HOBSON'S CHOICE

(This story is set in earth’s twin planet GAIA2 which is about 800 years behind us and is evolving.)

The King of Colada was having a shortage in revenue funds to meet the civic needs of the people. He summoned his prime minister (PM) and said “You know we are meeting various needs of our population using funds collected by taxes and levies. However I find revenues are wanting. I want your views on augmenting our revenue.”

PM said “Your Highness, I had expected this call and have come prepared. The wizard woman Wizma is also available to tell you about schemes she has suggested to me.”

“Let her come.”

Wizma came in, bowed, and sat to join in the discussion. She was about 30 and looked attractive in the single cloth she wore waist down as was the practice of the citizens.

PM then said “So far we have been collecting various taxes and imposts from the heads of families. If that is changed to include all citizens for valid reasons we’ll have more revenue. Who pays the tax in a family is not our concern. Women are also earning and we should include them also as tax payers. The first tax I have in mind is on beauty. It will be self-assessed by women. Whatever data is submitted by them will not be confidential. Everyone can access the submitted information.”

The King asked “How will women assess beauty?”

“Your Highness, Wizma will explain.”

Wizma stood up and said “First is the face cut. If the face looks nice at any angle that would be 100% rating. Of course included are there a dimple and a persistent smile. If the face is normal if looked at in a mirror it will deserve only 80%. I’ll next come to the hair.”

They were now served yogurt and fresh tender coconut juice. The King wanted a second helping after which Wizma was asked to continue.

Wizma said “If the woman’s hair is up to the heels it is rated 100%. If up to the navel she gets 50%. If up to the shoulders she gets only 20%. If tonsured for any reason she will get zero.”

The King merely yawned. It looked as if he had lost interest. PM whispered to Wizma and she continued “Next I shall come to the bosom. If it is 30 inches she deserves 100% rating. (Author’s note: The measurements were actually in cubits and have been converted into inches for ready understanding!) If between 30 and 40 inches she gets 80%. 40 inches and above rating will be only zero”

The queen now joined and the King explained the proceedings to her.

Wizma continued “A new fashion has come in about stretch marks. No stretch marks  gets 100%. However stretch marks which are cleverly disguised with designs using plant extracts will also be ranked 100%.”

Wizma looked around and seeing a girl standing nearby signed to her to draw near. Wizma said “With the consent of your highness I’ll use a girl here to clarify whatever I’ve said.”  Wizma asked the girl “What work do you do here?”

The girl said “I stand by to fan the royals when required.”

Wizma said “Your Highness, I’ll take the measurements of this simple girl to show how the beauty score is reckoned.”

She made quick measurements and said “This girl isn’t particularly good looking. Her face ranks 20% only. I can see she is unmarried. So she has no stretch marks. Her rating on stretch marks is 100%.Bosom is 40 plus which rates zero only. Her hair is navel level. So she gets 50% The total beauty score work out to 170 out of 400 possible ratings. So she gets a total rating of about 40% which is below average.”

Wizma waited to see if there were any questions. Since there were none she continued “I’ll now come to rating of a woman by a man. What do they expect in a woman? Fidelity,intelligence, beauty, a sense of humour, sincerity, preparation of good food, serious interest in some games or hobby, and courage. The husband could rate these and arrive at a score. If wanting the woman could be taxed.”

The King said “But there could be families with multiple wives.”

Wizma said “When a man has multiple wives it means he could afford them. He could be taxed appropriately.”

The queen said “I object to the proposal. The plural of spouse can be spice! There could be jealousy and bickering between wives, but the man could settle issues and they could all come together to bed. Let them enjoy!”

The King said “Queen’s objection is valid.”

 Wizma continued “I will come to work capacity of the woman. They are mostly washing, cleaning and cooking. These could again be rated by the husband. If found wanting the woman would pay for help. That means the man has the means and he could be taxed.”

The King said “I understand.”

 “Women beautify themselves using various beauty products like kohl, flowers, turmeric, plant extracts, besides jewellery. All these could be taxed. Women and men use white or grey cloth as apparel. If women could be supplied designed and dyed cloth they will pay more and buy. The income of weavers would increase.”

The King said “PM, any further suggestions?”

PM said “Men and women like to go and see the mountain which throws up fire and hot rocks. Entry to the place could be made payable. Citizens go to have a bath in the waterfall. This could also be allowed on a small charge.”

The King said “I’ll consider all these suggestions.”

Wizma said “Your Highness, the fire walk ceremony draws a large crowd. The area could be fenced  and people who want to either see the fire walk or participate could be charged.”

The King said “I cannot do that! People gather as a matter of faith at fire walk sites. It’s like saying people who bathe in the river should be charged. It can’t be done.”

The PM said “It is a wise decision by you sire.”

The King asked “Any other suggestions to raise money?”

Wizma said “Men and even women get massaged in massage parlours. Many sinful acts can take place there. I’m talking with personal experience. Massage parlours could be taxed heavily.”

The King said “I again disagree. Massages are to keep the body healthy. I cannot levy that tax.”

The PM said “I agree with the thinking of your Highness. Instead I’ve a suggestion. We often see boys and girls on the streets walking on ropes with a pole for balance. Such acts can be screened off and people could be allowed to witness such events on payment.”

The King said “Good idea. Even cock fights will draw people. Can be included.”

Wizma said “I suggest showing young women who are beautiful, and awarding  prizes for the best among them. There will be competition to judge the most beautiful. People will flock to see the event which could be taxed.”

The King said “Fine but I would like a similar show to choose a handsome man from among competitors.”

The PM said “You Highness, it could be done and people will pay to watch.”

The King finally said “I’ve heard what all you had to say.. Of course something has to be done to increase our resources. It looks like I’ve no choice except to somehow enhance taxes and introduce new ones.  I’ll think about all your suggestions and decide in due course.”

Court was adjourned.

END

NOTE: I recall having read that it was Jonathan Swift who had first proposed a tax on beauty to be levied after self-appraisal by women.

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