Author's note- This is about Rachel’s backstory, if you did not read Regret you won’t understand the ending but it’s ok if you didn’t read it.
“Just leave me alone.” I called out as I slammed the door of my room hard. I wanted my parents to know how angry I felt at that moment.
I hated them...my parents. Ok fine, I don’t hate them but sometimes I feel like I don’t belong.
The only person I felt like I loved was grandma Isabella but she had died when I was little. I missed her so much. The charm bracelet she had given me still hung from my wrist. It was my only memory of her...I valued it more than anything...it gave me hope that I will be loved one day.
“Rachel, come on...schools going to start.” My mother called me. Ugh, I know that schools going to start but who cares. I don’t care if I’m late, mom always makes such a big deal out of everything. She always starts to say how she would be the first student in her class early, she was the “perfect example” as my mother quoted her teacher.
My dad, he never seemed to care, all he says is, “Do what your mother tells you to do.”
I felt like I was living among robots, do this or don’t do that is all I ever hear.
I slowly walked to the kitchen, grabbed a toast that mom always makes on school days, again robots always repeat things like a cycle.
“Be a good girl.” My father said, he was reading from the newspaper and didn’t even bother to look up at me.
“Whatever.” I silently replied. Didn’t want a whole lecture not to ‘whatever’ in front of my parents.
I didn’t even bother to hug them or expect them to kiss my cheek because they never do and probably won’t. I’ve never felt like I had a happy family. Robot parents...yes.
I walked across the street, turned right on Fishdom avenue, walked straight, turned left, and walked right. I’ve always been independent ever since I started to go to school. Mom never treats me like well...a kid...she always treats me like...a chore.
“Class, we have a new student today...Kevin Drew.” Mrs.Higgins introduced yet another new kid. Why do we need so many newbies all of a sudden?
I noticed the newbie walk to the front of the classroom as he slowly introduced himself. I was almost half-way asleep as he finished his ‘intro’.
God, why does today have to be so boring.
When the bell finally rang I was the first out of my seat and out the door.
I wanted to meet Mr.Yen, my math teacher before my next class to ask if I could redo my math test. Mom would expect me to be “responsible.”
I was trying to get my math notebook to use for reference and so I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings. I accidentally collided into someone. My first impression, punch him in the gut. The boys in this school always just bump into kids for no reason whatsoever but looking at the boy I was about to pummel I didn’t think he was that type of person, also he seemed lost.
Wait...he’s the new kid. His dark brown hair was a mess, even more messier than my own. His eyes were fearful as he stared at me open-mouthed. I began to feel uncomfortable.
“May I pass?” My teeth grounded as I tried not to make a big fuss over a random guy staring at me like I was his future love or something.
He seemed embarrassed as he moved out of the way but kept going the same way I tried to go. He got out my way... finally but I was already late to see Mr.Yen.
OMG, I guess I’ll need to do it during break.
I looked back at the boy, he still seemed dazzled as he moved the other way. I didn’t know why but I felt something when I looked at his kind face. He seems like a good kid.
I shrugged trying to focus on school but I couldn’t, I kept remembering his face in all my thoughts.
A year later,
“Rachel, come one.” He teased me. “Why can’t I meet your parents, we’ve been friends for a year now.”
“I told you, my parents won’t approve of me being friends with boys.” I replied, biting my lower lip I usually do when I get nervous.
Kevin and I had been best friends since last year. At first we sort of felt extremely awkward with each other but when we started to talk to each other we learned we had so much in common.
“What’s the worst that can happen?” He questioned me.
“You have no idea.” My parents will kill me if they meet my ‘best friend’.
Kevin kept begging me to meet my parents but he didn’t know the consequences...poor guy. I don’t want his feelings hurt by my own parents.
“Ugh, fine...but behave.” I gave in, it was better than being annoyed by him.
“All right!” I heard the cheer in his voice as he stopped bugging me and let me do my school work.
“Promise you won’t jump to conclusions?” I wanted to be assured my parents won’t faint at seeing Kevin.
“Yes.” My mother replied annoyed.
“Ok, come in.” I gestured for Kevin to make his appearance. He hesitated as he entered my house for the first time, he locked eyes with me as he slowly smiled at my parents.
“Who’s this?” I could hear the edge in mom’s voice, great, she was jumping to conclusions.
“It’s not what it looks like, this is Kevin...my friend.” I almost shouted the word ‘friend’.
“Friend?” My father finally spoke for the first time. “A boy...friend?”
“NO, not that kind, just friends.” My face was flushed as I spoke not wanting to embarrass myself in front of Kevin.
My parents looked at each other. This was not good, I cringed as they looked at me in astonishment.
“Ok.” My father replied to my surprise. “Welcome Kevin, I’m glad you’re here.”
“Thank you sir.” Kevin replied, I giggled at his polite tone.
“Yes, welcome.” My mother spoke but only I noticed her suspicious tone.
I’d think my parents changed drastically but they didn’t. I got a big warning from them about “NO BOYFRIENDS”
“I know.” I shyly replied. I don’t think of Kevin in that way...at least now.
2 years later,
“No.” My mother disapproved. “You can’t date him.”
“Because you're too young to decide what is right and wrong.” My mom, the typical “You're too young” mother.
“I am not too young, I’m 16.” Why did my parents need to be so disapproving all the time?
“You’re not 21, only 16.” My father jumped in.
“Who cares, I love him and he loves me, done.” I felt my face heat up. Kevin had asked me to be his forever...my parents won’t even let me be with him for a day, forget forever.
“No, you will regret being with him...I know.”
“What do you know?” Seeing no reaction from her I spoke for her. “Nothing, all you ever cared about was my grades, behavior and making me insane.” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “You just think of me like another chore, did you even want a kid?” Ok, maybe I overdid it. Mom was shocked as she remained quiet the whole time.
“I-I don’t think of you like a chore and yes I did want a child…” Her voice showed the pain I had caused her.
“Then let me be who I want to be.”
“Rachel.” My father spoke up but mom stopped him.
“She’s right, we’ve been too overprotective, she needs to be herself...I’m sorry...for everything” My heart almost broke as I saw my mother cry, she had never cried before.
“Don’t cry.” I pleaded. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, it was my fault, I was too hard on you...but you need to understand that I love you and always will, I just...just wanted you to be successful in your future...but I guess you are old enough to decide that.” I smiled a little as I wiped her tears off and hugged her...actually hugged her. It felt weird. Mom never really hugs me or shows her affection but today my parents were cuddle bears.
“I love you too, mom and dad.” I told them. “But I’m afraid I want to be with him.”
“I understand.” They replied. “But remember our warning...you can easily make mistakes at a young age and regret it later...don’t do that.
3 years later,
I caressed my stomach carefully. My life depended on whatever was growing inside me. I was still in shock of what Kevin did. How could he...after all this...after all we’ve been through together.
My parents were right...for the first time at least...I was going to regret making my own decisions without an elder’s advice...I felt a kick in my stomach. Ok, I don’t regret all of it...I definitely don’t regret having it.
“It’s a girl.” The doctor announced. I was overjoyed to hear the news.
“You are definitely something I don’t regret, my little angel…” I remembered grandma Isabella, her bracelet was gone now but not her memories.
“Bella...your names Bella.” I proudly told myself and hoped my unborn child would hear of her name's origin.
“I love you Bella.”