Who do you choose?

As we sat on the bench, over looking the sunset, the crisp dry air burned my eyes. I nuzzled up to Sam, rubbing his head with my chin. His soft moans, gracing my ears. Days like these I wish would never end. Pulling him closer I gently placed a kiss upon the top of his head.

“Sam I’m so happy to have you in my life. Please never leave me,” I whispered in his ear, as I pulled him closer than ever.

“I love you too, Jack,” he hugged me back, his small frame barely able to wrap around my waist, but that was fine. I just needed him.

As we continued to watch the sunset, the familiar sound of clacking heels with the unmistakable scent of rosy mint perfume graced my nose.

“My how cute,” a high pitched voice called out. “So instead of getting ready for our wedding, you’re still seeing this… thing.”

Sarah, looked as majestic as ever, her dark blue dress danced in the air, while she stood proud and tall. Over looking us, her eyes fully locked on me, not even giving Sam any acknowledgment.

“Sarah, what are you doing here? I thought you will be out of town for another couple of days,” I stammered out.

“Well my trip was cut short and I decided to take a walk to the beach, and who do I find here. Cuddling up with some man?” Sarah walked to the opposite side of the bench, pulling her hair back I could see her emerald green eyes filled with a mix of sorrow, determination, and pity.

“I can explain,” taking my arms off Sam, I made my way to Sarah, only for my shirt to be tugged.

“Are you really doing this now? After everything we’ve gone through are you really choosing her now? I… I thought you loved me more… I- I just want you to love me, Jack.”

I couldn’t turn to see him. I refuse to turn to see him. I bit my tongue to help steady myself. Clinched my fist. Swallowed my breath. Sam’s weak, pitifully, pathetic voice was just too cute to ignore. I loved how he begs me to stay with him. He knows it’s my weakness. He knows what I love the most about him.

I hate this, Sarah just stood there not even paying us any mind. Just looking at the sunset. Her hair blowed through the wind and her dress slowly danced. Mimicking the waves on this day.

“I do love you Sam. Really I do! You are still the best thing that has happened to me-.”

“So, was I a mistake?” She finally looked at me, eyes drowning in tears. “Was all those years together a waste of time? Did I really mean nothing to you? I gave you my heart for FIVE YEARS WAITING FOR YOU TO LOVE ME BACK! Was it all just a waste of time?”

She gripped her dressed tightly as she bite her lips. Blood trickled down her face as she glared at me.

“Sarah, no! I di- I DO LOVE YOU! It’s- it’s just-.”

“Do you not love me then? Was I nothing more than a game to you? Someone to play with, to toy with, whenever you got board with her?” Sam no longer held onto me. He sat on the edge of the bench, hands hiding his face. “Was all this time together the past three months of our relationship, just a way for you to find a way to relieve stress?”

“Sam that’s not it,” I placed a hand on his shoulder, “it wasn’t for nothing I did love you. I DO love you! It’s just complicated.”

“Of course it’s complicated, Jack,” the venom in which she said my name, turned my blood cold. “It’s complicated cause you decide to fuck some lowly street rat! Who the fuck is he any ways? Some pathetic little shit that has nothing to his name? Do you view me as some lesser being who deserves less time and attention than him? I GAVE YOU MY LIFE FOR FIVE YEARS JACK! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS TELL ME YOU WANTED TO FUCK SOMEONE ELSE!”

“Sarah, please, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you. It just happened. Shoot I didn’t even mean for it to get this far he was just supposed to be a pump and dump and nothing more!”

The words left my mouth before I could realized what it was I had just said. Looked back at Sam, his mouth hanged opened, with a manic smile plastered on it. He tried to meet my eyes, but he couldn’t even bear to look at me straight.

“Sam, wait! I- I didn’t mean…” Sam just got up from the bench and made his way to the beach.

“I thought you loved me. I thought…I thought that after all this time together you loved me. I was so happy when you agreed to go on that date with me I couldn’t contain my excitement. I felt like the luckiest man alive at that time,” Sam’s small frame eclipsed the sun. His silhouette edged by the glowing light.

His shadow engulfed me, keeping me in place. Preventing me from moving any closer to him. My foot rapidly tapped on the sandy beach. I looked back to Sarah, the woman herself refused to look at me. She wrapped her arms around herself in a warm embrace, though she shivered in the cold, dry summer heat. Turning to Sam, he continued to just stare at the ocean, waiting for the sun to finally set.

“Jack, don’t you think it’s time for you to stop these games? What do you think others would think that you decided to not only, cheat on your loving fiancée of five years with a man, but one of your underlings? The press would just. Eat. You. Alive.”

She right, such a thing wouldn’t look good. No matter how you pressed it.

“I guess that’s my fault, huh. If I had known you were my boss I don’t think I would have pursued you. But the same could be said if I had known you had a fiancée. If I had known any of that none of this would have happened and I wouldn’t be causing you all this trouble.”

Sam turned to face me, a stream of tears ran down his face. The reflection of the sun made them look like priceless jewels. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him it’s all right.

I tried to move closer to him. To hold him, but delicate hands guided me back down. The rosy mint scent blessed my nose full force this time. Looking up Sarah, locked eyes with me. Her busted lip dripped blood onto my face, nearly avoiding my eye.

“Jack, I am your fiancée, you shouldn’t be wasting your time with someone like him.”

“But-.”

“Did you ever love me, Jack? Or was all the time we spent together a lie? Was I really nothing more than a quick squeeze? A cheep toy you didn’t have to pay for?”

I wanted to look at Sam, but Sarah kept my head focused on her. Her weak, delicate, soft, smooth hands, tickled my neck, sending shivers down my spine. My hands, grabbed hold of her wrist and as I pulled them away from me I stared at Sam. He had made his way back in front of me, and began to laugh as I watched.

He looked between us once more and said, “It’s either her or me, Jack. Your lovely fiancée or your…toy? Who do you choose?”

“I- I can’t choose!”

“Why not? It seems like a no brainer for anyone paying attention,” Sarah cold voice stung at heart.

“Even I know the answer, but I just want to hear you say it,” Sam’s bittersweet voice pierced my soul.

I hate that I have to choose. I love Sam, but Sarah has been with me for years and I can’t let the family down. Sam has only been in my life for such a short amount of time, but he’s brought me so much joy. And Sarah might be a pain, but she has done so much for me, I can’t loose that safety net. They both make me feel so safe, even if it’s in different aspects of my life.

“I’m sorry Sam. I love you I really do. You make me feel whole, like a new person, but there are things Sarah can do in the long run that you can’t. No mater how much you try.”

I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. The sound of the crunchy sand filled the cold night air, as the moon hung high in the sky.