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I look up to the mountains. That’s the only way I can see. The stars shine in the sky, giving mercy for all us evildoers and handicapped people.

I look up to the mountains and see stars.

#

My name is Destiny. I’m 20 years old and have lived all my life in Ameil, a city near the mountains. I’m also blind, but the only thing I ever remember seeing is the stars, shining down onto the mountains. Giving me hope that I will one day see.

Ameil is a compact town, so everyone knows and pities me. Everyone’s always discouraging me, always being negative. Those few people who know that I have seen stars and know that I have faith in my sight returning scoff at me. They laugh and say, “Dear Destiny, don’t put your faith in dreams. All dreams fail you and they never come true. Don’t waste your time like that. Instead, try to do something useful and productive.” My town, obsessed with productivity! Little do they know that I work hard for my sight to return and for me to flourish during this time of its loss. I have no friends and my family scorns me. I’m alone, but then I remember the stars. They never left me, nor will they ever forsake me. They’ve stayed by my side and will always.                    

 #

My father called me and said, “Dear Destiny, it’s time you provide for yourself. Your mother and I have decided that we won’t help or house you after your twenty-first birthday.” I always knew that it would happen. I rely on them a lot. It’s how I’ve lived for 20 years. But once they kick me out, I will have nowhere to stay. I’ll be the blind wanderer who dreams of her sight returning. I’ll be the girl whose parents kicked her out and frowned upon by the entire town of Ameil. A pleasing prospect, isn’t it? I’d say so myself.                     

 #

In my favorite coffee shop, (I’m not sure if its Bucks make of stars or Stars of bucks) I heard a song. I remember little of it, only one line. Last night was the last night of my past life. It’s true. Tomorrow I’m turning 21. Tomorrow, I will say that tonight was the last night of my current life and that night would be the first night of my fresh life. Here at Stars of Bucks, I can feel people looking at me, faces full of pity. They all would know that tomorrow I have to leave my parent’s house. None of them would take me in, I know that much. People here are stupid enough to think blindness is contagious. They are dumb enough to think that if they touch me or talk to me, they can never see again. It’s at times like these where that crazy fear comes into play. At times like these, I want to say to them, “What’s wrong with you? Have you never had an education? Never learned about blindness and never learned about contamination through contagious diseases?” But I don’t say that. Everyone here already hates me, what good would saying something like that do? They’d most likely kick me out of Amiel. Where would I go?

#

I am now out. I have no home, nowhere to live. I asked some of my old friends if they could take me in, but they outright refused me. The citizens of Ameil have the misconception that because I’m blind, I can’t see what happens and sense emotions. They couldn’t be more wrong. I can tell what happens through sound. I can sense emotions from the rise and fall of someone’s voice. I know what goes on.

The reason that no one wanted me was because of another misconception that I can’t be productive. Not true. I know how to type, and I know how to write. I know how to play the piano and I know how to cook, as long as the ingredients are in front of me and I know which is which. I can read braille and am an expert in giving speeches. I know a lot of things, but no one thinks I can do anything. They’ve forgotten who was valedictorian in our graduation. My classmates have forgotten how they even passed their classes. They’ve forgotten the truth about me, that I can see. I can see the stars and mountains. I can see how they look, relying on my imagination. I can see the sky and many colors. But they forget all that. Like they have memory loss. Or because they can see. How something looks at a time and examining changes and colors. That, I can’t see.

 #

My eyes can notice the light and react to it. As far as I know, other blind people can’t see this much. But I would have zero knowledge about that. It’s useful as I know where light is coming from and sometimes, people light up a specific area to signal that I should walk in that direction. It useful now that I’m alone and sitting by a lamppost at the edge of town, as I know when it’s day or night. Not noticeably, but vaguely. I know the direction of the mountains and I long to go there, but my ability to see light doesn’t help with that. But my wishes do not matter. What I need to do is help myself. Paying heed to my duty is more important than seeing the stars again or any other wishes. I must do what’s right and that, unfortunately, is not what I want. If I dig deep down into myself, I know that I want more than my life of wandering, without sight at that. I want more, but that's not what I need and definitely not what I will have. So my options, in a nutshell, are: Work for the life I want and ruin my current life in the process or try to work with this life. And I’m choosing the one I don’t want.

No one wants their parents to abandon them, and no one wants the knowledge of that. I don’t. My entire life I’ve dreaded being alone to fend for myself, when I can’t see. I’m alone.

