Savage Science

“Live in 3..2…1”, said Serena and started talking, “Welcome to the ANN news. Today we have two very special guests with us. On one side we have Mr. Robert Stewarts, the Head Of WASA, the Western Aeronautics and Space Administration and on the other side, we have Mr. Henry Geller, who is a middle-class, common man. The debate is whether WASA’s work is worth the money it gets from the Government. So, Mr. Robert, let's start the Debate. Robert starts, “I really don’t understand why such a man has been made sit in front of me who has no knowledge in Science”.

“I also do not understand, why a man who has no knowledge in Economics is sitting in front of me”, said Henry.

There is huge laughter in the Audience.

“That’s quite funny Mr. Henry. It is clearly evident from your statement that you have some issues with WASA”, said Robert

“Yes. Yes. That is why I am here in the first place. And from how WASA works, it is clearly evident that you do have some issues with the economy”, said Henry

The audience laughed again.

“What would make you think that?”, asked Robert

“What research you do is not worth the amount Government spends on you”, said Henry

“So you are accusing us that we waste the funds of Government?”

“If I were a politician, I would have preferred that statement, you know it's quite straightforward and rude but I would like to change the statement a bit. I would rather accuse you that you are wasting funds of tax-paying people of this Country”.

“That’s not true. Every research we have done till this day, is worth the money”.

“So let us talk about the latest research known as F1 which is trending nowadays”.

“Sorry. That is confidential. The research is still going on”.

“Okay. Name your other researches”.

“Fine. We have recently discovered Methane Ice Snowcaps on Pluto”.

“Hmm. I purchased a Chocolate yesterday”, said Henry.

“Excuse me”, said Robert.

“You know a little secret. My aunt sometimes pees inside her dress”, said Henry.

Robert stood up. He said, “What nonsense is this?”

“I am telling you my secret”, replied Henry.

“Why are you giving all this information to me?”, said Robert angrily.

“It will be useful to you”, said Henry, smilingly.

“Oh, Crap! What will I do of such Information?”

“Exactly. That’s my point. What will I do with the information you told me. I bloody don’t care that Pluto’s mountains have Ice Snow Caps. Whatever ‘Caps’ do the mountains of Pluto wear, for me, that information is a pure ‘Crap’.

Robert was furious now. He knew that Henry had slapped him real hard. He angrily said, “Okay. You know what. We were the first in the World to discover that Pluto is a Dwarf planet”.

Henry shook his head badly. He said, “Sorry sir. You are not getting my point. I really don’t care whether Pluto is a Dwarf planet or Giant planet. You know what? I really don’t care about Pluto itself”.

“Ha. You ignorant human, who is devoid of the sight of the future. We may be living on Pluto in the future”, said Robert.

“Ha. You ignorant human, who is devoid of the sight of the present. Elon Musk is wrecking his brains on going to Mars and you are worried about some crappy caps on mountains of Pluto, which is as away as you are from your Intellect”, said Henry.

“Mind your Language Mister. Who are you to question my knowledge, you Beggar”, said Robert angrily.

Selena had to intervene. The audience had gone mad. There was Chaos in the Studio.

“Please mind your Language, both of you. Do not take this News Channel for granted. Behave like the respected citizens of the Country. Millions of people are watching us. Please be Civil. Let's take a break.”, said Selena.

Both of them got seated. After a few minutes, both looked calm and composed. The break was longer as the advertisements were flushing in from all over the World. This heated debate captured the eyes of millions of viewers. The Channel never expected such participation from the people, all over the World.

“Welcome Again! The debate is between Mr. Robert, Head of WASA, and Mr. Henry, a Common Man. So continuing the debate, Mr. Henry, do you think that WASA should stop working?”

“No. Of Course not. I am not suggesting that. I am just saying that WASA should use the budget properly”, said Henry

“Listen Mister. You are speaking very ill of WASA and the Government. WASA uses the budget very efficiently. We respect the Tax-Paying People of the Country”.

“Then please, do something for them”.

“Excuse Me”.

“Use the Budget and make something, which can be useful in our day-to-day lives. Can you list any Research which suggests that?”

The WASA head was bummed. He really didn’t know what to answer. He was clean bowled. He fell silent. He calmed himself.

