Out With The Old, In With The New

Jonathan Martin sat at his office desk at Agape Counseling Services in a moment of reflection. He thought back to how far he had come with his life. He thought back to how he grew up in foster homes, unhappy and bitter. His mom (Elizabeth) is a former model. In her youth, she was tall and statuesque, with olive skin, dark brown hair and almond brown eyes. She had legs for days. His dad (Paul) is a former pro football player with a dark secret: he regularly indulges in adult content and is a serial cheater. Jonathan was the result of a one-night stand between Paul and Elizabeth at a New Year’s Eve party.

Shortly after his birth, he was shuttled between foster homes, as his dad wanted nothing to do with him and his mom became a drug addict. He never knew his father; he barely knew his mother when she would check on his welfare, and that was rare. His longest stay was with one of his first foster families, Mitch and Sandra Martin; he stayed with them from the ages of 2 to 6, then he stayed with them again at ages 9 and 10. Mitch is a law enforcement officer; Sandra is a grade school teacher; in fact, she had Jonathan as one of her students. He loved them; they were the first (and only) foster parents to show him what real parental love was. He wished that they would adopt him as their own son.

When he left their home at age 10, it began a downward spiral into truancy and trouble. After he left the Martin’s home at age 10, he was placed into a family that was indifferent to his welfare; they only did it for the extra benefits they were to receive. He got caught up in the wrong crowd. He began to lie, cheat, and steal. He got into numerous fights in school. He was mercilessly teased in school because he was half-black and half-Hispanic, and it was a mostly white school. Unbeknownst to him, Mitch and Sandra were constantly praying for him.

His life began to turn around at age 15. At that age, he was arrested for an attempted murder of an older man. When Mitch saw him being processed, his heart sank. He made it his mission to adopt him as his own son, as he and Sandra have two daughters in college. He would see him and talk to him when he could. He was convinced that the system failed Jonathan and others like him. He vowed to talk to Sandra about this.

Mitch and Sandra had long heart to heart talks about adopting Jonathan. After much persuasion, Sandra was on the same page as Mitch. Mitch called his pastor the next day. His pastor referred him to a local adoption agency. He called Bethany Adoption Services to inquire about adopting a foster child already in the system. He and Sandra had cared for the child on two different occasions and the case worker marveled at how well-cared for the boy was. He remarked to the worker that the boy he wanted to adopt was age 15 and is a mixed race boy. The worker raised her eyebrows.

“That is certainly a different request. I can count the number of parents wanting older kids to adopt on one hand. I’ll see what I can do.” The worker, named Melinda Andersen, replied.

“This one’s different. He’s special to us. We have cared for him on two occasions and he’s been a joy.” Mitch said.

“I’ll schedule you and your wife for an appointment in a couple of weeks. How would the 22^nd look for the two of you?”

Mitch looked at both his and his wife’s calendars on his phone. “The 22^nd is fine with me. I am beginning my vacation that day and my wife is on her summer vacation from school. Let me talk to her and one of us will call you tomorrow. Put it down as tentative until you hear back from one of us.”

“Good. I have you two tentatively written down for the 22^nd of June in the 9 AM-11 AM window.”

“Works for me, but if we are unable to keep the appointment, we will call you to reschedule. Thank you for your help.”

“You’re very welcome. You have a blessed day.”

“You, too.” Mitch hung up the phone and went about his day. He prayed for Jonathan, that all was going well with him in Juvenile Hall. He was determined to prove that Jonathan was a good kid that was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Over dinner, Mitch and Sandra conversed about the conversation Mitch had with Melinda from Bethany Adoption Services. Mitch remarked that Melinda was very helpful and that she had them scheduled for June 22^nd between 9 and 11 AM.

“She tentatively scheduled us for the 22^nd anywhere between 9 and 11 in the morning.” Mitch said. “I told her that I would talk to you first before moving forward with the appointment. How would that day work for you?”

“I have nothing going that day, except vacation with you!” Sandra responded, tongue in cheek. “Let’s go for the 9 AM appointment. Then we can go out to breakfast afterwards.”

“I have to be in court tomorrow to testify in a couple of cases. Can you call Melinda? Here’s her card.”

“Sure. I’ll call her in the morning.” They finished dinner, cleaned up, and Mitch went to bed while Sandra stayed up for another hour to read a book. Then she went to sleep.

