The Vessel

I need to wash the blood off. I need to get rid of her. I need to forget that any of this has happened.  

I stare down at her. Her body awkwardly sprawled, as if it had fallen and never found peace. Her once flawless skin had taken on a bluish-gray hue under the fading light, giving her an otherworldly appearance. What looked to be blacken roots began to engorge her skin. A once-vibrant face was now hollowed and slack, lips slightly parted, as if caught mid-sentence. Tendrils of a black mist enveloped her body. Covering her until she was as black as a shadow. My beautiful girlfriend laying before me is gone, and it’s all my fault.

The surrounding air felt heavier, like the space had absorbed the last moments of life, trapping it in silence. Dust motes floated lazily through a beam of moonlight that barely reached the four corners. 

Blackened candles at each point of the ritual space, their melted wax pooling like dark blood. The faint scent of sulfur and burnt herbs clung to the air, mingling with the mildew that had claimed the rest of the house. 

Scattered around the room, the remnants of the ritual tools lay in disarray. A ceremonial cup, a thick, leather-bound book scrawled with ancient symbols, and a pitchfork that I found on the property. 

I’ve done it. I’ve completed the ritual. Taken her away from this world to prove that I am completely devoted to this entity. Just like it wanted. In return, I ask to gain back what I once lost. That feeling of being whole. Of being in control of my mind. To feel human again.  

It all happened four months ago. I never fully recovered from the car accident. The sounds and smells always returned in vivid detail when I am alone: the screeching tires, the deafening crash of metal against metal, the shattering of glass like a thousand tiny explosions. And worse, the silence that followed, an eerie stillness that wrapped around me after the impact. 

Until it appeared. The sweet sounds of another soul floating around my injured body, comforting me when no one came. The familiar touch of a loved one. A sense of security. 

“Stay with me sweet child and you shall receive what you want the most.” The entity recited in my coma-induced mind.  

“I can tell that you notice me, even in the dark,” it would mockingly state during my depressive episodes at night, months after the accident. 

“Don’t you try to look away from me!” Seeming almost jealous when I was with my girlfriend.  

“I can give you everything you desire.” It stated at all hours of the day for weeks on end.  

Giving into the entities torment, “what do I most desire?” I had finally asked aloud. 

“To be loved. To be whole. To be needed.” It whispered across my mind. “I can feel your wrath and your pain. I was there when you were running with death. She was not. Your family was no where. No. One. Cares. For. You…but I do.” 

“But I have her,” I replied. 

“Does she understand what your mind holds? Or are you too scared to let her in?” The entity would taunt. 

“Why are you doing this to me? I didn’t ask for you. I don’t even know what you are!” I had exclaimed.  

Its familiar tone turned sinister, “but you did follower. In the darkest depths of your mind, you wanted me. You begged for me. What you didn’t know is that I have always been with you. I come alive during your darkest thoughts and fight your demons. Follow you beside your shadow during the day, and present myself during the night. I prevent you from further hurting yourself. From further destroying your mind. I reduce your anxiety, your depression, your wrath. Because I need you.”

“You need me?” I asked confusingly. A sense of dread overcoming me. 

“You are my missing piece. The one who has accepted me when others would not. I can see our future together.” The entity stated. 

“B-but I don’t need you. I have never needed you.” I rebutted. 

A stillness echoed around me. The brooding presence cocooned my senses. “Then let’s see how long you last.” 

It started as a low tremor, deep in my chest, like a distant storm rolling closer. My heart pounded, quickening with every second. It was fear. It was something darker, more primal, something that had been buried so long it had become part of me. My hands clenched into fists, my breath coming in sharp, uneven bursts. 

And then it hit - an explosion of emotion that ripped through my mind like wildfire. Rage, despair, grief - emotions I hadn’t experienced since that night, all surging up at once, raw and violent. My legs gave out and I collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath as the wave consumed me. I felt it like a physical force, my body shaking under the weight of it, tears burning in my eyes though I wasn’t sure why I was crying. The once healed scars on my arms now reopening. Hot sticky blood falling around me. 

My chest ached, as if the release of it all was tearing me apart from the inside. The entity, the thing that had repressed this storm, was gone. I could feel its absence like a void, a space that had once held me together, now ripped open and spilling my darkest emotions into the world. 

For a moment, it was unbearable. I thought it might consume me completely, that I might drown in the flood of it. But then, slowly, the intensity began to ebb. The emotions didn’t disappear - they were still there, swirling beneath the surface - the overwhelming torrent began to subside, leaving me spent, broken, and empty. 

“Come back, please,” I cried. 

I laid on the cold floor, chest heaving, my body limp with exhaustion. 

“It will not be that simple,” the entity’s voice was not in my mind, but all around me instead. It was in the room with me. I looked frantically around until I saw it.  