“Any answer, Mr. Robert”, asked Selena.

“Sorry”, he said and looked in the direction of Henry and said, “Don’t get me wrong Mr. Henry, but because of people like you, a country cannot prosper. A Scientist imagines a better future and then works on it. Do you even know who a scientist is? A Scientist is somebody who has the courage to do an Experiment. And when you do an experiment, you can either pass or fail. But a Scientist takes the risk despite the failure, he may face. The Scientist knows that a huge sum of money is at stake, but then too he takes that risk. I want to ask you, Mr. Henry, for whom does he/she take that risk? For himself/herself? How can he/she take such a risk for himself/herself, when he/she knows how great the consequences would be?  Do you know what consequences does a Scientist face, when he/she takes a risk? Let me tell you. The whole world looks at him/her as a failure. All his/her past achievements are discarded. He is treated with at most disrespect. But even that is fine. A scientist can tolerate the disrespect upon himself/herself. But a Scientist could never tolerate disrespect to Science. What you did Mr. Henry was truly wrong. I am a Scientist too and Science is like my mother. You have insulted my mother on this very show. I could not help but ask you to sincerely apologize to Science, my mother”.

The audience applauded like hell. Everybody turned into Robert’s favor.  Social media was booming on Robert’s side. There were hashtags like #respectscientist, #sciencelove, #scienceismother. Henry knew what a game, Robert had played. Serena then said, “We will see what will Mr. Henry reply to this after a short break. Stay tuned to the World’s NO 1 trending debate”.

Henry closed his eyes. He only opened them after a long break. He started, “Very nice speech Mr. Robert. Deeply moving. Do you have kids?”

“Yes. Two sons”, replied Robert

“Is there anything, that they have wished for and you have not given? Like some chocolates or toys?”

“No. I granted them what they always wanted. Hey! They are my Children”.

“Oh! So you do not know the feeling when a child asks you something and you cannot give it. I had those feelings you know and trust me, that is the worst feeling in the World. I am a Common Man and I do not have much money. I hate the fact that there is so much tax on the toy or chocolate my kid wants. I hate the fact that I could not buy the toy for him and I hate the very fact that the tax I am paying is going for something which is not giving me anything. Am I paying tax for discovering snowcaps on the mountains of Pluto? Can I even digest the very fact that I am not able to give my Kid something, my kid wants just because my money is used in research which is not leading me anywhere. I respect Science but tell me one thing. How do I respect anything with a hunger in my stomach? Man, first needs to conquer poverty, then only he should conquer the things that are secondary. I will ask you just one question. Can you do any kind of Research, if you have not eaten for 2 days?”

The entire studio was awfully silent for three seconds. They then applauded even with a greater force than they applauded for Robert. The Digital World again changed sides. There were now Hash Tags like #foodfirst, #WaterInMyHouseBeforeWaterOnMars. Robert was completely blown away. He had now lost his calm completely. He felt agitated. He was angry again. Serena then said, “What will Robert answer to this, we will see after a short bre….”, before she could complete her sentence, Robert came forward and said, “The hell with the show. I am leaving. I cannot tolerate an illiterate man. I could not stand in a place, where Science has no respect”. Serena tried to call him but he wouldn’t stop. He was about to leave the stage when his phone beeped. He saw something and smiled cunningly. He went on to the stage again and said, “Hey Henry. You were asking me about the F1 research, right? So here it is. I just got a message from my Research team. You kept saying the whole time, that we waste the funds of the Government. Now listen to this message”. He cleared his throat and said, “Sir, we are happy to inform you that we got the results from the F1 research. After extensive research, it is been discovered that there exist some unicellular organisms in the poop of a Frog”. Robert said it with a proud face.

Henry stared at him for five seconds and then laughed. He laughed real hard. He then said, “Mr. Robert. I didn’t know the F1 Research meant Frog1 research”. He laughed and laughed continuously and then said, “You were right all the time. I totally agree with you. I lose Mr. Robert. WASA had been using the funds of the Government efficiently. I mean to discover the organisms inside a Frog’s poop shows how well you are using the funds of the Government”, he said laughingly. The whole audience in the studio started laughing. Robert really didn’t know whether he had won or lost the debate.