The Stars Up There

Stars, they shined so brightly up in the sky. Billions and billions of them. Some in clusters and some further apart but nonetheless they each had a brilliance unlike any other. I couldn’t see such sights from the streets or rooftops of the city. The skies there had always seemed to have hidden the twinkling lights. How long had it been since I visited the countryside? Probably years, many, many long years. The stars seemed to have increased in numbers since I last saw them, much like my graying hairs. 

Some say that once you die, you become a star, shining up there in the sky, watching over everyone. Is that why they’ve increased? Looking at them from down here makes me feel a bit lonely. It was harder to breath with my occasional hacking. I’d always cover my mouth with a handkerchief someone once gifted me. It was a pale yellow with orange strips on it, I can’t seem to picture who had given it to me since old age has caused my memories to become little rusty but whoever it was had a terrible taste in fashion. 

Speaking of bad memory, I can’t seem to remember the last time I was able to relax instead of cough. My lungs weren’t as good as they used to be. Walking wasn’t such of a headache either. There was a time when instead of walking up the path to this hill, my legs would kick up a fuss in their impatience to reach here. I used to come here with a friend, we were kids and we would sit on the grass and count the stars. I loved sitting and doing that with her. Later, she had become both a lovely life long companion and friend. She cooked the best food and sang while she did so. She had a beautiful voice. 

She would welcome me back home everyday from work with a wonderful smile. We had never had children, never felt the need. We always felt complete as two. There were times where I was angry with her, like the time she left me to become one of the many stars up there. Then too she smiled. 

I refused to leave my house for days after her absence. It felt like there was a hole in my heart. Every single day was dull and grey without her. I barely ate or did anything. I was rescued from that monotone circle of life by an old friend. He had brought it upon himself to drag my depressed being out of the house. Looking back at it brings a smile upon my face. My saggy face muscles, no doubt show more that my smile but it was there nevertheless. He had taken me on a boat for fishing, I didn’t feel like it at first but by the end we had caught quite the fish. It was as big as my arm. The man had a fulfilling life before also ascending to become a star.

There were many others who left to turn into stars. Like the kind sister at church who loved to chat merrily about all the different dishes she would cook for us from her grandma’s cookbook when we came over. Though that never happened. There was also the old florist across my house who had the freshest of flowers. I was his regular costumer. Always bought a colorful bouquet from him when I visited the love of my life. His grandchildren now take care of his humble shop. 

I knew another old friend, he was quite the drinker and lacked manners. Always came to my place in his glory, uninvited and unannounced. The only reason he was let into my house was because he brought bottles of really good beer. We chatted over everything and anything when he was over. His drinking habits were most likely the reason he fell into an endless slumber. Then I had a crappy grumpy neighbor who complained over the tiniest of things and we argued over the most ridiculous things. Things like why our doorbells sounded the same or why we had to see each others faces when leaving the house in the morning. I always had the advantage in our arguments and I drove her nuts till she was as red as a tomato. The sight was quite amusing.

Those were the days to be remembered. Some sad and some wickedly good. I gulped in the fresh country air and found myself in another coughing fit. I cursed at the effects that time had taken over my body. I put the silly handkerchief to my mouth and muffled my coughs in it. I don’t know why I hadn’t thrown the stupid cloth out by now and bought a better one but my heart seemed to have a lingering attachment to it. Whoever gave it to was also most probably a star by now. I removed the handkerchief from my mouth as the irritation in my throat eased. A red spot stained the cloth and I calmly watched it as the redness spread slowly, much like how poison does in your body. 

I folded it once and wiped my lips, then folding it again, I place it back in my trouser pockets. I looked back up at the stars. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. I counted. I counted them for quite a long time, still I was no closer to finding out how many they actually were up there. I thought about which stars were the people I knew. Were they the ones shining brightly, were they together, the ones farther away or the ones that had shone weakly. I didn’t know.  

What was so great about becoming a star? Would I know once I become one? Thinking about this I smiled again. I had come here to the countryside on vacation, leaving my job, house and everything in the city, knowing that this would be my last vacation. I would also become a star very soon and the thought brought me peace. I won’t feel so alone once I become one, I’ll join everyone else up there, I thought as I continued to look up at the stars.