In the dim, oppressive gloom of the room, the entity stood towering over my body. It’s crimson eyes burned like molten embers, glowing from within the entity’s formless, smoky visage, piercing through the darkness with an intensity that made the air crackle with malevolent energy. The jagged grin below its eyes stretched impossibly wide, revealing rows of needle-sharp teeth, twisted in a perpetual sneer, as though it fed on fear itself. 

The entity exuded a timeless hunger, an insidious force that drew everything around it into its dark embrace. It wasn’t just the size or the unnatural form that made it terrifying - it was the way it loomed over me, the way it seemed to control every breath I took, every thought I dared not speak. I could see vines attached to my shadow, they were extensions of the entity itself, feeding on my despair, channeling all the fear and hopelessness that it repressed. 

Tears were streaming down my face. An ethereal pain grew the longer the entity looked at me. 

“P-please stop. I’ll do anything,” I cried. 

The vines began to retreat towards the entity as it swooped closer to my face. 

“I don’t believe you,” it hissed and continued the torture. 

A scream ripped from my throat, “why me? Why do you want me?”

“Your inner demons are what I feast on. If I am not in your mind, then the demons run rampant, and I slowly cease to exist. Without me there is no you. You will not survive long in this state. So follower, will you do as I ask or will die on this floor alone swallowed by your own fear? No one knows you are here. A better question, would someone care and wonder where you are?” It crawled over my numb frame. 

I strained my voice, “what do you want me to do?” 

“Provide an offering and I shall judge whether it is worthy.” It replied. 

“What kind of offering?” I asked. 

“One that you cannot live without.” It whispered. “Be quick follower, you do not have long till you see the reaper. Use this text to fulfill the ritual and we shall see if you are worthy.”

“Then I will be whole again? Be able to not feel these thoughts? These feelings? They will be gone?” I begged. 

But it was gone. Leaving me to endure the pain, the racing thoughts, the panic attacks. I was alone, and I knew what my offering was.  

She was my offering. The most joyous aspect of my life. The one person who saw me as I was and grounded me when I needed it. However, she couldn’t help with my mind and I didn’t want her to endure my pain. To experience this torture and feel like she was responsible. She couldn’t fix me, but the entity could. It had already shown me my dependency for it. And it was right, I couldn’t live like this for long. 

I have given the entity what it wanted. I had shown that I am loyal and that I can be trusted. 

Except, something wasn’t right. I didn’t feel a change. There was no lightness in my mind like before. A mixture of fear and dread flooded my senses. 

A shadow crept over me like a living thing, silent and deliberate. It moved with a terrifying slowness, wisps of darkness stretching out from the corners of the room, merging with my own shadow and swallowing it whole. I watched as my own shadow seemed to have a life of its own. Scrambling and clawing itself away from the entity. My heart rate quickened. I could feel what my shadow was feeling. Could feel the pain of muscles tearing, my bones breaking. 

The edges of my vision darkened, the room around me fading, and panic consumed my chest. It was devouring me. I could feel every pore being closed, pulling me inward like I was being absorbed. 

I could feel it now, something alive within the entity. Its presence pressed against my mind, pushing, probing, wrapping around my thoughts. This was different than before. My heart pounded, desperate to escape, but my body wouldn’t obey my commands. The blackness crawled in my chest, coiled around my ribs, squeezing the breath from me. I could barely feel my fingers, my toes. I look down, they were black. My chest, legs, and arms were black. Just like hers. Is this what she felt before she passed? 

The entity reached my throat. “I did what you asked!” I hoarsely reply. 

“You did well follower,” the entity hissed. “However, I am not your keeper. I am hers. Your beloved offering.” 

My mind started to unravel, pieces of me slipping away, memories fragmenting like broken glass. 

“I-I don’t understand. Where is my keeper?” The words coming out slowly. I could feel my soul being crushed. 

“I have consumed yours.” The keeper’s voice slithered across my skin. “And now I shall consume you.” 

Tears began to flow down my face. My body started to become cold. Regret and despair flowed through me. Images of my girlfriend flooded me, bringing forth small bits of joy before my last moments. This wasn’t suppose to happen. This wasn’t the deal. There was nothing I could do though. I can’t bring her back. Can’t convince her to stay with me at home instead of coming here. Can’t erase the image of her scared face as I held the pitchfork. 

“C-can you still talk to her?” I asked the keeper. It stilled, waiting for another response. 

“Tell her that I love her.” I weakly say. “And that I am so sorry.” Not sure if it really matters. Just saying it one last time gave me a sense of relief. 

“You don’t really love me; you just hate to be alone.” The keeper replied with the voice of my girlfriend. 

Its large mouth covered my head and the world went black.