New beginnings

As Rachel carried the last of her ridiculously heavy boxes containing all her favourite books including a very heavy compendium of the works of Shakespeare, up to the third floor, she let out a sigh as she looked at the horrendous state of her new room. How were landlords allowed to let this sort of rubbish? The tired stained grey carpet, a single bulb dangling from the ceiling and the whiff of mildew coming from somewhere. She couldn’t believe £400 a month didn’t even guarantee you blinds or curtains. What a shocker. Why had she traded the inspiring views of beautiful, unspoiled roman crescents with a seasoning of lush green hills for this: a noisy, dirty road serving the entrance to the home of one of the World's leading educational institutes? Surely those impressive minds could have had a word with the local town planners. This was the other side to Oxford she hadn't experienced as a student. Still, she needed to tuck that snobbery away or she'd feel really depressed.

She could hear Rory huffing impatiently and shaking his car keys which meant he was probably eager to head off. ‘Why don’t we go for a nice dinner? What about the fantastic Jamaican restaurant where the owner insisted you pay what you can afford? Do you remember?’ Her slightly begging tones fell on deaf ears as Rory fobbed her off with some story about how it was going to be dark soon and he didn’t like driving at night. With that he gave her an awkwardly removed look, kissed her on the cheek and said he would email her in the morning.

Right, Rachel thought. What do I do now? It’s not like I can call anyone up to head out for a beer as I don’t know anyone locally anymore. Despite working for the University press, she hadn’t really developed any friendships at work. Getting the train from Bath to Oxford every day and with all the associated train disruption meant Rachel felt she had to get her head down once at work, work through lunch and not partake in the many social activities with colleagues. After quite a few dismissals of lunches/ tennis at lunch/after work drinks, the invites had stopped coming. She popped downstairs to find the phone and called her parents at home in Dorset. She’s rather be there with the peace and tranquility of the surroundings and her dog Bertie.

‘Hi mummy, it’s Rachel’.

‘oh darling, how lovely! can I call you back…we’re just about to take Bertie for a walk? All ok?’

’ Yes, all fine mum just checking in from my new abode!’

‘How lovely to be back in Oxford. Honestly Rachel what I’d give to be in my prime again, Oxbridge degree in the bag, a few notches on the bedpost and an exciting publishing career for now until you become a bestselling author.

‘Mummy! Well, I suppose when you put it like that’

’sorry darling, Bertie is tugging the lead. Speak later!’

Rachel felt a bit dumbfounded that even her mum didn’t have time to speak to her, so she spent what felt like an hour, staring into space, thinking about her former home, her beautiful Georgian apartment with tasteful soft furnishings she had carefully found. Anything would be better than this down at heel room which was decidedly drafty and lacking any semblance of character.

She thought she heard a voice in the kitchen so headed downstairs to make a cuppa and presumably meet one of her three new housemates. She was greeted by a very smiley petite girl who resembled one of the Charlie Brown characters with her simple clothing and immaculate bob haircut.

‘Hi, I’m Cathy, how are you?’ Can I make you a brew?’

‘Yes, thank you, that would be amazing’. said Rachel, clutching to any semblance of kindness.

‘Sarah mentioned you were living in Bath but commuting to work in Oxford? That must have been tiring.’

‘Yes, it wasn’t great certainly in the summer months or in fact any time of year. I love Bath and Oxford, but the commute got too much. How long have you lived here?’

‘About 6 months but I’ll be moving out in a few months as I’ll be finding a place to live with my boyfriend. Are you with anyone?

Rachel paused…’Yes, I have someone in Bath. We were living together but his job is in Bath and well mine is here.'

Cathy could see a lost look on Rachel's face and so tried to offer some comfort ‘Well absence makes the heart grow fonder. I’m sure he’ll miss you so much, he’ll apply for a job in Oxford so you can be together. Help yourself to a chocolate brownie or three. I got

carried away with my baking this afternoon.’

Rachel felt she had to hold back a tear in response to such kindness.

‘Yes hopefully. Right, I had better head upstairs and finish unpacking’.

