FATHER, BRADLEY THINKS HE’S GAY
Hold on, hold on, I’m coming. Hey Sista, c’mon in.
Hey Bradley how are you?
Okay I guess, what’s up?
Not too much I just wanted to know what you were doing next week.
You mean in terms of. . .
I mean are you going to be around. You don’t have any out of town gigs do you?
No, I guess I’ll be around, why? Hey, do you want some coffee?
Yeah, I’d love some. Well it’s about mom. Darren and I are going to try to get away for a few days and I was wondering if you could take over mom duties for a while. Nothing too complicated, just make sure she gets to day care and do a little grocery shopping if she needs it. I don’t have any doctor’s appointments scheduled so you don’t have to worry about that. The cleaners have already come this week, so that’s taken care of. It should be a pretty slow week.
Terry, that’s a big commitment, I don’t know, It ruins my scheduling to be compromised like that. I need to be free to move at a moment’s notice. Did you call Shelley?
Yeah I called her, she’s in Paris next week, you know, for the fashion show. No wiggle room there.
I would have given you more notice of course, but Darren’s company is sending him to London last minute to close a deal, so we thought it would be the perfect time for me to tag along. I’ve never been to London, and I’m kind of excited. His parents are going to watch the kids. So what do you say?
I’d love to help you out, but I couldn’t do it without major planning and getting back-up. You know how it is Terry.
Yeah, I do, but that’s not fair to me. I‘ve planned my life around mom for the last fifteen years. I’ve included her in everything. I’ve made sure she hasn’t been alone since Dad died, and frankly, I need a break and I’m sorry I didn’t give you more of a heads up, but it is what it is. You have to admit, I rarely bother you or Shelley to watch her, and I really need a break because I feel like my head is going to explode. You know when you reach a certain point, and you just can’t go any further? I need a break now.
You’ve been great with mom, but I hope you see my side of it here. Work comes first in my life. I need to be available in case something happens.
Something is happening Bradley, your sister is asking you, almost begging you to step up, be a mature adult, pitch in and help with mom. Why should I sacrifice my life because you’re not quote unquote “available” to watch her for a couple of days. Really? Are you that much more important than me, or is your life more important than mine?
I didn’t say that Terry, you know I don’t think that, but admit it, you and Mom get along much better than she and I do. We always end up fighting about one thing or another. I love her but she gets on my nerves. We’ve always been oil and water if truth be told. Besides, she won’t stop complaining about my choices, and my patience has run out. I’m free to love who I want and I don’t need her approval. I’m just sick of her holier than thou attitude and if she doesn’t approve of the way I live then she should keep her damn nose out of my business!
I know Bradley, I know and I am sorry for that. She’s old school and not comfortable with alternative lifestyles.
Well isn’t that polite, alternative lifestyle? I’m gay Terry, gay, and if the two of you don’t like it, that’s just too damn bad!
Bradley you know I don’t judge you, so don’t even go there. I understand your relationship with her is difficult but I’m not asking you to spend long hours by the fire chatting with her. Just look in on her and make sure she has everything she needs. She’ll be fine until I get home.
No, I’m not willing to put myself through that. You remember the doctor told me to try to avoid stress and spending time with her is like walking into the snake pit. I’m getting all sweaty and breaking out in hives just thinking about it for God’s sake.
Do you remember the time when I was 14 she dragged me to church to see Father O’Connell and announced to half the town, “Bradley thinks he’s gay”, and Father O’Connell wanted me to pray with him. I never forgave her for that. I was totally humiliated. I thought because she was my mother I could tell her my secrets and she would respect and protect me, but she didn’t. I cried myself to sleep that night, and was afraid to show my face at church for weeks! No can do, sissy, no can do.
Bradley, I’m so sorry, but Mom and I had our rough patch too. You probably don’t remember much about it, but when I was a teen, I got pregnant; it wasn’t Mom who took me to the doctor, it was Aunt Jean. Mom was overcome with grief and shame and told Aunt Jean she had to take me because my own mother couldn’t look at me, I was so disgusting. I felt ashamed and dirty. They were fighting all the time, and she said terrible things about Dad too. I think he cheated on her, although God knows no one would blame him. Anyway she told me I would turn out to be the town whore and no respectable guy would want me. I was seriously depressed after that whole episode, which led to a troubled time in my life. You know, the drug thing.
I didn’t know that Terry, Mom kept her secrets well hidden. Geez, I’m sorry. Come get a hug.
Why do you do it?
Why do I do what?
Why do you take care of her. It would be easier to put her in a nursing home, right?
Yeah, it would be. I guess I couldn’t handle the guilt.
Guilt? Guilt over what? She would never win “Mother of the Year” that’s for sure.
I know, but she’s my mother. It wouldn’t be right.
Well like I said Terry, I don’t...
Oh, hold on, it’s the day program. I’ve got to take this, you never know what she’s gotten into now.
Yes, this is she. Yes, yes, but what happened? When?
Oh, my God. Yes. Yes. Okay. I’ll get in touch with them, yes. Thanks for calling.
Who was that Terry? Is everything okay? What is it? You look like you just saw the White Walkers.
She died, Bradley. She’s dead.
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3 comments
Well done!
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Good read and a daughter doing the right thing by taking care of her Mom even though it is a difficult job especially when her brother gives her no help and doesn't do his part.
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This story is great, Sharon.
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