The List for a (Un)Happy Life

Trigger warnings: Drinking, implied violence, language

The List for a (Un)Happy Life

EVIDENCE PG. 1

December 10th

-         Reserve spot at that restaurant for our 4^th anniversary

-         Call Nina’s parents for blessing.

-         New Year’s Resolutions?

o  We’ll be engaged finally. Maybe we can have a fall wedding. Nina has always loved the fall. It could be outdoors, She would look so beautiful surrounded by orange and red leaves.

§ TLDR: Marry Nina SCREW THIS (Dec. 31)

o  Buy house for us to start our family in.

o  Maybe we could get a dog, or a cat. Maybe both.

o  Figure out the rest later, I’ve got a few weeks to get around to all this.

December 27th

-         Don’t forget to bring ring to dinner.

-         Pick Nina up @ 6:00.

-         This is silly, but I’m making a note here. I know it’s been four years, maybe I should’ve done this sooner. You still make me so nervous, and so happy every single day we’ve been together. 

-         Tell her how you feel, what you wrote above. She’s going to say yes. It’s been four years. If she wasn’t going to say yes, she would’ve already left right? Tell her.

-         Talk to the waiter when Nina leaves the table, make sure he has things ready for the proposal. He’s the same one that we had on our first date. This is so perfect.

o  This went so well. She was so surprised, and she did say yes, and the waiter even gave us free drinks. A lot of free drinks. He really seemed to like us. HER YOU IDIOT, HE LIKED HER. NOT YOU. GOD YOU'RE SO STUPID.

EVIDENCE PG. 2

December 30^th

-         Text Nina. Working late today, be home by 9:30.

o  Next 2 days off, find a place to watch fireworks at. Best New Year's Eve ever, first one officially engaged.

-         Boss was nice enough to let me go at 6:00. Surprise Nina with Chinese takeout from our favorite little hole in the wall.

o  Better idea. I found a recipe I can finally try out. Should be a quick trip to the store.

§ Cornstarch

§ Sesame oil

§ Chicken, preferably breast, skinless, definitely boneless.

§ Cooking wine. Actually, scratch that. Not necessary.

§ Oil (should already have at home.)

§ Kosher salt (I mean it’s salt. I don’t know what the difference is. We have salt, but not kosher. Just get it, Mark. We’re doing this perfectly.

§ Baking soda (Do I already have this? Better safe than sorry.)

§ Soy sauce

§ Sugar.

§ Sesame oil (toasted? Can you…toast oil?)

§ Broccoli, carrots

§ Eggs (We should still have like 6 at home, should be good on that front.)

§ Plastic gloves. Do not feel like touching raw meat and pretty sure we’re out. This was very helpful. You didn't even know, but good thinking ahead -- Your buddy, drunk Mark.

-         Got home and lights were out. Figured I’d go in quietly in case she was napping. She would be surprised when she woke up. Assuming I cook it all correctly.

o  Let’s surprise Mark. Let’s really turn that around. Let’s make as much noise upstairs, in OUR bed, OUR room. Oh, hey Mr. Waiter, with my fiancé, the one you helped me propose to. 

§ Find out this has been going on for over a year. She loves me, it was an accident, a mistake. A mistake that happened for over a year. Chronic mistake. How dumb did she think I was? Or did she just think I was desperate? Four years I spent on this. Four. Years. And for what? For her to just throw it all away in one night? No, I guess it wasn't one night, was it?  

-         Get hotel room for night. I can’t do this tonight. Tomorrow will be better. It has to be better.

o  Shocker Mark, tomorrow wasn’t better. How could it be better when they ruined your life, your future? It's okay though, we're going to make it better. Leave it to me. - Not Sober You ;)

EVIDENCE PG 3

December 31^st/January 1st

-         New Year’s Resolutions for a better year without you in it.

o  Move on. We deserve better. 

o  Throw out Nina’s shit.

o  What if we could get back at them, hurt them like they hurt us. 

§ Okay, I took a walk. And a drink. I know this isn’t healthy. Don’t do anything stupid that you’ll regret. 

·        Hey Mark, drunk you here. We’ve had…a lot tonight. But I think we’re going to be okay. We just got back from the store. I made a list for us. I know we like our lists. I’m a bit tired, but determined. But if I pass out at some point, please make sure the rest is finished. Counting on you. I think we're good, buddy. I've stayed surprisingly conscious.

o  Store—different stores obviously

§ Bleach

§ On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t be listing this. Moving on. Wish this weren’t in ink. For future reference, Mark, we should buy some pencils.

§ More beer.

§ Pencils.

·        Shit, I forgot the pencils. I thought lists were supposed to help with things like that. Well hey, I got the alcohol. Don’t tell anyone, but we’re about to drive over to the waiter’s place. I don’t know if you remember, but we might have done some lite social media stalking when we started getting our buzz. Don’t worry though, I’m fine to drive, probably.

o  Update: Nina’s car is here.

§ Update 2: Nina was asleep. She’s a hard sleeper. Waiter boy was up though, in his boxers, getting a late-night snack.

§ Mark, don’t overreact, but we’ve come too far now. Waiter boy is no longer up. He’s down. Very down. It’s okay though. We didn’t do anything. Nina, on the other hand. Well, she should have the weapon in bed with her, fingerprints and all. I think I got ours off. I did. I got ours off. I’m driving home now.

-         You’ll be proud of me Mark, I didn’t drive. I don’t think I’m able to do it safely. See, we’re fine when we’re like this. No worries. Just make sure you get the car in the morning.

o  My bad, I realized we were farther from home than I thought. Did you know this was a thirty-minute drive?

§ Okay, don’t freak out, but there are lights behind us, the bad kind. I’ve pulled over. We’ll get a DUI, but that’s all. I’m hiding this under the seat. We’ll be fine. I promise.

o  Okay, last thing, kinda weird. Cop shined the light in my eyes, but also at my hands and shirt. Don't be mad, but I think he saw something. I tried telling him I just had a messy night out. He told me not to go anywhere though. I hear a lot of chatter from his radio. He hasn't gone back to his car. I'm getting nervous. We're fine though. We're going to be fine. Trust me. Trust--------