, and gently shake her. Slowly she awakens, something is wrong, her eyes are unfocused and she starts screaming and backing away from me. I realize she doesn't know who I am, she has been too long without her medicine. “Anna it's me Danny.” Again I try to approach her, as I get closer to her I hear sirens outside of the building. I turn to look out the window to alert someone to our location when I feel an agonizing pain in my abdomen. Anna is standing right in front of me with her arm extended. I look down and see a jagged bar sticking out of me, and Anna’s hand on the other end of it. 

The police finally enter the building as I fall to the floor. I can hear my mom screaming my name, the police trying to calm Anna who was now crying and yelling at everyone to stay away from her, another officer giving orders to fan out and search the rest of the building for the kidnapper, In that moment none of that matters because Anna is found and the pain is gone. I close my eyes and when I open them again I see my father.