Wings On My Feet

One’s past is something that will always stay. Like the skin on your body. A part of you that can never be erased. Etched into the very depths of you. The past can never truly be forgotten. It always haunts you. Makes you remember and regret. Makes you wonder and hope. Makes you feel...a bit lost. It throws you off at your present and interferes with your future. My past in particular is something I can’t forget. No. Rather, I don’t want to forget. I can’t forget. Cause if I do, I’ll forget who I am. Who I once was. I’ll forget what I had to go through just to survive right now in this moment. No matter what I don’t want to forget. They won’t let me. The lives that helped me to escape won’t let me forget. I can’t forget them. I don’t ever want to. I am haunted by my past and till this day the memory of it is so vivid and clear. It’s as if it happened just seconds ago. It’s scary and painful to remember, but I do. Why? In hopes that no one has to experience such inhuman cruelty. To know that the life you live is yours and yours alone. No one should ever be allowed to take away your freedom. Nor the wings on your feet. Know that you can always fly. Fly away at any time. Into the night, into the day, into a new dawn. Let the horizon carve out a path for you to glide on and swore into the endless starry skies...  

I’ve always been on the run. Running into the endless night. Away from those prying hands. Hands that have bound me in chains. That have always kept me hidden and away from the light. I’ve been locked inside their cold dark grasps and I refuse to stand it any longer. Humiliated, tortured, stripped of all my rights. I was nothing but a little song bird kept in a cage with its wings clipped. Now, no longer being able to fly towards the sky and having lost the will to sing, I take it upon myself to still rise. For I will, will myself to. To keep rising even if I’m being stepped on and pushed into the muddy ground. Even if they keep on giving me scars. Scars that cover my body in its entirety. I will show them how those scars define me. That these scars are proof that I have survived all those long harsh years in their grasps. However, I refuse to let them give me any more of their marks. I know I am strong, but there is just so much that I can take. I have always tried to escape from those bloody hands, only to find the attempt to be futile and be dragged back in their midists but now...now I finally have a chance. A chance to escape this Hell. A chance for freedom. Real freedom. Freedom not given to me but the choice of my own freedom and I won’t let anyone take that away from me. I won’t let that chance escape me.   

That’s why, for now I must run. I must run into this endless night. Into this sea of darkness. Running through the forest as branches brush against my bare skin, giving me more scars. As I run bare feet, stepping on broken twigs and the cold damp ground. I will keep on running and let these legs become my new wings. Wings that will lead me to my freedom. Freedom that I rightfully deserve. I could hear not far off behind me, the sounds of the hunting dogs and the Hunters who want to take me back once more. This time for good. Dead or alive, they will take back what belongs to them and I cannot accept that any longer. My lungs burn and I feel like I could faint any moment now, but I keep on pushing forward. Suddenly the trees start to clear and that scares me. If I reach a clearing with no way to hide in the shadows of the trees, I will be shot dead in an instant. I come to a sudden stop and look ahead at what lies before me. In an instant, all my remaining strength drained out of me. I was standing at the edge of a cliff and what lay before me was a vast sea. A sea that stretched on for miles out and the pale white glow of the moon. 

“No way...After everything that I had to endure. After going to such lengths...I’ve reached a dead end once again!” I cried aloud gasping for air and trying to keep the tears from trying to consume me.

“Where is that bitch!”

I heard one of their voices yell. It was near. They would find me soon. What do I do? Should I let them drag me back? Should I put up a fight? Heh. As if I possibly could. What do I do then? Someone please tell me what to do? 

“Run.”

But there’s nowhere left to run!

“Then fly.”

 I sat there on the ground for a second longer and then I got up. I walked to the edge of the cliff and saw the dark waves crashing against the rocks below. I turned around and started to walk back into the forest only to stop at the edge of it. Never again will I let them define who I am. Never again will I let them do what they please with me. I am me and I will not let anyone take that away from me ever again! I suddenly turned around and pushed myself to the limit to make this run. With the last of my withering strength, I jumped off the cliff with my hands spread outwards.

“If I can’t run and seek my freedom, then I’ll fly and choose my own freedom.”

Away from the hands of these murderers. These cruel beasts. Away from the darkness that chooses to keep a firm hold on me while I choose to thrash my way out of its grips. That’s why…

“CRASH!”

I will choose to fly away from their darkness and let the darkness of the sea engulf me instead. At least I get to choose my own darkness. At least I’ve finally run away and let my wings fly. Even if only for a short while...