Option Two

It took a few seconds to realize I was utterly and completely lost. I turned left, moss-covered trees stretched into darkness, interrupted by soft moonlight and a few stars. To my right, the same. Felix has said that if I get turned around, just go forward. But forward how? I decided to go back the way I had come.

Upon turning around, I realized the trees looked different, taller and menacing. I hated camping, I hated nature in general, I had only gone because Felix had insisted it would be a fun and romantic vacation. Believe me, their’s nothing fun about making out in the woods with rocks sticking you in the back.

What kind of man sends his fiancée to get firewood anyway? I stumbled around until I found a log. Sitting down, I pulled out my phone. No bars, just like it had been for the past three days. Maybe I could fake sick, he would have to take me back home,not that he would take care of me, but at least I would be indoors.

"Felix!"

Nothing. He was probably asleep by now.

Using my flashlight, I fumbled around for a few more feet. My foot got caught on something and I went sprawling down a hill. Sticks ripping at my clothes, rocks cutting into my skin, my foot got caught on a tree root with a loud crunch, slowing me to a stop.

I sat up, brushing off my hands. Even in the dim light, I could faintly see my ankle starting to swell. I lay on my back, staring at the sky, tears falling softly. I had to have been gone for a few hours now. I knew he wasn't coming. Once again, I would have to save myself.

Bracing myself against a tree, I stood up gingerly. I tried to bear weight on my ankle and crumpled almost immediately. As I sat there waiting for the pain to subside, I realized something. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt happy. Actually, I could it was about four years ago. Micah, Cosi, Felix, and I had found a perfect spot to watch the great crossing when the Stags and Elvies, and other creatures crossed through the forest, the first sign of spring. We showed a day early so we could relax before the stags showed up.

Cosi and Micah had gone to bed, so Felix and I had just been hanging out. We had only been dating for about five months. I tried to convince myself that I did love him relationships were just hard. But the longer we stayed together, the less I loved him and, by extent, myself. It was little things he chipped away at. My smile was lopsided, I laughed too loud, and I didn’t look good in yellow. Worst of all was the night when he looked at me in the dim light of the fire and told me I was lucky that he thought I was pretty. Auries were a freak of nature, less than nothing.

While part of his statement was true, Auries like myself were, for lack of better words, freaks of nature. Born when the stars were fighting, the elders would say. The bull and ram were fighting when I was born, stubbornness and pride. Felix never let me forget that I wasn’t normal; he seemed to prey on it. Taking delight in suffering. Bringing me to tears, then soothing me until I stopped. I became a show pony, something pretty to drag around and show off. Maybe I had broken something. I refused to be a pretty thing for him to dress up. I was going to be happy even if it killed me.

Off in the distance, I heard a voice.

" I think it would be better to come back during the day, I'm sure the faun will be fine."

I recognized that voice, and it wasn't Felix's.

Bracing myself against the tree, I stood up again, careful not to put weight on my now slightly bruised ankle. A few moments later, a little girl with vibrant hazel eyes appeared in front of me. She smiled and waved. I waved back. In the distance, I saw the figure of a man getting closer. Before he came into view, I knew who he was. The little girl ran towards him.

"Daddy, look, I made a friend!" She pulled him closer. In one hand, he held a torch emitting soft blue flames. His frame slightly more muscular than last time, his hair longer and curly but still with that same messy look.

"Anaya?"

"Micah." Even his name is still familiar on my tongue.

He came closer. "What are you doing out here?"

"Camping, I guess."

He furrowed his brow. "Without a tent or camping supplies, besides, don't you hate nature?"

I didn't exactly have a response; he wasn't wrong.

"Seriously, are you ok?" he stepped forward as I stepped back, putting weight on my bad ankle.

I leaned forward to regain my balance, and he caught my hand, helping me sit down.

"Emmy, hold this, please." He handed the little girl the torch. He took a bag off his back and pulled out a first kit.

First, he cleaned my cuts and scrapes, then gently took off my boot.

"Are you in any pain?" he asked.

I shook my head no before he pressed on my ankle, sending a wave of pain up my leg.

" On second thought, just a little," I said through clenched teeth.

He smirked, handing me a vial from the bag.

"Is this what I think it is?" I asked, shaking the vile.

"Half and no more," he said, wrapping my ankle.

Slowly, I raised the vile to my lips, taking small sips. A familiar, warm, and slightly fruity taste lingered. The pain softened to a dull ache, and I was able to bear some weight on it.

"I don't suppose you remember where you were camping at do you?" he asked, helping me stand.

"I remember there were trees." I smiled softly

"Well, I can't let you stay out here with trees with a messed up ankle," He said, repacking his bag. "Let's go home, Em."

Emmy bounced up and down." Can we do the thing, please!" she begged.

I clung onto his arm, " Yeah, please," I stuck out my lip in a fake pout.

He laughed. That same sweet laugh I used to hear all the time back home.

“Alright,” He tossed his hand up in mock defeat. Taking Emmy in one hand and me in the other, he stared straight ahead. For a moment, nothing happened. Then a dim light appeared, blues swirled with silvers and purples, until a roughly six-foot-tall and four-foot-wide portal appeared a few feet in front of us.

Emmy ran ahead as Micah helped me forward. For a moment, we were engulfed in darkness, then we stood in front of a house, our house. It was exactly as I remembered. Emmy had already ran inside, leaving Micah and i alone. He helped me to the porch swing and propped my foot up on a small ottoman.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him it didn’t hurt that bad, truthfully, my ankle didn’t hurt at all, but it was nice being taken care of. I looked around the small lantern was emitting enough of a glow to light up the porch. Micah had come back with two mugs and a plate of small cakes with little flowers on top.

