Why Not?

"Let's do it!" I get on my snowboard and start going down. I am going to snowboard. I know I can make it. My very first competition as a snowboarder. I had only snowboarded for fun before. It was a little hobby. Because it was winter in Idaho, there was plenty of snow. I was at the top of the mountain. I pulled on my goggles. The moment the horn sounded I and all of my opponents are off. I doge all of the trees. I make sure to go around. I can't believe that I'm actually ahead. I look back and reach the finish line. But then, the second place snowboarder crashes into me. I'm on the ground. The last thing I remember is thinking the snow was cold.

Then, black. And silence. I wake up. Where am I? I wonder. I must say it because a nurse answers the hospital. I apparently was knocked out for five days and I saw a little trophy beside me. First Place it reads. I smile. I won, which was worth my concussion. I had won. In the bed on the other side is the second-place winner. They are waking up after the nurse leaves. They look relieved. "I thought I killed you! I only got a minor concussion. I was out for an hour. I woke up a few days ago. I've been here for observation. I'm going home tomorrow. So sorry I nearly killed you."

I nod. I say it's ok. I realize then how much pain I'm in. I ask for some painkillers. They get me some too and then realize that there is a huge bruise on my forehead. I have a mirror on my side table. Once I sit up I see the size of what it looks like is more than the pain. Last time I do competitions. It was fun while it lasted, but the hospital is expensive. I don't want to be here. I'm proud I won. I'm glad I did it. But being in immense pain was not worth it. Especially when someone else got hurt. My team could argue all they wanted, but I was not competing again. Ever.

I think about it more. I'd keep it as a hobby. Then I'd still get to snowboard and no one would get hurt. I would be happy without having to worry about winning or losing. I love snowboarding. I needed to snowboard. Competing would ruin it. I needed to keep it to the side and quit the snowboarding team. I'm not completely quitting. Just quit competing. For now. I still love snowboarding. Thinking about it on a bed got boring. The covers got comfortable and I was warm. The room is quiet. It's visiting hour, and the second place (the name I have for my roommate) is in the cafeteria. He usually is talking.

I fell asleep, and very quickly. I have a nightmare. I see my teammates egging me on and my family smiling at me. Clapping. Like they're proud of me. And I get my trophy and I'm on a podium. I then look to my side and see second place snowboarding which knocks me off. I see myself in a hospital gown with that bruise on my forehead laying on the snow. Everyone comes to my side, looks down at me and shakes their head, and puts the second place on their shoulders. Like he's the one who actually won. Like I'm so disappointing and he's a hero. I wake up crying from my nightmare. Number two is at my side with some tissues asking if I want to talk about it.

I see that five hours have passed. I cry again and tell him to get off my bed. He leaves the tissues, which I use. I tell him I'm sorry, just a bad nightmare. I find my food next to me on a little tray. I eat, but my head hurts so bad I can barely eat. All I can do is eat and sleep. Luckily, two days later I could go to the bathroom without assistance. And number two was gone. But I, I was going to be there a month. I had a terrible concussion. The good news was that I would be good to go and back to snowboarding as soon as I was released. But I was not competing. As many times as my doctors or nurses could have told me that I should. It makes me happy and thus I should.

I don't care anymore. But after being released, I drove to where we snowboarded. The team was there. I told them my decision and they laughed. We worked out that I should stay until the end of the next contest. Which was a month away. I trained harder than ever before. It was like there was more adrenaline in my body. Like there was more of a rush. And during the contest, it was more than ever before. I won that competition too. I didn't get crashed into. I felt like I was on top of the world. I decided that there was nothing that could stop me now. My teammates already knew my decision to stay before I said it.

I went to nationals and made it to the Olympics. My family went to the Olympics and nationals. They were so proud of me. How far I'd come. How good I was. I realized that it was perfect I was. I knew that this was my true purpose. And nothing is better than finding that. If my teammates chose to not argue and respect my decision I have no clue where I would've ended up. I think I would be dying inside. I love snowboarding. I can't live without it. I won the bronze medal, third place, in the Olympics, and second, silver, in nationals. My parents may not always agree with my loving and choosing snowboarding. But they respect it. And they love me for finding something I love.

That was nine years ago. I was on top of my game until there was an accident. I was trying to land a new jump when I broke my ankle. I ended up in the hospital again. Once more, I no longer wanted to snowboard. I decided to go for one last competition. I gave it my all, as my parents cheered me on. I felt on top of the world. But that was my one last shot. I knew I had had a good run, but now it was time I leave my dream. I was so glad I had won. My trophies piled up. But it was time to retire, and I knew it.