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Indigenous Western LGBTQ+

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Every day is the same in this town. The sun comes up, people go to work or school, and some just sit around smoking packs all day. Always seeing the same faces, the same run-down buildings, and the same view of rocks and country going on for miles and miles. The dull browns and reds of my desert home make it all the more mundane. My family has lived on this reservation, of what is now southern Utah, for generations now. My grandfather started his own horse ranch so our poverty-stricken community would have a place to keep their beloved animals. He also set it up as a way for his lineage to have a source of income. I grew up riding horses with my mom, who took over the business after my grandfather passed away. There’s not much to do around here, so most weekends are used for exploring. I’m someone who could be described as cold. Pretty ironic for someone who lives in a place where it’s normally well over 100 degrees. But riding is the time when I can let loose. I love the feeling of the wind against my skin and as it courses through my thick black hair. Like mother nature herself is running her hands through it. I liked my life, sure I’ve thought about having more, but I knew “more” wasn’t realistic for me. We can barely keep the ranch open, so college was out of the picture, I never really liked school anyway. So I rarely ever truly yearned for anything more than this small town, knowing I could never escape its grasp. Little did I know someone would come in and shake this town to its core forever.

I was in the stables, brushing my horse, Ginny, her thick black mane resisting the pull from the brush. We both equally hated this task, my black and white spotted horse grunting as I tugged at the bristled hairs. Eventually, I finished, and I walked her outside the stable getting ready to mount her, and that’s when I saw her. She came riding up on her golden stallion, she halted, got off the saddle, and looked at me. Who is this girl? I thought. She had thick golden hair, just like her horse, that stopped at her shoulders. Tan skin that glistened against the heat waves. She wore a belt that had an oval-shaped turquoise gem as the buckle, that was the same color as her bright blue eyes. She walked over to me, and it felt like the sun's rays that were beating down on me got a lot more intense. 

“Hey.” She said, bringing her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun.

I stood there, feeling like all the air got knocked out of my body.

“Uhm, hey,” I said back

“Do you know if the owner is around? I just moved here and was wondering if I could keep my boy here.” She gestured to her horse and it stood patiently waiting for her.

“Oh, well actually I’m the owner- or I mean technically it’s my mom, but I’m the only one here right now.”

Wow. Real smooth Chayton. The girl giggled and stepped closer.

“Well in that case, nice to meet you, I’m Jackie.” She extended her hand towards me, the one she was using to shield her face.

“I’m Chayton,” I said sheepishly, and put my hand to hers. The moment we touched it, it was like a colony of monarch butterflies effortlessly flew through my whole body. And the best part is, I think she felt this was too. We stared deeply into each other’s eyes, the contrasting blue and black swirling into one moment that felt like an eternity. 

“This town might actually be better than I thought.” She said, with our hands entwined together.

Three Weeks Later

“You’re so slow!” She exclaimed as I came riding in the stable right behind her.

“Hey, it’s not like you were the one who ran, I blame Ginny.” I joked and rubbed her black spotted ear with my hand while pulling the hair out of my face with the other.

It was getting late and the sun was just starting to set. Jackie and I had spent the past couple of weeks riding together every day. She says she just moved here from somewhere in Texas. She was living with her mom and also just graduated high school. She wanted a fresh start so she moved here, where her dad is living. Jackie got off and lead her horse, who I learned name is Chester, to his stable. I did the same with mine and as I walked out and closed the gate, I could feel Jackie’s hands run along my sides. She put her chin on my shoulder and then spun me around.

“I had fun today, cowgirl.” She said and bit her lip, still holding onto me. She pulled me into her and started kissing my neck.

“Jackie! Stop you know my mom could catch us.” I didn’t actually want her to stop but I didn’t want my mom to see us even more.

“Don’t worry so much, if she comes in I’ll just say I was giving you mouth to mouth….standing up.”

I grinned and let out a small laugh.

“Wow, I didn’t think you could smile.”

A comment like this typically would instantly cause me to scowl, but coming from her I can’t help but smile more. 

“Hey, if you ever decide to take a break from this place, you should meet me at Mosco’s tomorrow night.”

“But that’s a bar? Neither of us can get in.”

“Not with that attitude.” She winks and lets me go, walking out of the barn, not even looking back at me as she skips away.

I stand there, breathless, completely flustered, and terrified by this girl.

