Brenda and Me

“Oh you poor little puppy” I exclaimed as I saw the little dog who was being carried by her owner. “What happened” I asked her. Her little dog had it's tiny leg in plaster and she looked so forlorn. I was at my local general store which is the only shop in our little hamlet checking my mail. I only do this once a week as we don't get much mail anymore, not since you've been able to pay all your bills by email. We began talking about her poor little dog and I must have said something clever and she said to me “What a good turn of phrase, are you a writer?” I laughed, “No” I said “But I was good at writing compositions at primary school, could go on for pages and pages once I got going.” She told me that she was part of a writing group in the next town and they meet once a fortnight on Thursday and that she thought I should go along and have a go. Since they had just had a meeting that day I was very welcome to join them in two weeks time. We exchanged names and phone numbers and I went on my way. Now this may seem to some to be a normal exchange of conversation but to me, who is an introvert it was quite significant. It is not my style to talk to complete strangers like that but she had something, something that drew me to her. I had never seen her before that I could remember but I see her every week now. Not only did I go along to the writers group, as nervous as I was, but I was greeted with open arms and more importantly, open hearts. It soon became apparent that there was something between us, when we wrote stories there was a common denominator. Many, many times we would write about the same thing unknowingly until it was time to read. If our subject was “Ego” we would both write the lines of a song by an Australian rock band, or if it was “Sunshine” our writings went along the same path. It became a little joke within the group how much we felt and wrote the same. But it wasn't just our writing group, we became good friends very quickly, when we talked together it was becoming ridiculous how many times we found ourselves having the same likes and attitudes. When she describes something to me that she does or things she likes I say “Of course you do because I do the same”. It is almost like we were sisters that had the same upbringing, in fact she calls me her sister even though she has three sisters of her own. We are always laughing about our connections. She was born in South Africa and my fathers brother migrated to what was known back in the late forties as Rhodesia but now known as Zimbabwe and because of our closeness we were starting to wonder if we were actually related from way back then. But we haven't found out, we're both too lazy for that kind of research, but how good would it be if we were. Not only sisters at heart but in body too. 

Back when we met I was feeling pretty low, even though I am an introvert I am a glass half full person and my usual friends, {not many} are glass half empty types. I was starting to feel that I should just become a hermit as everyone seemed to be so negative and it was really disturbing my equilibrium. I couldn't see a way out and I became bereft. And then I met Brenda. She was completely different, she was vivacious, she was happy and she was positive. Wherever she went she only ever saw the good in people and I began to feel better. Her, along with the other members of our group started to drag me up and bring me out of my shell. With the unconscious help of Brenda, I started to have some confidence in myself and I came out of my shell, if only to see what was outside but as the years go on my confidence grows. 

Now this is not a one way street, no sirree. Because she is so bubbly and happy some people tend to take advantage of her nature to please, this is where I come in. I am a serious person and I am a good backstop for her. I try to inform and give advice that she needs. I remind her that not everyone is like her and that some are not to be trusted. She has had a hard life, rejected by her parents at sixteen because she walked a different line to them, she had to make a life of her own. Married young, three children and then divorce and a new but old relationship blossomed and two more children and then an insidious disease struck her beloved husband and she had to nurse him to his death. With five children under foot, she had no time to grieve and she just had to get along as best she could, and she did.  Her children all grew up and started having children of their own, but that was not the end of her troubles, with a loved grandchild going off the rails her troubles are still very much with her. But we talk, and she relies on me for my steadiness as I rely on her for her positive ways. Personally, life for Brenda has not been kind, along with her family's strife she has had to contend with several bouts of cancer herself, but she has seen it all through and is now on the mend. All of this time she has maintained her happy disposition and she only see's the good side.  But I can also help her as I have had life saving surgery myself, so we can compare notes and help each other along the road to recovery. Now that we are in our sixties it's time to slow down and take things a bit easier and we do that together. I only had one best friend in my life, the person to whom I could trust with my life, friends since we were ten years old but she left me when we were thirty eight from cancer, and I never found anyone else whom I felt I could trust as much as her, but when Brenda came along I knew that she would fill this void. We are just too much the same. I can't imagine my life without her in it now and I pray that cancer will stay away from her and let her live for as long as we can, to be together, to level each other up. Ying and Yang, that's what we are, day and night, up and down, left and right. Soulmates that walked a parallel line to each other but never meeting. Until the time was right and then the earth, the moon and the stars all aligned and we met, never to be alone without each other again.