I Stole Her Memory

GLAND's P.O.V:

It’s hot. Slow internet connection.

“This is what I’m exactly saying!” I whispered to myself

I already told mom and dad to left me in LA but they’re not listening. I used to live here in Metro Manila, Philippines when I was 6 and before I even turned 7, mom and dad agreed to live outside the country cause basically my grand Gilb has a family business abroad and he wants my dad to run it, while dad’s company here in the Philippines was managed by my older brother and his wife. For almost 12 years of living in a foreign country, I have adopted it and I’ve grown in a different direction I am not used to. And now it’s going to be hard again, it’s an intense emotional rollercoaster. My previous life seems so distant. This is actually where I live before but now I feel like a total outsider. My dad’s excuse is that he wants me to finish my senior years in here and let me go back in there if I will graduate as Valedictorian, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do here.

I was walking in the campus’ pathway when I heard some guys talking about me

“She’s a transferee, I didn’t know that girl’s from L.A are that hot.”

“ Dude, I want her , man … ight ight, this is nuts” the boy with piercings that make him look like a boyband idol, said

“I heard she’s got the highest GPA in their school” the guy with an ash gray hair whispered

“Man, She’s gonna be mine. I might make her a pornstar while we in bed.”

THESE DUDES, REALLY.

It’s not that I raise standards, I just have this dream man, I prefer a Lawyer. I hate dudes who ain’t bout shit , worthless as fuck and who doesn’t have plans for their future. Lazy group of fuckers with male appendages.

Weeks passed. My stay in UP High (University of the Philippines High School) debilitated me completely. By the time I’m done there, I’m too exhausted to finish my school work, but I stay up late to try and return to school feeling half conscious the next day. The peer pressure I’m exposed to .But I choose my faith. I can’t disappoint no one. I need to have high grades. 

Until I met this guy…

I know from the moment I met him that he ain’t good for my soul. He’s smart, I must tell that since he’s my greatest opponent in school. I hate him the first time I saw him. He’s dating different girls everyday, he seems like enjoying it at the same time he’s got high grades and outstanding performances at school.

“I support people who call themselves as “Pro Choice” and who regard intentional abortion as acceptable in some circumstances. We get no opinion coming from the fetus but there is euthanasia. There is something which could end the suffering, maybe not for the fetus, but for the one who carries it. What if that woman is raped? And she doesn’t wanna have that child because it reminds her of the tragedy that once destroyed her? If the fetus has the right to life, that will take every mother’s right to life. I will exclaim with finality, Abortion should be legalized.” My statement ends right there

“ What gives a being the right to life? What gives a being the right to end an innocent’s life? Under what circumstances? Do we have to take an innocent human’s life? Is protecting her body’s right more important than the right to life? I STAND FOR THE “PRO LIFE” Deliberately killing innocent human being is wrong and fetus is an innocent human being , therefore, abortion is wrong.” Thant, contradicts.

That statement of him caught me off-guard. I fell in love with how he’s passionate with his words. Call me a sapiosexual, but I fell in love with his intelligence.

“Nice Try, Ms. Stein” Yeah right, he’s flirty with everyone but he’s so cold hearted when he’s in communication with me

“Whatever you say, playboy. You’ll still end up marrying me, you’ll see haha” I laughed at my own joke

“Tss. Calm down, woman. You’re not my type. You are so straightforward, you’re not interesting” he fired

“You’re so mean to your future wife huh. Fine I’ll be an understanding partner. You’re just mad and stressed out because obviously, I won the debate earlier” I fired back and left out of his sight

“Ms. Stein? How about you? You’re in a race of valedictorian’s spot with Mr. Zeilore. What’s your plan after high school?, or college?” our prof asked. And the whole class’ attention was thrown to me.

“Well basically, after high school, I’ll take the opportunity of the Ivy League’s scholarship offer, maybe Princeton or Harvard. And pursue the field I wanted, which is Neuroscience. And after that, marry a Lawyer” I turned my sight to Thant.

And everyone in the class started squealing.

 “What about you, Mr. Zeilore?” he’s the center of attention now, after Miss Dilemma asked him.

“I wanted to be a lawyer before but I changed my mind, I’ll go for Engineering or Architecture”

THAT HURTS.

After that statement of him, I decided to stop myself from flirting. He’s really not into me, I have nothing against that. I focused on my goals and strive harder.