“So how’s life been treating you?” he asked, handing me one of the mugs.

“It just gave me a messed-up ankle, so not great!” I laughed

He laughed while sitting next to me. “ It’s been like three years since anyone’s seen you.”

“Yet you still recognized my face.”

He tucked one of my braids behind my ear. “Did I make it right?” he asked, grabbing a cake and handing it to me. I bit into it, crunching the caramelized flower on top, sweet caramel mixed with vanilla melting in my mouth. I could feel an involuntary smile spread across my face. I leaned in close and whispered in his ear. “Perfect”.

Micah’s hand slid around my neck, the other up my thigh. I kissed his jawline softly, working my way towards his lips. He pulled back and ran his thumb over my bottom lip.

“Are you sure you want to-” I cut him off, pulling him back in with another kiss.

He pulled off his shirt and leaned closer, running his fingers through my braids. He picked me up and carried me upstairs to the bedroom. I sat on the bed and he stood in front of me, unbuttoning his pants with my fingers. I grabbed the zipper with my teeth and slowly pulled it down. I took off and tossed it in a corner as he climbed on top of me, leaving a trail of kisses on my chest.

He reached for the waistband of my pants, but I caught him softly shaking my head no. Understanding, he flipped me on top of him, my head on his chest, one hand on my back, the other lying next to him. I must have fallen asleep at some point. When I woke up, my shirt was folded neatly on the nightstand next to me.

Kicking the covers off, I stretched, flexing my ankle, and was pleasantly surprised to find it no longer hurt. As I went downstairs, I was met with the sweet smell of French toast. Micah was plating the French toast while Emmy quietly drew at a small coffee table. She dropped one of her crayons and rolled to my feet.

“Here you go.” I handed it back to her.

She smiled, “Daddy’s making French toast.” She lowered her voice, “If you ask nicely, he’ll put chocolate and sugar on it.”

“What are you drawing?” I asked, leaning down

“Faun and her family. Daddy said we’re going to watch the crossing later with Aunt Cosi.”

I looked back at Micah, who was now digging around in the fridge. Emmy was a pretty good drawer. Faun looked exactly like the Stags, glittering white fur and golden antlers with small pink flowers sprouting at the top.

“Emmy, can you go outside and grab some berries, please?”

Emmy jumped up excitedly and ran out the back door.

“I forgot about the crossing,” I said, sitting on the sofa.

“Makes sense, you usually had a few elixirs.” He laughed

“Cosi still lives here?”

“Lives here,” He laughed, “ she practically runs the moonlight tavern.”

I rolled my eyes. “Figures. Anything I can help with?”

“Yeah, grab that basket next to you and put the French toast in.”

Off to the side was a medium almond brown wicker basket. On the sides were hand-stitched golden butterflies. Looking closer, I realized I recognized the stitching.

“This is the basket we used to take. Cosi helped me stitch the butterflies.”

Emmy had come back in with an armful of berries and a letter in her hand. Micah took the letter, and I helped Emmy clean off the berries. I couldn’t believe the small baby Micah and I had found was a small person now. There was so much I had missed: her first words, her first steps, her first great crossing.

Emmy was carefully putting the berries into a jar, snacking on a few as she did.

I glanced over my shoulder at Micah, who had just finished reading the letter.“What’s it say?”

“I’d guess that Cosi is going to meet us here, but I’m not sure.”

He handed me the letter, which was a mixture of actual letters and symbols. Cosi was an Aurie like me, growing up, we learned English and Auriea symbols that stood for letters and sounds. Emmy, who had now decided since the jar was full, she could eat the rest of the berries, paid no mind to me and Micah.

Cosi was terrible at Auriea. She shortened her name from Cossete to Cosi because it was easier to spell, but after about ten, I finally made out that she was coming here to hang out for a while before going to the great crossing. Micah had found another jar for Emmy to put more berries in. Looking around the living room my eyes landed on one of my old books. Chechick to make sure the two where distracted I took the book from the shelf and hid it behind my back.

“Hey, you mind if I use the bathroom real quick?”

Wordlessly, Micah nodded. Carefully making sure he didn’t see the book, I made my way to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. It was an old book with the spine worn and letters mostly faded. My whole life, I had been told not to do these types of things, but I had to see. Inside the book were only four things: cards, a needle, a bottle of dried herb, and a small offering plate.

I pulled two cards and placed them on the bottom of the plate, sprinkling the herbs around them. Taking the needle I made a small pinprick in my index finger letting the blood hits the herbs. It hissed and steamed and soon the bathroom was filled with dark smoke except around the mirror. I picked up one of the cards and held it towards the mirror instead of reflecting the card it showed a different picture. One of my self with Felix surround by his family and friends but none of mine.

There was a smile on my face that was obviously forced we were sitting around a table pressumbly having dinner. When I shifted the card you coudld see faint tears streaks on my face and shattered glass on the floor.

I picked the other card, this one of Micah and me. We were sitting in a field surrounded by wild flowers. Emmy, slightly older, chased a butterfly. Aside from us, there was no one else there. The cards showed you your truth, whether you liked it or not. There was no changing the outcome, no changing what you saw. As the smoke started to clear, I realized something. All those years ago, I thought I was choosing love, I thought I was choosing happiness.

As I turned the knob I realised I was going to start over. I was going to choose me. Nothing and no one was ever going to rob me of my happniess. I hadn’t gotten lost last night in those woods I was exactly where I needed to be.