A few days had passed since that evening conversation. Mitch testified in his two cases. Sandra was able to set up the appointment for 9 AM on the 22^nd. Mitch was able to hire the best defense attorney in the state to represent Jonathan. Together, they explored Jonathan’s legal options and prepared their case for trial. The attorney, Tom Friedman, was willing to offer a plea deal: Jonathan would plead guilty to a lesser charge in exchange for his testimony against the other defendants. The District Attorney was having none of it. He wanted to send Jonathan up the proverbial river without a paddle. Friedman was disappointed, and he used that disappointment to fuel a determination to prove his client’s innocence.

Mitch & Sandra met with Melinda from Bethany Adoption Services and they got the ball rolling in the adoption process. They filled out the necessary paperwork, then they hired a family law attorney, Dan Friedman (Tom’s brother) to explore their legal options. Dan Friedman and the Martin’s filled out the necessary paperwork and paid any and all fees necessary to file the paperwork in court and to set a hearing date. They ended up getting a September 15^th court date. Jonathan’s trial was set for September 29^th, two weeks later. The adoption was granted by the court. Jonathan Keyes officially became Jonathan Martin, the adopted son of Mitch and Sandra Martin. Mitch and Sandra wanted to surprise Jonathan after his trial, convinced that the jury would find him innocent. After a three-week trial, the jury found him not guilty, reasoning that while he was in the area, he couldn’t have been the person that fired the actual shot. He was at a nearby party and wandered into the area to check out what had happened. The police arrested him in a case of mistaken identity. After the trial was over, Mitch & Sandra handed him a gift-wrapped box. In the box were his official adoption papers.

“Son, you’re coming home with us for good.” Mitch said, eyes welling with tears. He, Sandra and Jonathan embraced each other tightly. From that point on, Jonathan applied himself. He ceased partying and disciplined himself to study. While he knew he wasn’t the smartest student, he determined in his heart that no other student was going to outwork him for his grades. The difference was like night and day. In his final two years of high school, his grade point average was a 4.0, and he was a National Honors Society student.

For the first time, Jonathan had stability in his life. He has loving parents that encourage him to study and get good grades for college. Given this second chance by an older couple, he decided to pay it forward in college by majoring in psychology, with a goal of being a counselor and helping at-risk youth steer away from the dangers they face. He was an excellent student in college, graduating summa cum laude with his undergraduate degree in psychology. He was accepted into graduate school and graduated with his M. Ed. His emphasis was in counseling, and he became a credentialed teacher and psychologist.

Now a strapping young man in his mid-20’s, with dark skin and short dreadlocks, he certainly didn’t look like any of the grizzled veteran counselors he would be working with. But he did recognize one: Sheena Baer, a child advocate that worked with the courts to represent the child’s best interests. She is now a counselor at Agape. Jonathan recognized her from one of her talks to the juveniles at juvenile hall when he was held there awaiting his trial. He knew then who he wanted as a professional mentor.

They locked eyes, hugged, and compared lanyards.

“Jonathan, it’s so good to see you. You have really turned your life around! How did you do it?”

“Miss Sheena, I was adopted by Mitch and Sandra Martin when I was 15. Mitch took me under his wing and taught me how to be a man. He taught me that I didn’t have to be on the streets to prove myself. He believes in me. He helped me to realize my worth as a man. I quit partying and getting into trouble and studied my butt off. In my last two years of high school, I became a National Honor Society student. I graduated with both a bachelors and masters degree in psychology. Early on, I committed myself to pay it forward and help at-risk youth. Now, here I am!”

“That’s terrific! I’m so proud of you! I’m glad we’re working together now! When I worked as an advocate, I advocated for their best interests. But my heart was in helping those kids get out of their situations and become productive adults. I couldn’t do it in my position as an advocate. Here, I can. I have been here for two years now and I love it here. You are going to have a blast working here.”

Just then, Lupe, the receptionist, interrupted the conversation. “Jonathan, you have your first client. Matthew will be sitting in with you. He’s critiquing you and will only step in in case you mess up, but I know you won’t!”

“I’ll be out front shortly.” Lupe left to her desk in the front. Jonathan and Sheena parted, Sheena to her office and Jonathan to the front lobby.