11 years after. I earned a bachelor’s degree, graduated medical school And I’m still continuing my residency Training— Thisstep attempts to break down what’s left of your body, and demands hours of focus despite the time, the temperature, and even your ability. It murderously kills the crumbs that are left of your stamina, and tests it up until where the stress would crush you. Residency is standing in the midst of chaos – horrifying for most people, but beautiful for me. Once I have my white coat on, nothing is impossible. Well I better be prepare for my fellowship.

I received an email from my batch mate—Dianne about the Alumni Homecoming thing, I don’t know of I have time for that but I honestly do missed my high school friends so I’ll surely make time.

After a week, finally. Wearing my backless Darius Cordell, 4 inch Sergio Rossi stiletto, and my Bottega Veneta Clutch Purse, all in silvered black.

As I walk in the red carpet, I got everyone’s attention. I saw how successful they are with their promising careers and here I am still working my ass off. I’m jealous but I’m happy for them.

Before the event started, there’s this guy wearing tuxedo who got everyone’s fucking eyes. He seems familiar. Little did I know he’s walking near our table and stopped in front of me.

“Yes? Do I know you?” I asked him

“Can’t you recognize your future husband?” He said and everyone’s mouth formed an O

“Oh my god! Thant! I didn’t recognize you. You are such a…Man” I complimented him

“Love is like an aggravating circumstance—an unlawful entry. I didn’t force it to come, it just did. I’m already a Lawyer, Now, will you be mine

THANT'S P.O.V:

From the very moment she came into my life, I conclude she changed me. From playboy to the what so called 'stick to one'. I was so afraid to tell her back then how I am madly in love with her. And I saw how she struggled through high school so I didn’t bother crossing through her life, I’m afraid, I’ll be her distraction. But 11 years is enough. Right timing is everything.

So basically I decided to apply in a Law firm here in L.A and wait for her to finished her fellowship so we could go back to the Philippines together.

There’s no such thing as home. It’s good to be back, Metro Manila.

“Love, what do you want for your birthday?" I asked her while she rested her head in my legs, we're here on an esplanade.

"Hmm, I’ve been dreaming of becoming a neurosurgeon, I wanna explore more knowledge about our brains, and still can’t believe I already am, so aside from becoming more successful in this field, I got nothing to wish for, since you’re already here. But if there’s one thing I would really pray for, I’ll pray each day that whatever happens, you’ll never forget me.” She hugged me tight.

"Promise, love" just an assurance.

~

She became clingier this time. She always wanna see me and every time we get to see each other, she will stare at me the whole f time i dont want this shit, i want something challenging. So I started flirting with other girls i met online. The promise I made was forgotten. I love her but I want more. I don't want doors that's already opened, I want the unlocked one.

~

I started rejecting her msgs and calls, I started ignoring her, she still keeps on trying to reconnect with me but I’ve logged out

in every possible sites we could find connections. I don't even know what's wrong with me. Maybe this is what I wanted, to be chased by her, I am building my own challenge. I’ve dated so many girls for almost five months without even seeing my girl, and rn I am with Charity.

"You're so mean, Thant!" She nodded

"I could be meaner than this Cha" I kissed her on her lips.

I'm honestly on the custody of alcohol rn, not even remembering that i have my girl. Cha, started kissing me on my neck too and the kisses became deeper. Then in a very great horror, a familiar voice appeared.

"So this is what you want that you can't get from me, isn't it? “It stopped me from whatever I’m doing.

Glands standing in front of us with her tears

Her tears are making me weaker.

"Love, let me explain" I complained

" I thought you’ve already changed! I wanna slap u, kick u, curse u, until I get tired. But what for? Will u ever change if I’ll do it? Will u ever love me again the same way u did ? "She cleared out and that made me speechless. I got slapped by her words.

“ I really do love u, This was just a mistake, love. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll change. Just give me another chance. I will be better” I kneeled down

" No, Thant, u don't love me. Because if u really do, u will be contented in me. You won’t look for another girl because u love me. I love u more than anything in this world but that love is not enough for u and it’s not enough for me to give u another chance. I can sense the real happiness when you're not with me, from this day forward, I let u go. “she exclaimed with finality.

Her words are like knives in my heart. I lost her.

~

I’ve been so lost for months. I've been contacting her since that day but i couldn't reach her, till I’ve decided to go to their house

And then I saw her going out on their door. She’s still beautiful, she looked exactly the same. But her eyes screams for blankness.

She looks the same but she seemed like a different person.

"Gland?' I started

"Yes? Who’s there? How can I help u? She asked while staring in a blank surface

She cant see?!Her questions literally slapped me and left me dumbfounded. My tears fell down.

