The Life Of Poppy

They call me “Poppy”… though I can’t for the life of me figure out why. There’s nothing remotely flowery about me. I can’t even see the colour red. I am somewhat addictive, maybe that’s it? People can’t seem to get enough of me. 

I couldn’t tell you how old I am either, not that it matters, I can still move around exactly like I used to. I’m supposed to have many lives anyway so really, I could be any age and no-one would know. Enough about me for now, I have a problem.

I’ll never understand my family. 

They ask me all the time what I want when I couldn’t be making it any clearer for them. I swear it’s like they can’t understand what I’m saying. Anyway, I just say it louder and louder each time and they eventually get the message. 

Every time I bring them a present they throw it away almost immediately, making the most disgusted faces. They must know how hurtful that is - don’t they know how much effort I go to? 

Mealtimes are annoyingly rigid despite my continued requests to change the timings to whenever I demand food. 

They blow hot and cold too, some days I feel all the love and affection I could possibly handle and then out of nowhere they shut me out. I did nothing wrong either! It’s not my fault they don’t understand how to groom themselves properly. Anyone in my position would get frustrated… sometimes I can’t help but knock some things over. I guess I can get a little angry.

I remember one time they had the cheek to go out for the day, leaving me to my own devices. I was so bored that I knocked over some dumb plant pots. Still don’t understand why I got in trouble for that, what did they expect? I could have done so much worse. Let’s just say I have big plans for the curtains the next time they try to pull that crap.  

They have a really dumb animal living with them, some great lumbering beast they call a “dog”. I’ve never seen anything like it in my entire life. He’s ridiculously excited whenever they come back from their weird hunts where they never catch anything. If I was that unsuccessful I wouldn’t be able to show my face! 

I feel like they are setting him up to fail to be honest, it can’t be easy to catch anything when you have to literally pull them along on a lead every time. 

I have followed them more than once on these so-called “hunts”. No stalking, you could hear them coming a mile off, and they greet almost everyone they meet. No wonder they never catch anything. Amateurs, honestly. I’ve never even seen them try to pounce.

They never listen to my feedback either. I keep calling out to them but they just tell me to “go home”. Rude. I’m just trying to help! 

They’re lucky I even bother to share what I catch with them, not that they act grateful in any way. I should stop doing it really but it’s not in my nature. I guess I am quite giving. 

That “dog”... thing… has a completely unsophisticated palate… I’ve caught him licking the floor more than once - he will eat anything. 

He never seems to do anything for himself come to think of it.. they even pick up after him when he relieves himself - he doesn’t have the decency to bury it! It’s shameful. What terrible manners.

They keep calling him my brother but we look nothing alike, he doesn’t even know proper etiquette - he has to be adopted. I’ve given him more than a few swipes and he still doesn’t get it. Hopeless. 

He’s never more annoying than when I am trying to have a well earned rest and he puts his soggy wet nose in my face. That definitely deserves a swipe. For some reason, the family seems to love him whereas I just about tolerate his presence. 

Back to the family, there’s 3 of them, each one bigger than the next. The smallest one seems to boss the other two about - I respect that but I can’t understand why they listen? 

I’ve tried putting the small one in her place a few times but for some reason that makes the big ones angry with me! I don’t know why, I’m trying to do them a favour.

She has to be in charge, how else would you explain them waiting on her? They bring her 3 meals and several snacks, they clean her, bring her gifts and play with her on demand. 

I really should put in a complaint over this blatant favouritism. I only get food twice a day unless I go elsewhere and look for it. 

At least when she’s asleep the other two can focus on me. Though by then, I’m quite tired.

It seems like they never sleep either. I mean, I get at least 20 hours a day - how are they coping, are they well? I do worry about them. Their diet is something else - all those vegetables can’t be good for you and they are severely lacking in protein. 

Then there’s the weird box they watch, sometimes it has faces in it. I’ve never seen a creature sit so still, staring at the one thing for so long. In my world, It’s rude to stare, you have to at least slow blink a few times and look away into the middle distance. 

I’m surprised they haven’t been in any fights. It’s a little embarrassing if I am honest, to be associated with such useless people. They have a lot to learn, my work really is cut out for me. 

Like I say, I’ll never understand them. I kinda like them despite all of this but then I like everyone really. They seem pretty clueless though so I had better stay put, even if the neighbours house is so very inviting…