I’m walking to Everton, a colossal city about 15 kilometers from Ameil. It's hard because I’ve never walked for over 5 kilometers. And I’m blind. But, I can do it or someone that I meet on the way helps me. I’m hoping that once I’m in Everton, I can get some job. I am smart and have amazing hearing. I’m counting on getting a job, it’s the only way I know I’ll survive.

#

Today, I noticed someone flash the SOS signal from their phone. By instinct, I wanted to help this person. I couldn’t sense anyone else nearby or if they were, they were quiet, had no smell, and gave off nobody heat. So, it was up to me.

Moving over to him or her, I asked what was wrong. She was groaning in pain and coughed up blood. I had some water in my backpack ,so I gave her a sip. She licked her lips and told me that she was walking home when someone threw a stone at her, causing her to fall onto a pile of broken glass and nails. She somehow activated the SOS flash on her phone before it died. “Oh, no! How can I help?” I asked. “Do you have a phone?” I told her I didn’t. “OK. Here’s what you can do.” She told me I could go to an enormous mansion two blocks down, go through the back door and ask for Michaela Brav. That posed a problem. She didn’t know that I’m blind. I didn’t want to tell her that and risk her saying that I couldn’t help her.

I ended up telling her that I’m blind, but I can see light. She did what I thought she would and told me to go away and do what I wanted. I refused to go away because that would be selfishness in its purest form. “Wait! Why didn’t this come to my mind before?” She laughed and then coughed. She asked me to use my light abilities to go to the nearest house and ask for an ambulance. I did as requested while she guided my steps. The ambulance came, and the doctors admitted her for surgery and stitches. They asked me to stay with her because they required someone to stay with surgery patients, especially comatose ones. She had become unconscious during our trip to the hospital. I stayed with her for the entirety of her admission and we became friends. I found out that her name was Estelle, and she loved traveling. But it wasn’t until she was getting discharged and had to fill out her details that I realized she was Estelle Meyner, the richest person in Kossland, our country. Why wasn’t she in Keimel, our capital city, and where she lived? Then again, the world is full of contemplations.

#

Estelle has requested me to live with her. She’s so grateful to me for saving her life, which wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t there. She’s thanked me many times already, and I’m sure she’s not done. But I want to live without constantly needing support from others. If only I could do that and live life the way I want to. If only I could see something, anything, other than light. If only I could help more people. If only I could become a psychologist to help people like me. People who have rough experiences and need help. If only I could tell them that as per my experience, things get better. 

Today Estelle said, “Destiny, I want to help you. In any way that you want. You could go to college. You could get a job. You could go back to Ameil. You could travel the world. Whatever you want.” I opened my mouth, ready to turn down the offer. But she contradicted me before I could say a word. 

“But don’t you even think of refusing me! I have all this money and nothing to do with it. Let me help you. You deserve it, Destiny. You are worthy of it.” We sat down.

“But, Estelle, you should be spending that money on orphaned children and poor homeless people!” I still couldn’t understand why she would give it to me. “Don’t you see? That’s exactly what you are. Not a child anymore, and not an orphan. But your parents abandoned you and you are homeless. Just accept my offer. It will do you good.” “All right. I want to be a psychologist. I want to help people through my story of being abandoned and blind and then improving my life. If you could help……” 

“Yay!” She clapped her hands. “But first, we’re going to an ophthalmologist. The best in the country is in Keimel, so tomorrow we hop on a plane there. You may be blind, but it happened when you fell off a mountain and caused damage to your optic nerve, right?” I nodded. “And you can still perceive light. Those are my hopes. I’m hoping one surgery or some glasses can help. Get ready for tomorrow!” I sensed the smile in her voice and summoned a smile on my face. I was excited, but I’d never been outside Ameil. I had to use all my courage to come to Everton. How could I go to Keimel? Don’t get me wrong, I would love my eyesight back. But if that could happen in Everton, I’d be grateful. 

#

We went to Keimel, and all my fears and preconceived notions disappeared. The feeling of being on a plane and flying over Kossland was immeasurable. I felt like I was on top of the world. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t see the plane, or the views from the top. The point was, I knew. It doesn’t matter what a person feels as long as they know the truth. That’s essentially what’s important. We visited Dr. Brentman, the world-renowned ophthalmologist. He gave me powerful glasses to help put the light in focus and improve my sight as best as possible. He also said that they can fix my optic nerve with surgery. Estelle made an appointment for the best neurosurgeon in Kossland. So, I’m having surgery in two weeks within which, I should try to exercise my eyes and wear my glasses to have the best sight possible in case the surgery fails.

