Teardrops

I'm Shara, I'm 20 years old, a simple type of person, an average girl even though since I was a child a lot of people say I'm beautiful. I'm here at the park holding a coin that I'm going to throw into a wishing well, to wish that this pain inside of my damn heart would fade away. Because of my ex-boyfriend.

It's been two months already since we broke up until now I couldn't believe that we ended up like this, even if our love for each other was unbreakable. Or maybe I was the only one who thinks about that.  

I admit I've lost time for him, because of my work, cause I need to give full attention to my new job. It's tough cause it's been my first job ever so I'm hooked.

But it's not a reason for him to jump into other women right?

The time that I saw him with some random girl I immediately walked toward them and without uttering a word I slapped him and walked away, that's it out one-year relationship ended up like that.

I don't know if what I did was right. He was my first ever boyfriend and the pain that I felt when I saw him at the mall, with a girl talking and laughing while his hands were on the girl's shoulder like he was pushing the girl's head down, they looked like a sweet couple.

"ahhh! so what! they were that sweet! then ok I wish the ants would follow them forever!"

Well, maybe the girl was beautiful and perfect so that's why he replaced me with her.

Good thing my boss assigned me to another branch the next day, so life gives me a break. My family said that Nico always visits our house but I instruct them not to entertain him and let him wait outside of our gate.

Until then I haven't seen him. I don't know if I could forget him cause until now the pain was still here in my heart.

After I throw the coin and wish, I turn around so I could go home but I stop when I think I saw him again.

Did I see him again? cause lately I have been seeing him as a ghost he was everywhere but in a distance only so didn't know if it was real or just part of my imagination maybe because I miss him…

I slipped into my car cause my tears were starting to fall again. But to my horror, his image slowly walked toward me. And just a second he was knocking on my car window.

I just looked at his dark deep blue eyes, his perfect nose, and red shade of lips but the smile into it that I really love from him was not there anymore. He was seriously looking at me. But still, I miss him even though he was not mine anymore…

 I composed myself before I got out of my car. Maybe this is the time that I would talk to him. I won't run away and I need to face him.

We've just been looking at each other for about a minute So I show him my best fake smile. It's so funny because I couldn't see anything other than him.

He smiled at me. Like the way, he smiles at me heretofore.

shit, I want to cry again but I need to restrain myself to retain my fake smile. So he would never see because I'm still hurting deep down.

"How are you?" he said, the nerve! I want to tell but I want to show him that I'm ok. I smile and say the lamest answer, "I'm ok"

Mico takes a deep breath. 

"Maybe you're curious why I'm here ?"

I'm just smiling like an idiot. All I want to do is to slip inside of my car and drive home to curl my body in my bed and cry.

But I just need to endure and look at him like I'm not crushing inside. 

Is he that numb? Won't he feel how uncomfortable I am?

"Actually, I was always come here since we broke up after all this is the place we first meet right? I want to say that I would be going to follow my parents in America. I just couldn't go without telling you and maybe seeing you for the last time." Mico smiled and added, " I haven't thought that I could really see you now, and I'm so grateful because of this. Sha, just let me shamelessly tell you for the last time how much I love you…"

"Shara, I love you… you're the only girl that I love like this. But it's ok even if we ended up like this, cause you look happy with your life and into him... I mean to your new boyfriend. What was his name again? Alex?"

Mico face slowly come near mine,  and kiss my forehead, then said "goodbye"

He steps backward and smiles again. He turns around and walks. I was stunned, I don't understand… he was walking slowly and the pain that I feel inside intensified. I couldn't breathe my tears falling uncomfortable. Can someone tell him that I was hurting… 

But when he was maybe twenty steps away from me, he turned around and talked again. 

"oh, by the way, the girl at the mall was my cousin…" he shouts while walking backward. But he stopped when he saw that I was crying, he'd run back to me, and when he was in front of me he wiped my tears.

"stop crying ok, I still hate seeing you crying you know." He was panicking while wiping my tears that flowed nonstop.

I sob and try to stop crying, and when I did it I shouted at him.

"YOU! how dare not to explain to me! I thought that you have another girl! you know that I LOVE YOU MORE IN THIS WORLD! but…" I stopped my head and said… "Alex was not my boyfriend but my boss. How could I make him my boyfriend that man was gay! and you're leaving! FOR PETE SAKE! you could even try to fight for that love that you were telling me."

All the words that I still want to tell are interrupted when he hugs me tight.

"Have you forgotten you leave me without explaining? I come to your house but you won't face me. And your family said you're assigned far away. TSK... and you slap me, it hurt you know" Mico chuckle… and hug me more tightly.

"I visited you many times at your working place but I don't have a ball to show myself every time I see you with your boss. His perfect guy for you… god.. misunderstanding, damn! next time we have to wait for an explanation from each other okay…" I just nod…

 I couldn't believe that my wish would be granted that easily... to fade away the pain…