“Robert Jefferson?” Just then a young black teenager stood up. He was dressed in a loose red and white polo shirt and black pants. He wore basketball shoes, as he was a high school basketball player.

“I’m Robert.”

“Good morning, Robert. I’m Jonathan. I will be your counselor. Please, follow me to my office. There will be another man, Matthew, that’s critiquing me. Pretend like he isn’t even there!” Robert got a good laugh out of Jonathan’s comment. “What brings you here, if I may ask? Matthew, this is Robert. Robert, this is Matthew.” They shook hands.

“My high school counselor referred me here. He noticed my grades had slipped from the previous quarter and when I took a random drug test, I failed and got suspended from the team. That killed me.” Jonathan listened intently, questions going through his mind.

“What kind of drugs are or were you in to?”

“I smoked a little bit of weed back in August. It was me and my boys in the backyard, shooting the breeze and passing around a fatty. I took a few tokes, figuring it would be out of my system by the time basketball practice started. But on the first day of school, I get called in to take a random drug test. I’m like, ‘OH CRAP, I’m gonna get busted.’ Sure enough, I did. I was allowed to stay in school and practice with the team but I got suspended for the first 10 games of the season.”

“How you respond to this will most likely set the tone for the rest of your life. What was going through your mind when you were suspended?”

“I was crushed, man. It felt like my whole world was taken away. I was angry at myself for the longest time. My mom, bless her heart, saw something was off with me, so I came clean with her. It was hard, as it’s just her and I at the house.”

“How did she feel?”

“She was angry, ashamed, frustrated at the fact I was suspended from the team. But she told me something that I think will stay with me for the rest of my life: she told me, ‘Son, no matter what, you are my son. You are going to use this as a learning moment in your life. And I love you’. She hugged me tightly and we both cried.”

Jonathan was speechless for a moment. Then he remembered the question he was going to ask Robert. “How do you feel now, now that the reality of the suspension has sunk in?”

“I’m still a little upset that the suspension is so long. I think two games is fair enough. I would even accept a five-game suspension. Fortunately I can practice with the team but not play in any games during that suspension.”

“How long have you smoked weed?”

“Since I was 13, my homey 8-Ball offered me a blunt and I took a hit. His last name is Ochoa and ocho means eight in Spanish, hence the nickname 8-Ball. He doesn’t do it as often as he used to, but he still does it. It’s alright but I only do it on occasion. I just happened to get caught.”

“Now comes the important question: how will you respond to this situation, and how will you overcome this?”

“I am holding myself accountable to my mom. My coach preaches accountability. I made a decision to buy into what he’s selling. I’m holding myself accountable to my teammates and the coaching staff. I have already told them to remind me not to smoke weed.”

“If you can, be tested every month.”

“I’m getting tested on Friday, in fact. If my levels go down, then the athletic department will consider reducing my suspension. But they won’t eliminate it.”

“Sounds like you have a good support system in place already. Lean on them, especially your mother.”

“Yeah, this scared me into doing more studying and less partying.”

“Sounds like me when I was your age!”

“Really? Nooooo!!!!!”

“Yeah, I was young and stupid. I was some place where I shouldn’t have been. Some dude nearly got capped. I was arrested for attempted murder. I was in the area, and I admitted to that, but I didn’t pull the trigger. The dude who did is in prison for 20 years. I was found not guilty and was set free. The DA at the time was insistent on no plea deal for all four of us. Good thing, because I would have got four years in juvenile hall, and one year in state prison. A side story, one of his ADA’s ran against him for district attorney and won!” Robert’s eyes were wide as saucers. “You have a similar decision, a fork in the road if you will. I want you to make the right decision. I want you to become a productive adult. Find your purpose in life and fulfill it. In the meantime, see Lupe at the front desk to make an appointment for next month. Thank you for coming in.”

“Thank you, Mr. Jonathan. Thank you for listening to me. See you next month.”

Matthew critiqued Jonathan by giving him feedback on his appointment and on his social skills. He noted that Jonathan’s strength was listening, but he felt he could have asked a few more questions. Matthew left Jonathan’s office for his own appointment with a client. Jonathan stood in the doorway, reflecting on his first counseling appointment as a counselor. Now he purposed to be the best counselor he could be.