Sweet, Crow Pie

One day in June on his 44th birthday, John Latimer received some very distressing news.   News that got him thinking about what should happen to his earthly possessions after he is gone. And so he sat down, his pen in hand, and wrote out his last will and testament. Smiling happily at all the trouble it could cause.

John had always been a very quiet man. Soft-spoken, he rarely spoke his mind, more observant than chatty. He lived simply in a small, easy to maintain home in a nice quiet suburb. With a small front yard garden that his husband Mathis had loved, and John still tended. Talking to the flowers just as the love of his life once did. He loved his quiet cozy life, sad though it sometimes was, as memories of his lost love would, at times, overtake him. For the most part, John was happy. 

The one dark spot in his life was his family, who only vaguely tolerated his illicit choice of lifestyle.  Making snide remarks here, a cutting observation there. John's response was always the same. A soft, amiable smile, a nod and  a good-naturedly clamp on the speaker’s shoulder.  He would then head outside, book in hand, reading and watching as his nieces and nephews played some inane childhood game. His family was equally happy to leave him be. After all, it was only right to begrudgingly tolerate one's family.

None of his friends understood why he would subject himself to just treatment. Or sit for hours in their presence. John just shrugged before politely changing the subject. John Latimer was a very content with himself, man.

So it came as quite the shock when, just three days before his 45th birthday, John lost his battle to cancer. 

Accordingly, those who mattered were devastated.

A week following his passing, John Latimer’s family received a phone call from the Law office of Hussain, Toyama, and Smith. 

John’s family, a frowning, sour crowd piled in, dressed in their Sunday best, into the office's large conference room. 

“Hello,” Mrs. Hussain, began her slight Indian lilt, grating heavily on John’s vaguely racist family.  “I want to thank you all for coming and to offer my condolences. Your son and brother, John Emmit Latimer, passed away due to complications associated with his cancer diagnosis-”

“Are you shitting me?” John’s father, Harold, asked in disbelief. 

“No, sir, I have a copy of the doctor’s report here,” Mrs Hussain explains handing them a file with the report. Which his wife, Martha, took and opened. Eyes turning glassy as she read what it said. 

“Excuse me, but it says he died over a week ago. Why were we not personally informed?” Martha, timidly asked.

“Because you are not listed as his next of kin, our law firm was.”

“But we are his family!” John’s brother, Mark stood voice loud with indignation. 

“We only follow the wishes of our client, granted it is not something we normally do, but considering the amount Mr. Latimer was worth, our small firm made an exception-”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” John’s oldest brother, Kent, asked. “Johnny’s worth?”

“That is why we called you here today. To discuss with you the terms of John’s last wishes were as described in his will,” the lawyer explained kindly. “If you will please take a seat. We can begin.”

The family quieted down and a large hulk of a man walked in to stand behind Mrs. Hussain. As expected, John’s family tensed as the muscled man’s eyes bore into them.  

“This is the last will and testament of John Emmit Latimer,” the lawyer began. “To my beloved family. For my nieces and nephews, I have started a family college trust fund. The requirements to obtain financial assistance are as follows. A GPA of 3.8 or higher. Acceptance and attendance to an out-of-state college, preferably one with an open-minded atmosphere and large student body diversity. Money will be paid directly to the school and a small stipend will be given for housing and basic needs.The law office of Hussain, Toyama and Smith is in charge of the allocation of funds.  For my parents and siblings, I offer to you the chance to receive 5 million dollars-”

“Holy shit,” Mark said standing and whooping happily. “We are going to be rich, baby,” he said trying to grab his wife and swing her around. 

“Mark, the nice Indian Lady isn’t finished,” she said, swatting his hand away from her. 

“As I was saying,” Mrs. Hussain said, looking rather put out but the sudden outburst. “For my parents and siblings, I offer to you the chance to receive 5 million dollars, providing they are able to listen without complaint and with a heartfelt happy smile, as a list of their faults are read to them. Or they can walk away now and forfeit any possibility of an inheritance. 

John’s family underestimated the thickness of their entitled white skin. 

First his father was called, his face happy as he thought about all of the things the money could buy. A new car, a new luxury house, and fishing trips for him and his buddies around the world. But as the contents of his letter began to filter through his fog of looming excess, his feelings of happiness were washed away with anger, as his son called him a fat ass, useless racist who let his wife work herself to the bone while he cried and moaned about lost football potential. In a haze of rage, he advanced on the small Indian woman, right before his neck and wrist were gripped tightly and his body was handed off to another, brute of a man. 

To his mother, he offers her 5 million dollars to divorce her husband and start her life anew. Without an ounce of hesitation, she agreed and Mr. Toyama entered, to take her to another room to get the divorce paperwork started.

The rest of the situation devolved after that as each of his brothers began to rage and throw a tantrum. They too were quickly escorted out along with their wives. The last one was his sister, Angie, who was just over twenty and laughing up a storm. 

“Dear Angie, it began. I saved you for last, because I knew out of all of our despicable family, you were like me. In love with your best friend, Yuka. I used to watch you, how you smiled and laughed at her very bad jokes. The way your eyes lit up when she called. I watched as you shrank and withered in on yourself as our family showed off the depths of their cruelty to those who love differently. So to you my sweet sister, I offer you the chance to run away. Take Yuka and make a life for yourself someplace away from their small minds. If you say yes, you and mom will receive $15 million each. Find a cheerful place and live your life. Be big and bold and let your petals bloom. Find the same kind of happiness that I found with Mathis. 

“He knew?” Angie said quietly, she voice small and cracking with awe. As tears brimmed her eyes. 

Mrs. Hussain only nodded, a sad smile on her face, “So...what do you say?” she asked gently after a time, letting the information sink in. 

“Yes, I say yes. ”   

John Latimer was a simple man. Who had lived a quiet life in a small house that he once shared with the love of his life.