While we're waiting

Marlene taps her foot on the floor in agitation and constantly checks the time. Joshua rolls his eyes and gets up; “I’m about to get some coffee, can I get you anything?” he asks. Marlene sighs and reaches for some money in her bag’ “Just get me a matcha latte… and hurry up, she might call us in at any moment” she says as she rolls her eyes and focuses her gaze on the psychologist’s door. Marlene’s phone rings and she grabs it out from her left side jacket pocket, the name “TORI” flashes across the screen and she attempts to answer when the receptionist walks up to her “Excuse me ma’am, please put your phone on silent In the waiting room” and walks back to her desk.

Marlene dashes a quick smile and switches off her phone, she checks the time again and walks towards the receptionist desk;

“Hi, sorry to bother you… uhm, how long do you think the psychologist is going to take with the patients in there? I mean, it’s not like I’ve got things to do but I’ve been waiting here for like the longest time and nothing seems to be happening” she said as she anxiously tapped the desk.

The receptionist checks the appointment book and gives Marlene a blank stare; “It’s only 16:25 and your appointment is at 17:30 ma’am” the receptionist said, with an obviously annoyed look on her face. “Yeah, well I thought there was a reason why you guys said we should come in an hour earlier” Marlene responded. There is an awkward silence between the two ladies and in that moment, Marlene decides to go back to her seat. She looks around the room and notices various elements, firstly, the room is empty which makes perfect sense since she and Joshua are the last clients for the day. The second observation she makes is that the walls are as thin as a rake and yet she can’t hear in on the psychologist and the couple that’s in her room. ‘Do these people even have problems” she murmurs and as she looks around the room making unwanted eye contact with Joshua as he walks back into the waiting room.

“Thank you for the latte”

“It’s nothing. Best thing to do is be nice to you right”

“What does that mean Joshua?” Marlene asks as she slowly sips her latte

“Well… maybe if I’m nice, you’ll probably reconsider the terms to the divorce”

“Reconsider? There’s nothing to reconsider here…”

“Was our marriage even important to you?”

“That question is one of the reasons why we’re here today”

“I mean, wouldn’t you ask that question too? You moved on instantly… you uttered the words divorce and there you were with someone else” Joshua said as he leaned back into his chair.

Marlene took a deep breath and continued sipping her latte. She knew that this conversation was going to happen someday, and she was always ready to throw in a response, but she just wanted to get this day over and done with. She wanted to sign the agreement papers and have the last divorce counselling session. It was two years since the official divorce, but these things couldn’t happen due to Joshua’s job and him traveling. It took two years, but Marlene knew that in her eight-year relationship, five of those years were lonely nights and delayed dreams. The receptionist walked towards the door next to the doctor’s office and entered, closing it behind her.

“So, tell me… who is this person?” Joshua asked as he sipped his coffee loudly

“Really?”

“You know it’s better if we end this off civil right? We’re waiting for the doctor to finish, might as just make small talk”

“This is not small talk Joshua, you’re evidently prying”

“Who is the lucky guy?”

“What makes you think it’s another man?” Marlene asks as she sits up and stares at Joshua. There is tension in the room and Joshua laughs in disbelief. There is silence in the room and Joshua stands up to throw the coffee cup in the bin.

“You traded me in for a woman?”

“Excuse me?”

“You traded me in for a woman? Was I that bad?” Joshua says as he continues laughing disbelief

“Who I end up with after you doesn’t have anything to do with you!”

“Oh, come on Marlene… a woman? You’re gay now?”

Marlene leans back in her chair and reaches for her phone. She checks the time on her watch and switches the phone on.

“I didn’t know that I felt this way for and about women – I’ve never entertained it because of my family” Marlene said as she waited for the phone to finally switch on.

“Is this some sort of revenge? Some sort of payback?”

“The world doesn’t revolve around working against you Josh, not even a single bit”

“You’re suddenly gay after I cheated on you? I cheated once and we promised to work past it Marlene. Our relationship felt more like a friendship with benefits and I told you that my cheating was a mistake… but now this? You turning gay? Didn’t you have a teenage phase for goodness sake?”

“What’s the problem with your ex-wife being gay? What I do now doesn’t affect you… I didn’t send you to go cheat on me and YOU were the one who promised to work through your issues! Don’t you think that I know that our relationship was in shambles? You avoided talking about it while I sat in the dark, in loneliness, waiting and wondering if we’ll ever work again. Five years of waiting and wondering… and hoping… and praying… wasting time and wasting my life waiting for a man who knew that he wasn’t prepared to hold on”

“What do you think I was doing Marlene?”

“You were enjoying life… you were living like you weren’t in a committed relationship, in a marriage! I was waiting for you to finish living while I existed as your wife… You’re asking me if I didn’t have a teenage phase while you had yours within the eight years of our union!”

The room grew still… Joshua began pacing up and down before putting his fist right through the wall.

 “Do you actually have any regard for my feelings?” Joshua asked as he sat opposite Marlene

“Why is it always about you Joshua?”

“Eight years of marriage and this is you today?”

“In divorce counselling with a man who doesn’t seem to acknowledge his mistakes”

“wow, ‘with a man’, I guess that was my disqualifying factor from the beginning huh?” Joshua said as if mocking Marlene.

“No not even… but your absence was. The fact that you slept with another woman, how you would leave for months on end and when you eventually did come back – you’d come home just to make sure that your trophy wife was still in her place. Hung on the shelf and shiny”

Marlene’s phone rang an again the name ‘TORI’ flashed across the phone screen. Instead of ignoring the call, she answered it.

“Hey, how are you? – yeah I’m still here – uh, no we haven’t really seen the doctor as yet – okay sure -love you too bye!” it’s as if Marlene answered the call deliberately, in order to prove something to Joshua. He laughed in that moment and walked towards the water tank to get himself some water. Marlene put the phone in her bag and noticed that Joshua had a slight limp

“I’m noticing your limp, everything okay?” she asked

“I sprained my ankle, nothing extreme… you should be thanking me don’t you think?”

“thanking you?” Marlene asked, almost confused but expecting Joshua to say something driven entirely by his fragile masculinity

“Yeah… (laughs) I mean, my betrayal made you step up and realise who you really are. I made you come out of the closet and you should be thanking me Marlene”

In that moment, Marlene was more disappointed than shocked. She saw this comment coming but she expected Joshua to be more reserved

“Wow Joshua… unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to aid your bruised ego – and maybe you did allow me to see my true self because no woman would want to be with a man like you even if I were to be chastised for my sexuality. Aren’t you glad we had this session now?”

“Glad?”

“Yeah… I mean the few hours we spent here gave me so much perspective, forgiving you would be the most dumbest and degrading thing I would do… so thank you, I’m ready for my divorce counselling to end now” Marlene said as she stood up and walked towards the door

“Walk out… sure” Joshua uttered

“Thank you for your permission” Marlene said, mockingly while walking out