Springing out

Old man winter had finally left, finally, thank god, it seemed like it was going to last forever. but he did leave and with it, a new coming out was going to occur, in more ways than one. The feeling, the sensation, the rebirth. We all have experienced the same feeling, the same freshness, and the same rebirth, but being reborn can mean so much more for some than others, a feeling of newness, and it occurs every year, nothing to get in its way and stop it, the way nature does every at this time of the year. For some people, it's nothing new, others it's a new beginning, but for our guy Bear, that's not his real name, just a nickname, it was a new beginning, with a new life emerging. One he never thought would ever happen again, but one does not know.

Bear does like the spring, even though Autumn is his favorite season, what he likes is the newness and the freshness and the rebirth and regrowth of living things, this time which is his spirit. He especially likes seeing the rising of the flowers out of the now warmed ground, the arrival of the red chested robins and the cardinals, which are his favorite bird, plus the warmth of the sun which left them for months, and the new fragrant smell of the air, watching the rivers or streams flow in the winter, sometimes can be difficult if frozen over, but come the spring, it's a joy to watch their growth coming out of hibernation, hearing the babbling and the rush, other areas may not experience this happening which could be construed as sad, and the animals also, a rebirth and newness for them. Every year it feels the same, but in Bear's 61st year, it was going to be different, he was going to make it happen, it was his time, a long awaited time, one other's not like he would have experienced, as the emergence of the year and the season, he needed to emerge and needed to live, something he did falsely his entire life. Spring may have been marked on the calendar as the 20th of March, for whichever year, but for Mr. Bear, it was April 1st, and we are not fooling.

it was being like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon, in one way and out anew, he felt more alive than ever before, he could actually feel it, from the moment he opened his eyes, he felt the immediate difference, he was happier, something that excluded from him over the years, felt like the proverbial elephant was lifted off of his chest so he could breathe, and breath deeply. it seemed like there were aromas he hadn't smelled either in awhile or before and the pains of the previous time had gone away and he felt like he could adjust and meet head-on any new challenge, that would head his way. The first and probably the hardest was telling the fam, for one never knows what reaction one gets, but there was no problem, a slight hiccup with one family member which has since gotten 200% better, friends were the same way, and the most asked question was," Are you happy?", the answer, a resounding yes.

Mr. Bear was surprised that his creativity sparked more and more and he grew to learn and wanted to try new things, things that may have never interested him before and knowing that failure will happen and not always get it right the first time, the first one was knitting, which he grew to love and never find boring, even after it took him 18 times to get his first scarf right. He then began knitting and creating hats and scarves to send to all of the people who saw his pictures and family requests and blankets and volunteer some creations to organizations, groups like Veteran's organizations, and sea mariners, those who work on the great lakes and ports of our country, these groups have acknowledged and accepted him and his creations is it wrong for the good feeling he received from them. He expanded to doing wall displays of yarn and other DIY projects, he decided if it made him happy, why not. He delved into the world of Graphic design, something he always thought was hard to learn and do, but he did and picked up certificates in design, which he thought would be hard to do and grasp, only to discover it was right up his alley, that was the biggest surprise.

Becoming a cake decorator is something that brings joy and he thoroughly enjoys doing it. Showing his creativity and his own designs bring out the love of doing something he really, really likes, especially making birthday cakes/cupcakes and other delicious sweets like pies and cookies for any occasion, except weddings, he feels that would be too much stress and that is something he doesn't want or need.

One of the hardest things he had to learn was to learn to love himself, which he hadn't done or ever did for a while, and deal with emotions he had never had to deal with. He did find someone who he fell for and did get to do some traveling to other states but did not last, when the love and attraction are one-sided, it just won't work, for the fun was not had at every stop.

He now feels he knows of them, the harshly, cruel learned mistakes of the past and how not to fall into that trap again and keep them in the past, never to be seen or hear of again, and maybe know what the present is like and choose a correct path and maybe, just maybe somewhat the future may hold or hope to hold. So maybe looking ahead will present us with new wonderous, joyful adventures and with a new somebody, who understands and knows the pain and know how to feel, we can only hope and pray.