Hey Siri

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” The technician told me as he handed my phone back to me. “Are you sure?” I asked in frustration, looking over the phone as though that would help.  Siri had been acting strange recently. And by strange, I mean she always responded with…

           Beep. Beep.

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

Every time I told her to do something or asked her a question, that was the response I got. While Siri may not hear or respond a few times was normal, this was not. I even tried getting some of my friends to ask her something, and she always responded to them but when I asked it was the same…

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch that,” response I always got to me. My friends being friends laughed saying something along the lines of…

           “She probably has a grudge against you.” And at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

Again, this kind of stuff usually happens from time to time, but this was different, and a little creepy. Bringing my phone to the repair shop was the only option I had left after trying different things I found online that said would help but didn’t. Like going to settings and turning her off and then on. Or making sure I actually did set her up to be able to recognize my voice, which I did.

           “Hey Siri what’s the weather today.” I asked placing the phone on the counter.

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” 

           “You try.” I said to the technician, who shrugged.

           “Hey Siri what’s the weather today.”

           Beep. Beep.

           “It is currently 70⁰F. Expect cloudy skies in the evening. Temperatures are heading down from 70⁰F to 58⁰F tonight.”

           “See!” I told the technician who looked bored, “She doesn’t listen to me.” 

           “You know this usual happens right.” He asked.

           “Yes, I do, but not like this! Last night she wouldn’t stop talking. I even turned my phone off.” The man paused.

           “You could always use your hands or get a new phone.”

           “I could always use my hands.” I muttered to myself slamming the car door shut. “Like I hadn’t tried that already.”

           Beep. Beep

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           “You were not invited to this conversation.” Great not only am I talking to myself, but also to Siri like she was a normal person.

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           “Seriously Siri stop.”

           Beep. Beep

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” I groaned in frustration, staring at the phone.

“Maybe I should get a new phone.” But I didn’t want one, I had just bought this one a month ago after my phone of 5 years decided to die on me.

Beep. Beep.

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

“A new phone it is then.”

I grinned stupidly at the new phone in my hands. I made sure the technician, checked, double checked and triple checked to make sure everything was setup and in good working order. He assured me that it was, I even tried before heading home just to be sure.

           “Hey Siri play Life goes on by BTS.”

           Beep. Beep.

           “Playing Life goes on by BTS.” I grinned again.

           “Perfect.” Now time to do some homework, well it wasn’t really homework per say but the company I worked for had me doing some designs for them and with deadlines looming I had to finish.

I smiled sitting back and admiring my work, it was already late at night. Time sure flies when you’re working. I cocked my head noticing that the music had stopped playing with a shrug I get up and get ready for bed.

“Hey Siri, can you turn off the lights please.” I said after tucking myself in. I frowned slowly opening one eye then another.

           “Hey Siri, can you turn off the lights please.” I said again. No response. With a huff I got out of bed and turned them off myself. Probably couldn’t hear me. I thought. Oh well it happens.

I woke up with a jolt, wondering what exactly woke me up, when I heard the beeping sound Siri made before she said.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I said grabbing my phone from its’ spot on the other side of my bed. I went to settings to turn her off only to discover that it was off. I frowned but I was positive it was on when I used it earlier.

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           “The hell.” I said glancing at the time, 3 in the morning. I groaned and got out of bed.

           Beep. Beep

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           “I didn’t say anything.” I yelled. With a sigh I turned the phone off, and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I came back to…

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” I stared at the phone, sitting in its place on the bed, the screen was black which clearly met it was off. I grabbed it to check just in case. Yep, definitely off so where was…

           Beep. Beep.

           “I sorry I didn’t catch that.” I dropped the phone.

           “Nope not happening. I’m getting rid of you tomorrow.”

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” I froze.

           “Oh come on I didn’t say anything.”

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.

           “Seriously, what is wrong with you.”

           Beep. Beep

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” I groaned, turned on the phone checked settings and turned it back off.

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           “Just stop.” I shouted throwing the phone against the wall. It fell the screen broke off along with the back exposing the battery. I winced picking it up.

           “And I just got it too.” I said.

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” I dropped the phone stumbled back a few paces and fell on the bed, and continued to stare at the broken phone as Siri kept saying.

           Beep. Beep

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           Beep. Beep.

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           Beep. Beep

           “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.”

           Beep…