The Lemon Drops

2020, March 10th

Oh darling, we've had a wonderful time, once again. You made me crazy today. I still feel your touch, feel you close to me. I still have on my lips the taste of the lemon drops we shared “after”, and I cannot wait for being with you again. When? You said maybe next Tuesday, 17^th? I can be there anytime after 3.30pm that day. I long for you already. I love you.

2020, March 11th

Tuesday is fine. Why not say 4.00 pm just like last time? I have an appointment at 2.00 but can meet you in “our bedroom” right after. I miss you. I'll bring lemon drops. :)

2020, March 11^th

Great! I cannot wait to see you. Please keep me close to you until then. I miss miss miss you.

2020, March 13th

Hi sweetie. I'm afraid we have to cancel Tuesday. The schools will be closed by then–as you well know– and my wife cannot look after Lisa. As a nurse she is needed a the hospital more than ever. Take care.

2020, March 13^th

Yes, I heard. Oh darling, this is scary. I am already busy preparing docs and such for the kids to do at home. It's a mess and the first time we'll have to work this way. We'll do our best, and I'll send homework for Lisa through the week-end.Well to all children, but ...your Lisa is special to me, and so are you. I love you.

2020, March 16^th

It's been hard not to hear from you since Friday. How are you doing? I hope Lisa got her homework. I work at home but P. needs to use his computer as well, and the connection is not that good. We share time and space the best we can. I hope all is fine with you. They say we will be locked down from tomorrow on. Is there a chance that we meet today? I think I can find a way to go out. I miss you.

2020, March 17^th

Sorry, I coudn't answer you yesterday.Between work and Lisa around me all day, I've got no time. Elisabeth works hard and when she comes back she's really tired and I need to do all the stuff here, not to speak of telework. I'm afraid we cannot meet for some time, Sweetie. Take care.

2020, March 17^th

I understand, my darling. Do take care. I love you

2020, March 20^th

Hello my darling, I hope you are doing fine. I see Lisa is very thorough with her homework and I have you to congratulate for this. I will have her on Skype with three of my other little students on Tuesday at 2.00 pm if that is okay with you? She'll have this through “official canal” by today evening... but I wanted to keep in touch with you. I miss you. I know you have a lot of your plate but still, I'd love to hear from you. Oh darling, I miss your hands on me, your lips on me and I'm crazy when I think of you, you know. Maybe I can see you on Skype with Lisa on Tuesday. I'd be glad, even if I can say “nothing” to you. Take care, my darling. Give me some news please. I love you.

2020 March, 21^st

Hello Sweetie. Tuesday 2.00pm is fine. I'm sorry not to write to you more often, but you know I'm not one for words, don't you? I'm more one for touch, and kiss and taste :) Moreover I'm even more busy than usual, with Lisa, telework and housecleaning here. I go insane. I miss you too. Take care.

2020 March,21st

Thank you for your message, my darling. You don't know how much it means for me to read you. Have a nice week-end and I hope I can see you ( a little ) on Tuesday. I love you

2020, March, 24th

Oh my darling, it was almost painful to see you oon Skype, even for barely a few seconds. Thank you for having been here with Lisa. You could have staid the whole time, you know. Some other parents did. Anyway, it was nice to see your face and now... you'll have me excited and wanting all night. I'll write more soon, and I'll see you same time next Tuesday with Lisa. I love you.

2020, March, 26th

I am scared everymoment that you become sick, with your wife working at the hospital. How are you doing? Couldn't we find a way to write each day, even a few words? It would make me feel better and more secure, if I knew you are feeling good, my darling.

As for me I am fine, busy with schoolwork and also the chores at home. I feel stuck in our little apartment here, with P. I escape each day very early, to walk the dog along the river for a scant hundred meters, then I come back. And I pace that way, back and forth. My little dog looks at me and seems to say, “Are you nuts?”. It's better than having nothing though, it's better than to stay indoors all day. I go no further, and see almost no one. Everyone keeps his distance, we exchange sorry smiles. Stay safe, my darling, please write soon. I love you.

