Rooftops

2020. School cancelled. Wearing masks while on a walk. Six feet apart. No toilet paper to be found. But by far the best thing during this whole stupid quarantine thing is that my boyfriend lives next store. With school work being optional, Hudson and I have spent most of our time talking on top of our rooftops. 

‘Meet me up top in 10?’ Hudson texts me.

‘Of course, what are we gonna talk about tonight?” I ask, with it already five at night.

‘I thought of a new cat name.”

“What’s the name?”

“A black cat named Blackberry.”

‘That’s cute.”

‘I know I am.’

I throw on a sweatshirt with it still being very chilly in the Pacific Northwest. I also grab a water bottle and a blanket not knowing how long we are going to be talking tonight. I carefully step out of my window, making sure I don’t knock over my succulent babies.

“Chris, how are you?” Hudson asks.

“I’m good, but you know my family is driving me crazy.” I laugh a little.

“I bet, that's the benefits of being an only child.” 

“You know you are so very lucky.”

“I know I am.”

“How long has it been?” I ask while gazing up at the clouds, trying to make shapes out of them.

“Since…?”

“We have touched each other?”

“34 days.”

“God, fuck. How have I gone that long without sex?”

“I don’t know.”

“I miss you.” I say.

“I’m right here silly.”

“You know what I mean.” I roll my eyes.

“I miss you to baby.” He uses his hand to blow kisses towards me. He gives me his amazing smile.

He looks me dead in the eye and pulls a joint out of his sweatshirt pocket and lights it. He inhales the deep thick smoke then smiles as he exhales. That bad boy personality is what I fell in love with. He makes my insides do loops like crazy.

“You’re hot.” I say with my cheeks lighting up red.

“I know. You’re also hot.”

“Thanks baby. You’re so close yet so far.”

“Chris, we are going to get through this.”

“I know, but what if this is the new normal? Like things never go back to how it was before?”

“Well, that’s not going to happen, so don’t worry about it.”

“But what if?”

“Baby, did you take your meds this morning?”

“No.” 

“Why?”

“Because I forgot.”

“Baby… you know you go crazy inside your mind wondering.”

“I know, it’s just I thought without all the people and without the stress of being inside a school building, I thought, I thought that I did need them.”

“You know how it gets baby boy.”

“I know that Hudson. I love you.” I smile in his direction.

“I love you too darling.”

***

I yawn, “what time is it?”

“Umm, two thirty-four am.”

“Wow, what have we been doing these past few hours? It has gone by so quickly.”

“I know, time flies with you around.”

“I’m tired, but I don’t want to leave you.”

“We’ll talk again soon, love.”

“I wish we could cuddle.”

“Soon, my love, soon.”

“Can we please just break the rules, please?”

“You know how I hate saying no to you, but I’m sorry you know we can’t. Even though I would love to.”

“But, I’m not sick, you’re not sick please.”

“I’m sorry, but rules are rules.”

“Fine, goodnight.” I say very bitterly.

“Goodnight my love.” He says with all his love being put into his voice.

***

‘Roof?’ I text.

‘When?’

‘Now, please.’

‘Are you okay.’

‘Please, just hurry.’ I always hate these nights, the nights where she drinks like crazy even though she said she was stopping.

While climbing on to the roof the wind turns my salty into icy daggers. My hands hurt and began to bruise. I can feel where her hands were on my torso, it burns like hell. 

“Chirs, baby are you okay?” He says very worriedly.

“No, Hudson s-s-she did it ag-again.” I cry.

“I thought she stopped drinking.”

“Me-me too, but I g-guess she started again.”

“I’m sorry baby. Are you bleeding anywhere?”

“Not anything I can’t handle.”

“Baby… I would do anything to hold and take care of you right now.”

“I wish you could hold me.”

“As do I.” I cry.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Can you toss me a joint?” I ask.

“Chris, you have never even smoked one before.”

“I know, but I have a stoner boyfriend and I thought it was time to learn.” That’s not why.

“Babe, does this have anything to do with Suzie?” 

“Maybe...”

“One, I can’t throw for shit and two you don’t need it.”

“But I wanna try.”

“To bad baby boy.”

“Pleaseeeeeeee.”

“When this is all over we can get high together, okay?”

“Okay, fine.” I roll my eyes.

“Bitch, I can hear your roll eye from over here.”

“That was my plan babe.”

Each night has been like this. Under the cool night sky having the stars listen in on our conversations. This reminds me of long before we were together. We used to sneak out and talk for hours. The amount of things these stars have heard come from our mouths. The stories, the silent tears, the laughs, the fights, the kisses, the love. 

“You keep me sane.” I say.

“You keep me sane too.”

“I should probably go. I still have an essay due in an hour; I haven’t even started it yet.”

“Why? Just leave it off.”

“I can’t.”

“Please.”

“Since when do you beg? Last time I checked I was the one who got it up the ass.”

“Since I don’t want my boyfriend to leave me alone.”

“Fine, 20 more minutes.”

“Yay!”

“It’s just because I love you.”

“I love you too. Do you know what Sunday is?” He asks.

“Of course, it is our eight months.”

“I hate that we can’t be together during that.”

“Me too, but what about a facetime date?”

“We could do video chat sex!”

“Throwback to the 2000’s.” Hudson yells.

“Shhhh, it's past 11.”

“Why haven’t we thought of sex over facetime in the 34 days before today?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Babe, we’re smart.”

“Long distance people have been doing this for so long.”

“Everyone who doesn’t live together is doing long distance.”

“We’ll be okay.” I sigh.

“We just have to wait this out baby. We will make it out of this. I will be waiting for you on the other side.”

“I love you babe.”

“I love you too baby boy.”