After a restless night's sleep, feeling cold at times and disturbed by the noise of the road, Rachel got up at 6am, party woken by the light beaming in from her uncovered windows. She made a coffee, had a sip and a protein bar, and headed out for a run. She loved running, focusing on how strong she was physically when not always mentally was such a soother. Putting on some of her favourite music and feeling nature envelop her with a warm hug was such a tonic. It was the closest she had to some sort of contact now and was exactly what she needed. Her mind was full of questions about her relationship with Rory and mostly the thought of justifying this move to friends and family and even the odd work colleague. She knew she would get lots of pitiful responses especially from her closest friend Lucy. She found herself asking the same questions. Who moves in together but then moves out but stays together? Wasn’t this stage meant to be on some sort of upward trajectory? It was driving her crazy, so she just tried to focus on the quiet surroundings of the city so early in the day. She ran down St Aldate's and turned left into Christ Church meadows and felt as if she was instantly transported back to those amazing student days and the countless occasions spent punting on the river and trying not to fall in after too many cocktails. She thought of her gang of male friends and how they had always considered her an ‘honorary lad’. She loved their company and knew they loved her. It also helped that Rachel was quite ‘easy on the eye’. She never really thought much about her appearance, and in fact she had never received any attention from the opposite sex growing up as she was always so 'awkward' according to various family members but as she gained her place at college, her self- confidence grew, as well as her outward bloom. She was already looking forward to their next ‘lads’ holiday. The last one had been a ski trip to Courchevel which had been so amazing. Although it was her first ever ski trip, she had loved it and had taken to skiing very quickly. She loved that feeling of being outdoors all day, returning in the late afternoon for tea and cake to a beautiful lodge where a delicious 3 course meal and bucket loads of wine were served each evening. Although Rory was less than attentive and on occasion a complete wanker with her on the slopes, he turned on the charm when they entered their bedroom and Rachel found that they were having the best sex of their relationship.

Later that morning, sipping a latte over a new book proposal, she received a brief email from Rory.

‘Bunny, shall I head to Oxford on Saturday. We could go for a nice walk in Port meadow. Maybe take a picnic?’

Rachel was taken back by the softness in his email. Well, that sounds like someone has been missing me.

After a very peaceful run in the meadows again that morning, she meandered through Jericho feeling quite upbeat and lost in the beauty of the architecture on her walk from the Abingdon road. On entering the cafe, she found him tucked in a very secluded area sipping a green tea. When he saw Rachel had arrived, his face seemed to go flush and he had that annoying glint in his eye, she knew and had found hard to handle when he was about to say something that would really piss her off.

‘What’s wrong?’ Rachel said, ‘Shall we grab a takeaway and head for to Port Meadow for a walk?’

‘Yes, sounds good.’

As they reached the beautiful expanse of the meadow, Rory suggested they sit down for a moment. Rachel thought she may be in for a bit of physical contact and maybe a bit of cheeky outdoor sex so when Rory started saying ‘I’m sorry Rachel. I don’t know how to say this, but I have met someone’

‘what! Who? Have I met her?’

‘No, you haven’t. She’s a friend of Eduardo. In the months before Rachel had left Bath, Rory had started Spanish lessons with Eduardo, and she was completely suspicious that he was on the prowl for some hot Penelope Cruz lookalike. She should have known. Rory was a real catch, 1st class degree from Oxford, Oxford Blue for rugby and incredibly chiseled. The first time she saw him naked, she was so self-conscious as she felt as if she was in the presence of an Adonis.

‘and well, I am meeting her later. I’m sorry I just didn’t want to do this on the phone, after all we’ve been through together and I still really care about you. To be honest, I have never really felt I’ve been good enough for you…you’re just so classy and stunningly beautiful as well as a good person…I just don’t think it’s right. I think you need someone a lot more mature than me.’

Rachel was completely inconsolable. She felt as if she’d never be able to stop crying. When Rory trying to put his arm around her, she moved away and said, ‘you better be getting your train then’.

Rachel felt so worn with loneliness as she left Rory and couldn’t stop crying all the way home. She entered her horrible house and headed straight upstairs to climb into her pokey single bed.

She was quieter than usual at work that week but stayed on a bit longer each evening so she could delay going home and delay any encounters with her housemates. They were all very well meaning and sweet in their own ways, but she wasn’t ready to open. She felt like such a failure.

As the weekend approached and she had a completely empty calendar all on her own, she received a text from their mutual friend Callum.

‘Rach, I’m really sorry about you and Rory’. Callum was a complete clown but as a Pediatrician and brother to six sisters, he certainly understood women and had a heart of gold.

