Agape Mou, Xenia

I couldn't move my fingers anymore. The dry, frigid air forced them into stiff, dark icicles. I kinda wish I could still feel the sharp kisses of winter in my hands and face, it meant that they were ok. That I was ok. Now I'm not so sure.

The snow clung to my drenched clothing, weighing me down as I walked in search of some kind of sanctuary. A wise man would have stripped and walked naked the second he got out of the river, but I'm no wise man I suppose. A wise man wouldn't have ended up falling a good 40 ft off a bridge in the first place. A wise man wouldn't have let himself get dragged off by a current into the woods. A wise man wouldn't have started aimlessly walking through the woods while slowly freezing to death. It didn't help that the fall probably bruised a few ribs or worse.

My eyelids were so heavy, The snow looked soft too. Comforting, like a cloud in heaven. I wanted to rest, to simply let go of my pain and finally sleep. But I kept walking, stumbling over ice and branches as my body slowly froze over. 

Voices carried over the wind. The winter breeze mocked me, laughing at how I tripped whenever my knees gave out and laughed harder when I struggled to stand. The underbrush began to shuffle and shake with a burst of great laughs too. I want quiet. Can everything please just shut up? PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP!

I fell, my fall broke by my frozen pillow. The falling snow tucked me in with an icy blanket. Then the laughter stopped. The shuffling became faster, crunching footsteps echoed through my head. I just wanted to sleep. 

I was forcefully ripped from my frozen tomb and thrown over something hard and high up. Was I dead? 

“When's the ambulance getting here!?”

“I don't know, just stay calm, he isn't dead yet.”

My fingers twitched. A sharp pain waved through my hands and up my arms. Everything hurt, but I felt warmth. My eyes opened slowly, wincing as they adjusted to the light. I was in a house in front of a fireplace. Most of my clothes were gone and I was wrapped up in several blankets. I could hear voices from another room. I tried to sit up but fire tore up my back and chest. I let out a low groan as I layed back down.

“Oh my god! He's awake!” a woman’s voice called out followed by quick footsteps.

Two people stood before me, a man and a woman. The man was tall and stocky, he was on the phone speaking frantically. The woman was also tall and she was carrying a large bowl of something. She quickly knelt and brought the bowl to my lips with one hand while leaning my head up with the other. I slowly opened my mouth and allowed the hot liquid past my tongue. It was overly salted chicken broth heated to almost boiling, but I drank as much as I could anyway. I gasped for air when she brought the bowl back closer to herself.

“Careful! Don't choke, Are you ok?” she asked

“What happened?” I muttered back, looking up at her.

“We found you yelling in the woods half dead. We brought you back to our house and called 911, they’ll be here soon, right David?” She turned to the man, who was still pacing up and down the living room.

“They said ten minutes at most,” he said before turning back to his phone.

Ten minutes. What if I died by then. What if these people were too late and I was already dead. This could be a fever dream for all I know. In the back of my head, I could still hear the echoing laughter of my problems. The taunts poked and prodded and the last bit of consciousness I had. What if these people lied to me? Was that broth poisoned? I drank a lot of it, but it'll be fine, right? The ambulance will be here soon so I'll be fine. Unless he, David, is lying too, I can't hear the 911 operator, what if he didn't even call. Everybody lies to me, everybody has lied to me, now they're lying again.

A soft hand pulled me out of my personal darkness. A thumb swiped across my cheek, wiping off tears I didn't know I was shedding. The angle slimed gently, whispering about how I’m “safe now” and how “everything will be alright”. I saw my mother sat next to me, drying my tears as I cried about the other kids teasing me. I saw my sister patting my shoulder at mom's funeral. I saw a kind stranger bringing life back into my broken, frozen body as it cried. I smiled weekly and let the tears flow freely. I wept for my mother, for my regrets, for my second chance at life given to me by two complete strangers.

Sirens could be heard in the distance over my sobbing. Now both David and the woman, Cristine was her name, sat next to me as wept and comforted me. Cristine stood and let the paramedics in. a flurry of heavy footsteps sounded through the small living room as I was quickly surrounded. David stood and gave the paramedics space to work on me.

one prodded my torso, checking for bleeding, another wrapped my bicep in a blood pressure cuff, and the others worked at hooking me up to different tubes and IVs. Random numbers were called out every so often, I assumed they were my vitals. At one point I was rolled onto this board and all the workers circled around me, looking for a handle in the sides of said board. I was lifted into the air as I winced and twitched in pain. As a group, the paramedics shuffled me onto a waiting gurney. I was strapped every which way and rolled into the bleach white ambulance. 

With all the strength I could muster, I waved goodbye to my angels through the closing doors and readied myself for whatever judgment awaited me at my destination.