Sunrise, Sunset...

I felt her grip on my forearm tighten as her head fell gracefully onto my shoulder. I didn't want this day to end, even though it just started. We turned our heads towards the light penetrating the thin layer of clouds as dawn was born that November morning. I couldn't even focus on the array of pink luminescence, all I wanted to see was her face, and all she wanted to see was the sunrise...

Who knew that'd be our best time together?

She was a careful, lovely girl, that Elizabeth. Always had her hands in her pockets, swaying to whatever song was bouncing around in her brain. Her brown hair was thick and shiny, and it was always straightened, not a single strand out of place, lest she have a cow. It was her laugh--no, her singing; No! it was the way she--ah, I couldn't tell you even if I tried. All too much for my mind; all I know is, my eyes are ardent to this kind of beauty.

We should not have clicked the way we did. As soon as I met the fair Elizabeth, I was more than starstruck, more than ever. She could barely hold her self together as well. We were inseparable that winter. There were so many things to do together, so little time to accomplish them.

On that fateful November morning, Elizabeth complained of being cold. So cold, in fact, that

I left for a moment's time to get her a blanket. Upon my return, my lady was gone; out like a light. Arriving to the sick room brought about an unfathomable feeling of dread that I'm naught to describe with even the best of my vocabulary. My ears were ringing as the nurses asked me their questions, spoke--mouthed?--the word "aneurysm." I hardly answered them, I'm sure.

I grabbed my wonderful's hand and I held it tightly. No response. I wept beside my lover. I poured out every tear I could spare. I stayed beside her all of those following days, nights, anything in between. Unaware of even the prospect of her next breath being the final. I couldn't think like that, couldn't let those impossible thoughts persist in my intelligence. Impossible, I let it be known.

I lay by her for the days to come, and though I knew she would not, I waited for her to sit up and stroke my face like she had before. For her to tell me she felt all right after all, the professionals had made a mistake. A human error, that's all this was. I looked at her expression; impassive and pale was her once-enlightened visage. In that moment, I looked to the heavens in hope, in sheer defeat, in a sense of longing, that there were someone to answer my cries. Please, God, I bargained. Let it be me, just not the one I so love. I buried my head into my hands and I got down on my knees, pleading to anyone who would listen. In between sobs, I slipped in a word or two into the sky, unembarrassed that the doctors' hands were watching me act as a child. They felt pity for me, I knew. They breezed by, in and out of the quarters, and for the first time, I wasn't reluctant to beg someone who didn't wish to hear me at all.

My cranium was flooded with images of us dancing to the music which we made for ourselves. Those long nights when we filled the silence with conversation and piercing laughter. What was I to fill this silence with?

No more- I hushed up before the thought could finish its reign. I reminded myself again of the way her flesh shone in the moonlight, the way she hugged me close, the way we marveled together at her favorite constellations. Nothing made sense anymore. Even the words I could hear were but babbles to my heart. I could not be saved any longer. Not until I knew that she'd be alright. She'll be alright, I told me. She'll be alright. I was tired, beaten down, dead inside, but I would not budge. I had to stay with her, doesn't matter any "needs." I knew that all I could possibly need was her, anyway. I crawled beside Elizabeth, and an ignorant hope came in waves as I nudged her arm. Nothing. I turned and decided to rest my eyes, staying still just in case she arose out of fright.

In my slumber, I dreamt of that early morning. The beautiful sunrise and the radiant figure beside me filled my vacancy. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened. All of it was a hoax, I had never brought her out to that spot beside the lake. I had never told her to look out to the pink clouds that day. I convinced myself that this was so. I slept better than ever that eve, awaiting my sweet to call me, to ask about how I slept. I would tell her I loved her and I had a heartache about her. It was an odd one, too. I was so glad she was alright. She would be as well. Elizabeth would then tell me not to worry, she was just fine! She was just fine indeed! My heart belongs to you, I'd tell her.

I awoke from my lovely dream awaiting that call. I stopped. I sat up in a jolt, my eyes wandering about the dimly lit room. Where am I? I asked myself, though I knew the answer already. I looked down at my poor Elizabeth. Paler each minute. Deader each second. My chest sank below my feet, below the ground I walked on. My God, how could this be so? I felt the trickling of tears down my face yet again and the space became unbearably hot. I softly kissed her forehead and I performed what I had so long forgotten how to...I smiled at my divine.

As if the plight couldn't worsen at all, the machine made that abhorrent noise. That ungodly, terrible noise. I cannot muffle it, even now. The doctors rushed in, but they could not remove me from her side. I screamed and sobbed, and they pulled and shouted, eventually ripping me away from her. I buried my face in the nearest nurse, and she wept for me. The room began to go dark and I couldn't hear anything but my own shaking breaths.

I peered out the window...the moon shone just like any other eve... No, I thought to myself. It's not permitted to illuminate the sky any longer. Not without her. I was angry at the moon that night. Angry that its dreadful illumination taunted me with every move I could make. Angry that the world just moved on without my dear Elizabeth.

All I knew was: I wasn't like the world. I needed her. She was my breath, my thoughts, my life. And now, she was gone. Forever.