The Scars of The Past

     Grandma taught me how to count with tallies. One, two, three, four, then I cross it over marking five. I look at the chalkboard and see hundreds and hundreds of tallies. Each set represents 5 years. Every single tally mark represents a year. I'll be turning 32 in a few days,but age is just another number across the board of life. I have tons more to live. I'm sure after my birthday it will mark another tally,but life will go on. Every dreading day of my life will go on. I work at a museum. It's nothing special. For my birthday I might just quit my job, but there is someone keeping me there. He has all the blackmail on me a person could get. I'm trapped and have no way out. Well that's not true I have one way out, but that's a path I hope not to follow for a long time. 

   I sit down for a moment of silence. I stare at the wall invisioning the tally board. As I look at each tally it's as if I'm looking through memories of my past. My mind gets caught on one memory a few years ago. I was plotting the biggest robbery the world would have ever seen,and I got so caught up in my scheme I didn't notice the other person standing in the room watching me plot. 

     "Emma." His voice came into my mind as I remember back. His voice was softer back then. He wasn't so rough and cruel. All I wish for is to go back to that night and start over,but unfortunately the villain never gets a happy ending. "What are you doing?" I look at him,but he doesn't look at me. He knows perfectly well what I am doing. He looks over the museum's blueprints and reads my little side notes of the code I should use for each door,the location of each object I was to obtain, and how I'm going to do it. 

   I don't even bother telling him what I'm doing. He walks over to me and grabs my shoulders tightly then whispers in a harsh voice "What are you doing?" He pulled out a gun. I don't know how he had one. He seemed to be the sweetest boy I had ever met,but I was wrong. Even he had a dark side. He was willing to kill for money. 

   "Will, what are you planning on doing?" My voice was trembling with fear, yet my heart was filling with sadness. I didn't know this mix of emotions was even possible,but there he was proving me wrong. I knew our relationship was over after that night. He started to blackmail me. And once he started it seemed as though he couldn't stop. I have blackmail on him too,but there's something inside of me that tells me not to expose him. As I search deeper through my feelings, I realized it was love. I wish I could get him back, but all he wants is money and all I want is him.

   The clock began to make its loud noise that will go on for 30 more seconds. I must have been thinking for about half an hour. I was so lost in my thoughts that I never noticed the slight creak of my backdoor opening. I didn't notice the haunting footsteps coming closer to me. I didn't even smell Will as he crept behind me. But what I did notice was his breath as he put the toxic weapon to me. And it was in that second that I said "sorry." 

   I expected pain,but it never came. I expected a loud bang, but I couldn't hear anything. What I could feel was wet steaming tears dripping from my face. I never would have expected this from him, but here he was and what he said changed my life forever. He dropped the gun on the floor and fell. My heart sunk. Had he just killed himself? Had I been so terrified that I blocked out all noise? No,it couldn't be. I turned around and picked up the gun to my forehead. I couldn't live unless I was with him. I could feel the gun pressing against my head, I felt my hand shaking, and finally I heard him. A signal of life from him was all I needed,but what he said was all I wanted.

   " I'm sorry." What, he's sorry? He was about to kill me, what is going on? I hate this storm of emotions. 

     He got up and hugged me. It's all I've been wanting for years. I dreamed of something like this but never thought it would actually happen.

      I looked over at the board,but it was gone. Every tally was wiped clean. I had a new slate. I knew now that I would be able to start over with him. We would flee the country and start over in some place far from society. It was just us two. We knew each other's secrets and no one else. We were in no trouble. We forgave each other. And that was all we needed to live our happy lives. 

In that split of a second he turned me around until I was facing him. I don't know why he ever blackmailed me in the first place, after all we did love each other. But how he hurt me didn't matter now,I was finally with him again.

"What happened to us?" I mean really. If we were both gold diggers then why didn't we do it together.

"I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I needed the money and it seemed perfect, except for one flaw and that is...I didn't have you." But of course we were the villains in this story and we didn't get the happily ever after we desired. As he kissed me on the cheek the police busted through the door. And he whispered in my ear "I turned us in."

My heart shattered at that. I finally had him,but now we are going to be separated forever. Why would he do that. I can't live like this any longer. I can't live without him again.

"Goodbye Will. I took the gun and bang! The lights turned off.