The next night, around 11 when I hear my mom turn off her TV, I slowly open my window and jump as lightly as possible onto the cement below. This isn’t my first time sneaking out, but it’s usually just to walk to the gas station around the block to get a late-night snack. Never to a place I don’t want my mom to find out about. The bar isn’t too far from my house, but the stale heat even so late at night, and my nerves, make me sweat like crazy. As I approach the entrance, I rub my wet hands on my dark blue flared jeans. The obnoxiously large beer-shaped neon sign above the door shines harshly onto me, as I look around for Jackie when suddenly I feel a hand grab my shoulder and tug me back into the alleyway at the side of the bar.

“AH!” I shrieked and fumble backward. The hand lets go and I quickly turn around, ready to fight with my fists up.

“Oh my god, it’s just me”, Jackie snickers, “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you so badly.”

I sigh in relief, and relax my body, lowering my defenses.

“I wasn’t scared, just surprised,” I say embarrassingly..

I then notice how gorgeous she looks. Her hair had the same hue and brightness, even in the dingy lamp lighting. She had bright pink eyeshadow which made her eyes pop even more, along with having glossy pink lips. She wore a frilled tan jacket, and a mini denim skirt, with her signature turquoise belt and white cowgirl boots. Without even thinking I mutter, “God, you’re beautiful.” She steps closer to me and looks up since I’m a bit taller.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” I blush and she grins. I apparently can’t conceal flattery as well as she can, and she loves to see me get flustered.

She takes my hand and pulls me toward the back of the alley, where I can see a door. As we approach I can see the fire escape warning taped along its metal frame. 

“See, we can’t get in this will set off an alarm.”

Jackie glares at me with her devilish eyes, “Watch this.”

Before I can stop her she swings open the door. Nothing happens.

“Ta-Da.” She says proudly and holds the door open for me to come in. 

We spent that night dancing, drinking, and we couldn't get enough of each other. It was a dream. I honestly don’t remember much, but I can remember her wrapped in my arms, and then walking over to the jukebox to put on Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. As she danced to the music, I realized how entranced I am by her, like she has put me under some kind of spell. I marveled at how completely free she is, or at least she seems. Then I remember walking home, drunkenly stumbling my way back home during the early hours of the morning, not being able to contain my joy. Little did I know that would be the last time I’d ever see her.

A couple of days passed and I hadn’t heard anything from her. My mind started to race with thoughts like what if I said something stupid? I was so drunk anything could have happened. The more time that passed, the more I thought of the worst. This is a small town, people talk. What if her dad heard about us being together that night. I didn’t think anyone would care, but I shouldn’t have been so negligent. 

“Chay, can you come here? I need to talk to you about something.” My mom exclaimed from the kitchen.

My stomach drops, and I timidly walked to the dining room from my bed. She knows, she knows, I kept thinking to myself. What if I get kicked out? Before I even reach the kitchen, I have to fight to keep my tears back. But, as I see my mom sitting at the table, she doesn’t look upset, I can’t really read her face or what she might be feeling. 

“Honey, will you sit down.” She says and gestures to the seat across from her.

I carefully sit myself down, staring into her eyes to get any sort of message of what’s about to happen. 

“Do you know a girl named Jacqueline Nez? I think she’s been bringing her horse to our ranch recently?”

I don’t know how to respond. I never lie to my Mom, but my gut is telling me to just shake my head no. I end up sitting there looking at her, trying not to look suspicious but eventually saying,

“Oh, I think I’ve seen her around before, why?” My heartbeat quickens and I quietly rub my hands on my cotton pajama bottoms. 

She sighs and finally looks me in the eye. “They found her body out in the mountains this morning.”

June 25, 2023 03:40

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2 comments

Jim Cowles
22:25 Jul 05, 2023

Your description of the desert was very good. I was interested to see where your story would lead me. Your transition with Jackie needs just a little more go making it interesting. In place of "three weeks later," perhaps you could have elaborated about how your days and nights changed after meeting Jackie; also, maybe a little more about her character. What caused her family to move to the area? Keep writing and let your characters personality come out and let them talk more. Your story has excellent bones. Good luck and keep writing.

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Olivia Inez
23:33 Jul 05, 2023

Thank you for reading my story and for your feedback! I want to expand on this world and will keep your critiques in mind!

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