#

My surgery is tomorrow. I’m scared. I’m scared I will lose my ability to see light. I’m scared that my parents will never accept me as a blind person. It’s no parent’s dream to have a daughter who can’t see anything. No parent dreams of a child who disgraces them. No parent wants a daughter like me. 

#

Today’s the day. Today, I have my surgery. With any luck, I’ll be able to see the world through a bit of blur. And with no luck, I’ll never be able to see. Estelle wished me to have the best of luck. She really is the best friend I could have ever asked for.

My surgeon is Dr. Weinman. From his voice, I’m guessing he’s in his 50s. I will be anesthetized and will feel no pan. At least that’s what Dr. Weinman said. What is anesthesia? Anyways, here goes!

Apparently, anesthesia makes me fall asleep so I can’t feel a thing. It was a weird feeling, sleeping without my body allowing it. The good news? I can see! The world looks a little blurry, so I will need to wear contact lenses or glasses for the rest of my life, but that sacrifice is worth it. Definitely worth it. My sight will constantly improve over the next few months or years as long as I take care of my eyes. That, I can do. Now, I can study to be a psychologist, and I can help people. Potentially save their lives.

I have Estelle to thank for all this. For my returned sight. For my ability to change people’s lives. And I hope my parents will accept me. Accept me as their daughter. As their own. 

My sight is improving, and it’s been amazing to see Keimel. I don’t understand why I ever had any qualms about coming here. It’s wonderful! It’s so enormous and the SKYSCRAPERS! The huge skyscrapers! They seem to be as tall as a thousand Me’s. I love it here. Maybe someday Estelle and I can travel the world, like she suggested. It would be the time of my life.

#

I am a student of Havensheild university. Estelle paid my fees, but it took her a month to convince me to let her do so. I guess everything turned out better than I ever expected. I thought that I would have to live my life as a blind wanderer, abandoned by her family. But look at where I ended up. Friends with a billionaire and a student in psychology at Havensheild, the best university in the world. Could things get any better? No. No, they couldn’t. At least as far as I know. 

#

I have this nagging guilt over my parents. It’s that, now I can see. In four years, I’ll be a graduate student in psychology. I want to visit Ameil again. I want to see the mountains and the way the stars shine on them. I want to see my parents. I want to forgive them. But do they want to see me? Do they seek forgiveness? All these questions and I don’t have a single answer for them.

Estelle told me to go back. But I’m not sure. I don’t know their number because I just got a phone. So asking them is out of the question. I don’t know if they will accept me. I don’t know if they will still hate me how they did before. There’s no way for me to know this.

#

So, I ended up coming back. I came, went to my parent’s house and rang the doorbell. My mother opened the door, father trailing close behind her. She then fell to her knees, sobbing. My father hugged me, whispering, “I’m sorry, Destiny. I’m so sorry.” Finally, they calmed down, and we sat in the living room.

“Why did you come back to us?” My mother asked. “I wanted to forgive you. You deserve it. It’s not your fault that you had no way to provide for me.” “Why are you wearing glasses?” my father asked, “It’s a long story.” I told them how I went to Everton and met Estelle. I told them how I saved her and Estelle had me get a surgery. I told them how I'm a student in psychology at Havensheild.

When I finished, “Wow, you have had quite an adventure in five months. We missed you, Destiny. If it’s all right with you, could we keep in touch?” mother asked. In reply, I hugged her. “Of course, Mother.” 

They asked me to stay, but I had to go back. We said our goodbyes, and I called a taxi. “To Everton airport, please,” I told the driver. As he drove out of Ameil and past the mountains, I felt an urging sensation to go up the mountain. It was nighttime, and the stars were out. I asked him to stop, and to let me climb up a hill. It’s a beautiful sight. A humbling sight. It reminds me that I lived 18 years without sight. It reminds me that whenever I’m in Ameil, I can always look up to the mountains.

 The stars shine in the sky, giving mercy for all us evildoers and handicapped people.

I look up to the mountains and see stars.

July 24, 2020 13:24

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2 comments

Afsar Shariff
12:54 Sep 07, 2020

Too touchy ....

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Tella Cartley
03:48 Sep 08, 2020

🤔🤨😶😑

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