Nannas Black Bag

Nanna and I were waiting for an appointment.

I was restless and swung my legs and wriggled about

"Nanna, please can I look in your handbag ", I ask.

My five-year-old self, full of curiosity.

She smiled and laughingly said, " Yes you may ".

I opened the bag that I had been wondering about .

I mean what could be in it? Its quite big and nan always had it with her. I could hardly contain my excitement.

I found a little green bottle with what looked like crystals inside.

"What's this then Nan ?", I ask.

"That ", she replied, " are my smelling salts.

"But what is it for"?

"In case I have an attack of the vapors".

"What are vapors?"

"Like when I'm feeling a bit faint or if I get a shock ".

I undo the little bottle and sniff it.

My nose crinkled,"Oh " I said," that is awful"!

Next, I found a very small ceramic black cat.

"O Nan I like this, what is this little cat doing here?"

"That's for luck, my lucky black cat ", she replied.

Next, I found a little bit of black rock.

I held it up and said,"What's this then Nana?"

"That is a little bit of coal, also for luck", she replied.

"Well," I said, "You must be very lucky"!

She smiled and said, "Well I am, having such a lovely little granddaughter like you !", she laughed.

"Can I dance for you, Nana"?

I jumped up and spun in circles. I Imagined being a ballet dancer in a pink TuTu,

Listening to music that only I could hear.

"I hope you will always be lucky and dance through your life dear SheShe," she said.

She smiled and hugged me close.

I remember her with great love and my grandfather too

Who would walk me to school down Tipperdore lane,

Flint walls on either side -

Almost surreal.

He would check his watch to make sure we would be on time.

I would follow him around his garden as he worked.

Every morning he would raise the union jack up the flag pole at the end of the garden, with great pride.

He was in the trenches in the first world war,

Which he never mentioned.

I would watch the goldfish in the pond with the cat Vicky.

The years passed and I surprised them with a visit. I had caught a train to London then another to Broadstairs. It was a lovely spring day and they both hugged me, "What a lovely surprise" they said.

The next day was Sunday and they asked if I would like to go to church with them, at St.Peters church up the road.

We walked arm in arm quite slowly as they were aging now.

As we sat in the church the sun shone through the stain glass windows and we sang the hymns. I looked at them both and

realized how lucky I had been with such lovely people in my life, and savored this very special time with them , when we sang and prayed together in the church on this beautiful spring day.

We returned home slowly taking in the blossoming trees. We had put the roast on before we left and sat around the table and relished the lovely lamb and mint sauce, roast potatoes and carrots, and peas.

I am so happy now in retrospect and many many years later to have these memories of them. They passed of course reaching their mid-eighties.I think they had a good life and had four lovely children and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

When I was five we lived with them in London for a short while.It was at WoodGreen.The garden had been immaculate there too and the flag had been raised religiously every morning. I think my Grandfather treated the taking down and the raising of the flag as a kind of thankfulness that we had won the war and that he had survived the horrors.

He was a mild man with kind blue eyes that would crinkle at the edges when he smiled. Funny, I can see his face so clearly now after all these years. I tear is in my eye, I wish that I had spent more time with them over the years. They sold the house in Mannock Road and moved to Broadstairs when he retired.

Broadstairs is lovely with its little cobbled lanes and pretty small harbor. We had in the past all gone to Broadstairs for holidays when they had a bathing hut on the beach.

All the family would come and we had great fun rain or shine. There was a gas ring so we could make tea. We would walk along the cliff tops and the smell of wallflowers is always a reminder of this time.

Mum and Dad decided to move to Los Angles where my Uncles lived. Of course, my grandparents were very sad and I hugged them but was filled with the excitement of an adventure across the sea to another place that had cowboys and Indians!

However, we returned 5 years later, Mum was homesick and stayed with them for a while again.I could twirl a baton and dance like a Navaho Indian! I had been on many adventures to the Cottonwoods and Lake arrowhead and down the coast to Mexico where Mum and Dad bought me a pink silky shawl which I tossed around my neck flamboyantly! My Father loved adventure too! He taught me to swim and dive and many hours were spent in pools!

We travelled back by greyhound coach and I was mesmerised by the changing scenery deserts and fir trees, rivers, huge cacti. In the south saw little shacks with coloured families sitting on their porches,I was surprised by this.I was also surprised by separate toilets for coloured people."What is this", I asked Mum, as we had not seen this in Los Angeles. In fact, there were no coloured children in the various schools I had been to.I was shocked that I didn't know about any of this! So we returned to the Uk on the Queen Elizabeth and arrived in Southampton on a grey and depressing day , so different from the brilliant sunshine in LA

I was sooo happy the see my grandparents!

Grandfather played the piano and the family all stood around singing.

I had an American accent and was known as the yank at St. Peters school. I carefully practised The calf walked up the path and made me laugh, tomato and water to irradicate all traces of the long A.I mean I am English!

We moved to Ramsgate which is quite near to Broadstairs and I went to quite a rough school where they called me the snob because of that accent,o noooo ! So then had to soften it! I had been to ten schools by now. The first was Mannock Road school in London near Nanas .before we went to the USA The little wooden desks were shiny with polish and Nan gave me a little tin of lavender polish and I can remember it now as I polished the desk I felt I had done this before - a very strange thought for a 5-year old I think! Our books were left in our desks and we had ink wells!

Well, I think I have covered my feelings and depicted a picture or snapshot if you like of that time that was spent with my grandparents thought I hadn't intended to involve my journey to the USA but feel it is relevant.

So lucky to have had them in my childhood! Yes, I remember the waiting room and

"Yes, Nana, I have danced through my life!"