Under the Red Clock

Andrew was desperately in love with Mateo, and it had only been nineteen days since they had first met in the quaint but bustling little deli that had just opened. Only nineteen days but it somehow felt like years. He rapped his fingertips across the top of the two person table, and stared up at the large red clock perched on the wall above it, the one they had eaten at together for eighteen previous days. Mateo was late and he was getting impatient and a little nervous. It was a little more than that though, it was desperation. Desperation to see his love and embrace him now that he would truly be his. How could he be so in love? He barely knew the man, but he knew what he felt, and now they would officially be together

Nineteen days earlier Andrew decided to check out the new deli two blocks from his office that had opened the week before. He was looking forward to a new place and he could theoretically take as long as he wanted, he made his own schedule. Everyone was raving about this place, and even though he didn't care for most cold cuts or hot dogs, he enjoyed a good pastrami on rye. The place had a somewhat rustic feel, but seemingly without a true theme. There were wooden barrels full of pickles, and old fashioned soda fountain, and different vintage style decorations adorned the walls. When his number was called he grabbed his food and began looking for a place to sit and eat. No empty seats. He hadn't realized when he first walked in, but the place was jam-packed. It shouldn't have been surprising, it was a brand new place at peak lunch hour. He would just have to walk back to his office and eat there.

"Hey man there's a spot here."

Someone must have just left, there was now an open spot at a table for two, hanging on the wall above it was a big gawdy red clock. It was kind of strange, sharing a two person table with a complete stranger, but it was the only seat available, and, he thought, this guy was kind of cute.

That first day they didn't talk much. He learned the mans name was Mateo and that he was an artist who had a studio just two doors down. He said that he had a bad habit of forgetting to eat while he was painting, but the aroma of freshly baked breads and smokey meats constantly flowing from this place were bound to break the habit. Andrew told him about his job in marketing but felt pretty lame compared to someone with an art studio. Mateo finished his food and left first. They said goodbye politely and Andrew hoped he would see Mateo again, and thought he might try to tomorrow.

Mateo went back to his studio and found himself thinking about Andrew. He seemed like a nice guy. Maybe if he went back tomorrow he would see him again. It was nice to have someone friendly to talk to. He didn't quite understand what he did for a living, but knew it had something to do with advertising, and what did it matter if he didn't understand it? They could still become friends.

So the next day they both went back to the little deli, and just like the day before Mateo was seated at the table below the red clock. This time Andrew didn't wait for an invitation and immediately joined him, despite the fact that there were several empty tables today. They talked and laughed for a while, and eventually Andrew noticed that Mateo had a white line around his finger on his left hand. A bright contrast to his smooth brown skin. There had been a ring there, recently, and it had probably been there for a long time. This was the day they decided without saying anything that they would meet here every day.

On day three Mateo took Andrew to his studio after they had eaten. Andrew had pictured a starving artist type of set up with art scattered everywhere and no real organization, but this place was nice. Mateo had clearly done quite well for himself, and by the looks of his work, he was very talented.

On day four Andrew knew that he was into Mateo, he had actually known from day one, but he allowed himself to admit it on day four. They walked to the studio again and spent more time together than they had on the previous days.

It was day seven when Andrew grabbed Mateo's hand on their walk to the studio. At first Mateo's hand was rigid and he started to pull back, but he quickly relaxed. Mateo didn't know what to think. He certainly thought about Andrew a lot, and that was alarming for him, but this was foreign territory for him. He had been attracted to men before but had never considered exploring those thoughts.

"Is this okay?" asked Andrew

Mateo stuttered at first not know what words to use, but eventually settled on "yeah its great".

It was that same day Andrew had given Mateo his phone number, he wanted to talk to him after work. Mateo only gave Andrew his studio number because his home phone was not working, and he was always at the studio late so they could talk then.

It was around day twelve when Andrew realized he was in love. They had been talking on the phone every night and there was something that made him feel safe about Mateo, and something that burned deep inside of him. He knew it was dangerous to fall for someone this fast but he couldn't help it, and he could see in Mateo's eyes that he felt the same.

On day seventeen they were holding hands when they entered the studio.

"come with me I want to show you something" Mateo said smiling

He led Andrew between different canvases and tables covered in art. Andrew could see in front of him an easel with a tan sheet covering it, and knew that Mateo had painted something for him. His heart began doing jumping jacks.

"close your eyes" Mateo said softly

When he shut them he could the sheet sliding off of the canvas.

"Open"

Andrews mouth fell open.

It was a beautifully done painting of two men sitting at a table, with their hands locked together on top, and on the wall above them was big red clock.

"I...uhm..this is amazing! Oh my god, no ones ever done anything like this for-"

Mateo planted his lips lightly on Andrews. Andrew returned the kiss much more deeply and passionately. They made love for the first time on the floor below the painting, with the red clock hanging above them.

"I have something to tell you." Mateo said shakily as the two men lay on the floor entangled in each others limbs. He turned away from Andrew. He couldn't look at him right now.

"It's your first time with a man? I was pretty sure that was the case."

"I'm married"

Andrew wasn't phased. He leaned forward and kissed Mateo on the shoulder.

"I saw the imprint of the ring. It's okay. Separation and divorce is tricky, but I can help you through it."

Mateo frowned. "But we're not divorced."

Andrews face went a little pale.

"W-what? But I've never seen you with your ring and...what do you mean you're married? What has all this been if you're married?"

"I'm sorry" was all Mateo could get out. He didn't know what to say. Andrew left hurriedly, trying not to let Mateo see him cry.

On day eighteen Andrew decided it was time to lay everything on the table for both of them. They met as usual, at the table for two under the big red clock. Andrew didn't waste any time. He wrapped Mateo's hands in his and looked him in the eyes.

"I'm in love with you."

Mateo looked shamefully at the table.

"I'm in love with you and I know you love me too."

Mateo refused to look up at Andrew. A tear welled up in Andrews right eye and streamed down his cheek.

"If you look me in the eyes right now and tell me you don't love me, then I will leave right now, forever, and never bother you again, otherwise I want to fight for you."

Mateo finally looked up at Andrew.

"I do love you, but I love my wife too. This isn't fair to her. She doesn't deserve to be hurt...tell me what to do Andrew because I don't know."

Tears were pouring out now from both of them.

"It's your decision, I can't make it for you. What I want is for you to go pack your things and be with me. Forget that life and move on. You and me together, but I know that's not fair...but..when I look at you I feel things I've never felt before. I need you Mateo."

"...and I need you Andrew. I choose you. It's only you. This is who I am and you are who I want to be with. I...I..have to talk to her though. Tonight. I'll call you. But I have to go right now."

They kissed deeply beneath the big red clock.

Mateo didn't call. Andrew wasn't too surprised. It had probably been an emotional night. He didn't even know how long Mateo had been married, but now it didn't matter. Now they were going to be together. Except Mateo was late. A few minutes was acceptable, but it was going on an hour now. Then it hit him. A realization that rattled his soul. Mateo wasn't coming. After he had poured his heart out on to this table. After the painting. After the love making. After everything. There was no one else he wanted to be with, and he had been rejected. After eighteen meals under this tacky, beautiful, red clock. Mateo didn't choose him.