"A-A-ah it's me, Thanthalamus Zeilore” I tried to sound normal but I’m really crying

"Sorry but I don't know you. “

Then a guy taught her the way inside the car. I wanna chase her and hug her. I miss her, really.

“So you're Thant?" A girl behind me asked

"Yes, you’re Shayanne?" I asked her back

“I’m her sister. Gland has a brain failure. She has a rapidly progressive Dementia— Craniopharyngioma. Her tumor was connected to her eyesight that's why she lost it both. One day, she came home crying and hugged each one of us tight, that made a weird feeling for us all. She isolated herself in her room for a day, we didn’t bother to ask her what’s going on cause you know her, she doesn’t like the idea of sharing her problems. She told us that she’ll be gone for a month or more and we all want to stop her but we saw how exhausted she is so we let her took a break, and then weeks after, we got a call from the hospital and we rushed our way over there and the moment she wake up she doesn't remember any happenings, any single person even herself, I don’t know if that’s just Cranio itself or there’s other complications since she entirely can’t remember, he can't even see. Her hypothalamus isn't working well, that's why she can't handle to love anymore. That's what Doctor Zibella said. We’re leaving for good, we’re heading back to L.A, she never liked living here in the Philippines not until she met you, This City became her home again even after returning from L.A for college, but we want her to start for a new life over there and I’m going to get her a specialist. Btw, she told me to give this to you before the day she left the house" She handed me a brain formed necklace with this letter;

"I love you till the end of my hypothalamus" 

"My sister loved you, and she hoped that u will love yourself when she won’t be there to do it for u.”

As I stood there, left alone with no words just tears flowing, My feet brought me to her room, and I shed tears after seeing her room. It’s almost filled with my pictures, stolen pictures during high school, pictures of mine from the internet and our pictures together. I’m not really into touching anyone’s stuffs but I feel like I will somehow get pampered with her things so I found myself opening the box under her bed.

I saw her diary. It sounds like a typical forgetting-amnesia, story in a book or in a movie but I really did find it.

I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I feel like I have to. On the first page, second, third and so on, I found nothing but how she’s flaunting me and how she’s mad at me for not throwing a single smile on her during S.H years. Until I end up with the last page. It creeps me out, the ink is red… It smells like blood....

To my ever dearest bestfriend, my diary,

I was in my residency when I discovered that I have a brain tumor. I told no one about it, but gladly I have you . I couldn’t tell my parents because I don’t want to disappoint them, I need to survive in this field before it even gets worse. I couldn’t tell Thant cause I don’t want him to get turned off if he’ll find out that I’m losing half my sanity. I used to be brave, I thought I was. I love my job, I love my career, but I’m not happy. I feel like I’m just meeting everyone’s expectations, perfect daughter, girlfriend, sister, but what about me? What about me? I want to be happy too. I exactly know what’s going on with me but I choose not to mind it because I want to make the people around me, happy, That’s the least that I could do for them. I know Thant is not with me anymore, and I want to see him happy even if that happiness doesn’t include me and even if it means to let him go. I just feel so lost. I love u more than anything else in this world, but we’re not healthy for each other. I’ve been suffering from depression for 7 years and I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I’m so tired of pretending. I’m tired of everything. I thought I could hold on to you, I didn’t know that your hand was never mine, our hands doesn’t fit for each other. I want to start again. I will make sure this tumor will go away. I will choose myself this time. I will choose myself like how I chose u all since then. I know heartache have no healing timeline like general surgery does. Electroconculsive Theraphy is the only way I could start again.

If anyone will ever read this, if ever it’s you, Thant, please do know that I will always love you. I love you until the end of my hypothalamus, my mind may forget, but my heart will never. This pains me to say, It hurts that I am just one page in the book of your life. Upon taking the therapy, I know my life wouldn’t be any longer, but I still wanna do it because I want to be happy before leaving this world. I forgive u. I forgive u for hurting me, and I want u to forgive yourself. The pain you caused me impales my chest and my love for u still swells up in my heart at an alarming rate, you know my forgiveness is always your portion. Don’t forget me, aryt? Strive harder, Atty.

Even in her last memory, I’m the one whom she remembered.

I’m sorry I didn’t know you’re fighting alone. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for u and up until now I still don’t have the courage to chase you.

I was dumb selfish. I was the one who make her lost her memory. I was the one who stole it from her. I was the one who hurted her. I’ve just looked for the challenge not even knowing I've slowly lose the prize. And now I've lost my girl, the only girl whose door's open but now forever closed.