Recipe for an Interesting Relationship
*Take two women (preferably one drunk, the other an ardent empath).
*Add large doses of neediness and lack of self confidence.
*Throw in several pinches of homophobia.
*Stir with caution and at the end, toss in liberal amounts of a Secret Ingredient possessed by all great chefs.
The night Ginny met Alicia marked the end of an age of innocence.
At forty-nine Ginny still wore a glimmer of naïveté bordering that kingdom.
In many ways she truly was innocent.
She appeared to have a modern viewpoint on sexual matters, spoke freely of rather risque behaviours and even displayed a seeming tolerance towards acts some might call deviant.
In reality, she was actually a sexual prude.
Her upbringing had left little room for foraging outside the realms of heterosexuality. She had been raised by two parents who held absolutely NO tolerance for anything other than rampant heterosexuality, and even that was frowned upon if not contained within the sanctity of an officially blessed marriage.
Ginny had worked hard to root out some of her parent's prejudice and in a fog of arrogance believed herself to hold relatively liberal views.
However, you didn’t need to scratch far beneath the surface to rub up against an ingrained bias.
She may have believed she was tolerant of homosexuality, but was unable to squelch a rather high level of disgust when she would try to imagine the acts involved in a gay lifestyle.
Her actual belief was that homosexuality was an “affliction” and that those who suffered with this misfortune fell into the category of “abnormal deviants.”
Paradoxically, she considered herself a worldly woman, believing herself to be tolerant and compassionate.
The shallowness of her acceptance of homosexuality seemed to escape her attention. Life was about to deal her a harsh hand. One that would spin her world around, turn it upside down and shift its axis completely.
Ginny volunteered for a support line and the night she was patched through to Alicia began like numerous others.
It was a busy weekend and many people seemed to be experiencing one crisis or another that sent them to the phone seeking a listening ear and some sympathetic soul to hear their cry for help.
She had worked on the line for several years, been properly trained and was well versed on protocol for responding to desperate pleas.
She had never once been tempted to break guidelines which strongly suggested not meeting callers in person.
She had on occasion offered to support a person by meeting them in a public, neutral location. These rare encounters had never posed a problem and often seemed to be the small extra incentive that led the person to a more in-depth exploration of whatever path they were meant to travel. Gin took no credit for this and was simply satisfied with being in the right place, at the right time. She was grateful to have had the opportunity to reach out and offer support to someone struggling to break surface.
Protocol, common sense and any sense of caution flew out the window the night she was put through to Alicia.
As the conversation wandered into the third hour, Ginny found herself agreeing to meet this woman in her home. She was a little embarrassed to admit to herself that she was partly intrigued because of the address.
Alicia lived in one of the city's most prestigious buildings, a grand old structure that had withstood time, maintained its elegant character and was a much sought after location.
She was also embarrassed at being impressed with Alicia’s employment, an executive officer in a well-known law firm in the city.
Alicia rather casually tossed out these bits of information, almost like attaching a worm to a hook.
The bait worked.
The hook, deftly embedded in Gin’s psyche, found her knocking on Alicia’s door at three in the morning.
It was a surprisingly short step to the place she found herself several days later, languishing sensuously in Alicia’s king size bed.
In retrospect, she realized it was hardly a short step. Her hesitant foot forward was more akin to a wild, blindfolded leap into a bottomless chasm. The jump left Gin trembling with fear.
Truth be told, this leap left her body trembling with feelings that held no resemblance to fear.
She was amazed that acts which at one level repelled her, also left her body weak with exhaustion.
The satiation of sexual pleasure compared to none of her previous experiences with men.
Ginny learned three huge lessons about love and sex with Alicia.
One - love is genderless.
Two - sexual orientation is spaced on a continuum and that a significant portion of the population fall into a spot that could go either way.
The third, and perhaps most important lesson...NO ONE understands a woman’s body like another woman.
True, a few gifted men gathered enough humility to put aside their own sexual inclinations and became willing to learn from a woman as to how to pleasure her.
Gin’s experience was that these men were few and far between.
What amazed her was how utterly and completely she gave herself to the experience with Alicia.
What equally amazed her was that after the honeymoon phase was over, Alicia became rather complacent with her conquest.
Ginny had been lured by Alicia's strong masculine persona. Her 'female' qualities were the main hurdle for Ginny and yet, as they slowly disappeared and her more dominant 'masculine' personality appeared, Ginny was stunned to see that life with a woman began to look remarkably similar to that with a man.
Alicia seemed every bit as callous and emotionally unavailable as any man Gin had known.
Gin once again found herself longing for something she began to realize would never happen.
The excitement and joy the affair initially brought for Gin, was replaced by fear, jealousy and a deep sadness that yet another significant relationship was destined for disaster.
In the end, the best she could muster appreciation for was the one true gift Alicia had given her, a love for a body that Gin had never been comfortable in.
Alicia seemed to revel in the soft folds and roundness of Gin’s body.
Gin in the beginning was most suspicious of this, not quite believing that it was normal.
As their affair deepened, she gradually came to see that Alicia truly did love her body, exactly as it was. In fact, she deliberately foiled Gin’s attempts to make changes.
This acceptance strengthened her confidence and began to replace her deeply held belief that she was somehow flawed.
In the end, the seeds Alicia planted bore fruit.
Ginny began to look at her body, touch it, feel it's lovely softness and find pleasure rather than disgust.
Would she ever find a man who would offer this same support?
Had she ever found one in reality?
Did she regret her experience with Alicia?...FAT CHANCE!