2020, March, 27th

I prefer not to say I'll write each day. I know if I happen not to be able to write one day, you will get too worried. I'm writing now, Sweetie, and I am with you in your afternoon to make you feel me, and feel my hands on you. I want you bad. We are fine here, although last night Elisabeth came home with a great tiredness and a haunted look. Lots of sick people are flocking to the hospital, and she told me they lack ventilators already. Take care.

2020, March, 27th

I understand. Write when you feel you can, my darling. And please do take care. I love you.

2020, March, 31st

Second time skyping with Lisa today. Oh darling, I wished you have remained with us longer. Lisa worked very well, thanks to you, I'm sure. That is great, but I could see, even in so short a moment, that you looked tired. Take care of yourself, my darling. Oh... I long long long for having some time with you, I long for being in “our bedroom” again, and rest all against you. Will we ever have this again? I miss you, and I love you.

2020, April, 3rd

Hello Sweetie, We are fine here. I'll try to see you more on Tuesday. I'm glad to know you are safe too. Got to go back see Lisa. Hugs.

2020 April 7th

I didn't quite get why you were not at all with Lisa today on Skype? She said you were busy with her mom. What is it? Is she sick? I hope not. I love you.

2020 April, 7th

Hello again my darling, I worry a lot not to read you and wonder if some of yours has got the disease. Is Elisabeth doing fine? Are you? It's crazy to know nothing about you when you mean the world to me. I love you.

2020 April 8th

Do not overreact, Sweetie. Nothing bad happened, but Elisabeth came from work strained and crying and I had to comfort her. We are fine. Take care.

2020 April 8th

I am relieved. I understand how tough her job must be at the moment. Well, take care you too.

Love

2020 April 14th

Hello Sweetie, I have loved to see your face during your lesson on Skype today. You looked beautiful. I'm missing you, and our crazy, sweet moments together.

Love

2020 April 14th

Oh darling, I miss you so so much you have no idea. Yes, it was nice to see you today. Lisa seemed fine, and you too, you looked good. Oh sweet, I feel as if we are an ocean apart. When will we see each other again? I know no one can answer to this... I'm afraid we lose each other, almost as much as I am of the disease. I miss miss miss you. I love you.

2020 April 17th

Another week is almost over and no news from you. I feel I am begging you to write. Indeed I am, my darling. Well, I guess you have much on your plate at the moment. I hope all is well with you and yours. I also hope you feel me when I come at nights, slide in next to you and press my lips to your neck. I miss you so bad, and I love you.

2020 April 20th

Hello Sweetie,

I understand it's hard not to hear from each other. Thank you for writing to me, and letting me know about you, make me feel you. You are sweet, Baby.

But here it's very difficult, more everyday. Even if the peak of the epidemic seems to be behind us and we can hope for a decrease in the numbers of dead or sick in the near future, the hospital is still overcrowded and nurses and doctors have difficult choices to face every day.

Under these conditions, you've got to understand that I must do my best to offer Elisabeth the comfort and support she so much deserves, when she comes back home. And believe me, she's not here very often these days. Meanwhile I have to take care of everything at home, and of Lisa almost twenty-four hours a day.

Sweetie, Our relationship was, is a gift, but a gift for better times, baby. Right now, each of us has decisions to face, and things to do. I cannot tell you what is ahead of us, Sweetie. I am sorry that you feel this bad, but think, you have your work, you have a kind husband, maybe a family you will build soon. Please understand me when I say that I do care for you, Sweetie, but at the moment, I think it would be better for us to concentrate on what really matters, don't you think? Please do take care. I'll see you tomorrow with Lisa.

2020 April 20th

Oh my darling, How can you be this cruel? Don't you know I love you more than life itself? In these somber days we are going through, you are my corner of blue sky, just as blue as your eyes. You tell me to concentrate on what matters. But, my darling. YOU matter. You mean the world to me. I cannot believe our love is at an end? How can this be? Pleae tell me it's not true. I do love you.