‘Thanks Callum, I’m just feeling very sad and lonely.’

‘Well, I know a very friendly Dr who would happily take your clothes off and give you a diagnosis’.

Trust Callum to be completely inappropriate but she appreciated the flirty gesture when she felt so low and undesirable.

‘Listen Rach, what are you up to this weekend? How would you feel if ‘we’…your inappropriate male friends come and whisk you off? Eddie has his dad’s longboat for the weekend and wondered if you wanted to join us. We promise we won’t all try to sleep with you…well not all at once? Well promise not promise.’

Rachel didn’t even have to think ‘of course, you’ve saved me from a weekend of overdosing on chocolate cookies from the covered market and Bridget Jones films.

On Saturday lunchtime, the doorbell rang, and she opened the door to a beaming, infectiously giggly, tall dark and handsome Callum. He lunged at Rachel and covered her with kisses ‘Hello gorgeous, come here for a snog’.

She couldn’t help but fall into his arms snorting with laughter. Like a true gent, he took her bag and they drove to Goring to pick up the boat. Rachel squeaked with delight as she saw Eddie, Paul, Jonathan, and Dave. Her boys. They were all basking in the glorious late Summer sun, jumping in the river, and enjoying beers and what looked like BBQ ribs and biltong. Lots of kisses and cuddles ensued and lots of naughty banter about what they planned to do with her later that evening, but she didn’t mind. She loved the attention.

As they sailed along to Pangbourne, passing beautiful villages and lots of waves from walkers and cyclists enjoying the beautiful evening sun, they discussed where to stop for pre-dinner drinks and dinner and Eddie said he had stopped at the next lock-gates, near wittenham clumps where there was a lovely boathouse serving hearty meals…’lots of game and what not’ which to Rachel sounded heavenly. She couldn’t remember when she had last had a proper meal as her appetite had withered this past week and she couldn’t be bothered to cook for herself.

They all enjoyed a lovely meal and then sat on the boat that evening discussing all their love lives.

’you see Rachel, you’re not the only one who is unlucky in love.’ Paul started in his dry humorous way…

’As I’m such a busy chap and obviously in demand by the opposite sex, I find it useful to send a few messages ahead of meeting them, so I don’t waste my time. I usually ask: Paris of Rome? Stravinsky or Mozart? Put out or not put out on a first date? I find that usually stops me wasting me

time.’

Paul then went on to regale some very funny tales about dating in London and being introduced to lots of successful high- flying women who lived for their jobs as fund managers but then seemed completely incapable at navigating a fun date. 

as everyone shared their dating from hell stories, Eddie was very quiet. Eddie had been dating a lovely chef for the past couple of years and although she hadn’t appeared on any of their lads get togethers, everyone assumed they were happy. Rachel was always quite secretly pleased when Clara hadn’t joined them as she found she enjoyed the often intense, tactile interactions with Eddie. There had been one occasion where they had been at a college friends party last summer and there was a bouncy castle in the garden. Eddie and Rachel had stayed on it until the early hours of the morning and Eddie constantly felt the need to push Rachel to the ground so he could pin her down and stare intensely into her eyes. There had been countless encounters like this and quite often the others referred to her as Eddie’s real girlfriend.

they all descended into the boat and found their sleeping spots…Rachel received a few requests to cuddle up but instead found her own space on the kitchen floor.

The next morning, the beautiful late summer sun continued which helped to ease the pounding in everyone’s heads. As she bid farewell to everyone who were slightly worse for wear, she was a bit taken back by Eddie who didn’t look her in the eye as she left. Had she done something wrong? As she took the short train journey home, she felt thoroughly boosted from the weekend’s activities. It had been wonderful to have such a boost from such gorgeous, successful chaps. Her mind turned to Eddie and how she was disappointed not to get a hug from him before leaving. She put it down to a hangover and thought about focusing on herself and her own writing this week. It was time to focus on herself and get the notepad out again.

Later in the week, she was upstairs in her room which she was starting to accessorize nicely, when Cathy called up to her ‘Rachel, you have a phone call’.

As she picked up the phone, she heard a familiar voice. ‘Hey gorgeous!’. It was Eddie. ‘I wondered if you were free this Saturday so I could come and see you in Oxford and give you that hug’.