2020 April 21st

Darling, It's been an ordeal to see you near Lisa. I wanted to reach out, touch the screen as I would have you. But the look in your eyes was as cold as the screen would have been. Oh Darling, I cannot think, I cannot sleep, and I cannot eat. I'm at my wits' ends and P. looks at me with suspicious eyes. Maybe I could lose everything. I don't care, as long as I don't lose you. Please write, my darling. I love you.

2020 April 21st

Sofia, please be strong. You must not cry, and you must take some rest. And please, do not say a word to your husband. Our relationship was our secret and must remain so. Put yourself together, don't make others suffer. What would Lisa think, if she came to know about her teacher and her dad having an affair? Have you thought about that? I know it's hard, but things are what they are. It's not that easy for me either. Be brave, I know you are. I'll see you next Tuesday with Lisa.

2020 May 4th

Hi Sofia, Sweetie, I was glad to see the smile on your face today. You looked so much better than last week. I knew just how strong you are. I appreciate that you didn't break down and you didn't write any more. I saw you lost some weigth and by the way, it suits you well. Here Lisa is an angel, but she longs for going to school again and see her pretty teacher. Elisabeth feels better, says we could see the end of it in a week or two. We overcame this, Sofia. It's as if a black sheet had been spread over everything for days, and had been magically removed now. By next week, I could go out to work every other day, that is if the neighbor can take care of Lisa. And I've heard school could start again on Monday 18th. Can you believe we would see each other at the schoolgate then? It seems just like a dream. Take care.

2020 May 11th

I saw your sign, as we were skyping for the last time today, Lisa's group and I. I saw those two fingers of yours crossed when you had your hand against your cheek while Lisa was reading aloud oh-so-innocently. I saw the velvet look of your eyes, I wouldn't have been surprised, had you winked. What is it, darling? Have you changed your mind about what matters?

2020 May 11th

I hope you didn't take too seriously my saying our relationship was over, Sweetie. I was overwhelmed by how tired and needy Elisabeth was. I was exhausted too. Remember how we all felt at the time. I am no stronger than any other man, Sweetie. Less than one week. Soon, we'll have lemon drops together again. Six days, and I will see you at the schoolgate. I cannot wait. Take care.

2020 May 17th

I always take all you say very seriously. I know how overwehelmed we all were, but I have come to understand a lot of things during the twelve days when we had no contacts, Mark. Twelve, I'm sure you never counted them. You say you appreciate I didn't break down and didn't write. Well, that's just what I did, although very silently, behind close doors. You can rest easy, P doesn't know I cried my heart out behind his back. Or if he knows, he is smart enough not to say a word about it. As for writing. . . Oh yes I wrote, and wrote, a stream of tears and incoherences. Fortunately–for your peace, and for my dignity–I sent none of those, how did you put that, “needy” messages. One day I woke up, and it was just as if my mind was shouting at me, “Enough!”. And I'm cured. I really am.

It seems you think our lives will resume just where we stopped them and we'll go on, the same, blind way we all did. It won't be this way. People will have to fight to find new jobs, if they find any. Habits will change. No more traveling every which way, no more buying everything we don't need. I think our lives will change drastically and we'll all have to adapt. We'll all have to do the best we can, in the coming months, Mark. And the best I can is not spending two hours a week making love with you, and the remnant of my time missing you.

I am not immune to you though, I know this. So I won't meet you at the schoolgate in the afternoons anymore. I exchanged this task with a colleague. She will do the closing, I will do the morning. This way I guess we won't see too much of each other. Be assured nothing will change for Lisa. Anyway the summer break is just at the corner, and next year she will have forgotten me.

As will you.

I wish you all the best. Take care, Mark.

PS Oh, and I can as well tell you this now: I don't like lemon drops that much.

Annick D. Arnaud