Of Alley Cats, Crows and Mice

“I was born in the basement window well of that hardware store, the white alley cat with black spots pointed to the right of the building, my mother told me this when I was just a one-year-old kitten. I had three brothers and two sisters, and we spent our infancy clinging to her and nursing. We’d cry when she’d run off to catch food for herself, but she always came back and that’s why I am proud to be here tonight announcing that we have acquired fourteen mousetraps for our nursing mothers.”

The crowd of strays erupted into high meows and stuck their noses in the air at the mice who were watching from the high rain gutters of the building adjacent to the alley. The cats knew the mice spied and loved putting on airs for their viewing pleasure.

“Now I’d like to present the first mousetrap to our newest mother, Sasha of Filmore Alley.”

The meowing began again as Demetrius, the son of Vanessa brought the mousetrap over to the new mother, then showed her how it worked. She was delighted and purred waiting for her first catch.

“Did you hear that? Fourteen traps!”

Hans hushed his daughter Beatrice. “Yes, I heard, now keep quiet!” He said to her in a whisper.

The crow, who went by the name of Mateo after his father, flew over and landed next to the mice.

Demetrius ordered the servants, usually cats who were either too old or too young to hunt, out with traps to give to any other mother cats in the alleys. The rest would stay in the window wells in the Alley until another cat had a litter of kittens. Hans was glad to know where the rest were hidden should there be a chance to steal them.

“Caw! I see those pompous alley cats are at it again. Caw! Caw! They’re handing out mousetraps that even we birds might land on and doing so as if they were fantásticos premios! Caw! Caw!”

“They are keeping some of them in the window wells.” Hans told Mateo. Then he sank down further into the rain gutter, fearing the cats would notice them next to the large crow.

“Oh Mateo, what can we do? At least you birds can fly away from a cat.” Hans whispered.

“Caw! Sí that is true, however a mousetrap can seriously, Caw! injure or even kill a small bird. Caw! Caw!”

Mateo spoke quite a bit louder and thrust out his chest proudly. He had heard that the crow was one of the smartest birds and he learned much of human speak in his travels and from his father who was an immigrant from Central America. He was even prouder knowing that he was bilingual, knowing many Spanish as well as English human speak. The louder talking and caws made Hans even more nervous and when he saw a few cats look up to the bird, he nearly fainted dead away.

The two mice shivered remembering seeing a demonstration of the danger of mousetraps at the AOSR (The Association of Small Rodents) meeting. The cats in town were often heard calling it The Association of Stupid Rats, Hans became angry thinking about how the cats mocked them in their highbrow manner, laughing with their noses pointed high in the air. A single tear ran down his face.

Mateo relaxed his chest and leaned over to calm them, rubbing his head over the soft gray fur of the two trembling mice. The other six mice who were also watching the party came over to have their fur rubbed too, all of them trembling with fear.

“Caw! Caw! Caw!” Mateo cried out in sadness for his dear friends, “Caw! Caw!”

The parties always ended with the dance called, The Allie Cat. When Remington, the son of Sam, who led the band began playing the swanky music on his toy saxophone and all the cats lined up to dance, it was the signal for the mice to scatter in all different ways back to their homes.

“Caw! Caw! Wait!” Mateo cried out.

“Meet on top of the drug store tomorrow afternoon, Caw! Caw! I have a plan! Caw! Caw! Caw!” Mateo shook his head feeling sorry for the mice and then stared down at the mischievous alley cats kicking out their paws and even their rumps merrily.”

“Caw! Caw! ¡Gatos estúpidos! Caw! Caw! Caw!!” he yelled at them before he flew away making sure to soar over the cats causing them to lose count and screw up their dance. They shook their front paws at him, but the black bird had already disappeared into the night sky.

When Hans and Beatrice got to their home underneath the Dollar Store, they both sat at the kitchen table which was an empty tuna fish can that was flipped over and covered with a small bit of red and white checked fabric. Beatrice’s mother was already in bed, which was a nearly half full box of tissues for both she and Hans. Their children were all out on their own except for Beatrice who had been the runt of the litter and grew close to her parents by not being able to run off as quickly as the others.

“Did you hear what Mateo said about a meeting tomorrow afternoon?” Beatrice asked her father.

Hans nodded. “Yea, I heard. I hope he’s as smart as he says he is and I sure hope we can find a way to get all of the mousetraps off the streets.”

Beatrice yawned and stretched out her neck. “I’m beat,” she said, “I gotta get some sleep”

Beatrice had her own bedroom with a bed of mostly newspaper and other bits of paper or cotton. They each had one large cotton ball for a pillow. Most of their furniture came from the dollar store that they’d get into through the heating vents. They were always careful not to take too much or the traps would be put out. Once Hans, who found a dollar in the gutter, even left a dollar for the things they took near the cash register, a story he often told at parties.

“Good night sweetheart.” Hans said and took a few drinks from the overturned bottle of whiskey to ease his mind before blowing out the candles and heading off to bed himself.

Mateo flew around the city that night stopping on telephone wires or signs greeting the pigeons who were still up this time of night and telling them of the meeting.

“This is crucial to all birds and mice!” He told them when they protested, and they reluctantly agreed to spread the word. They were, after all in just as much danger as any other animal.

When Mateo saw that the alley was clear of cats, he swooped down to look for the traps. The Alley was pitch black except for the glow of a streetlight in front of the hardware store. The orange cat that was on duty to guard the alley was passed out from too much catnip at the party. The only sound was of a few crickets here and there. Mateo carefully checked the window wells and found a small pile of traps in the center window well. None of them appeared to be set but he could only pick up one at a time in his beak. He took them one at a time up to the roof of the building the mice had been hiding in earlier. After he got them all, he counted them, counting was not his strongest skill and he could only count to three. There were three and three and two, the mice would have to figure out if he got all of them or not when they came to the meeting later in the afternoon. Mateo flew back to his nest in the tall pine tree on 86^th street and fell asleep immediately. It had been a long day.

Hans woke up and noticed sunlight creeping through the hole that led to his home. The morning was beautiful, and he was in a much better mood than he was last night. He got out of bed as quietly as he could so as not to wake up his wife, Greta who was ready to give birth in the next two weeks or so. He made himself a cup of coffee and gulped it down, then had two more cups. He was ready to take on the world, one miserable alley cat at a time he thought to himself. He shook his head fast; he was not going to worry about cats until later.

“Hey dad, good morning.” Beatrice hugged Hans, kissed his cheek and got her own cup of coffee. She sat down at the table across from Hans. “How’s mom doing?” she asked him.

“I’m doing just fine” Greta said coming into the kitchen and taking a long drink of water from the sink.

“Sit down mom and I’ll make you some tea and bread for your breakfast.” Beatrice told her.

Greta kissed Hans then sat down. “I heard you two come in last night. What’s going on with the alley cats?” She asked.

Hans, not wanting to worry his wife, smiled and said, “Well, they’re up to their same old tricks, but nothing we can’t handle. Mateo watched their silly ceremony last night with us and he’s promised to give us a hand should any of those cats start trouble. He’s a good friend to us mice.”

Greta smiled, “yes he is.” She said and took a sip of tea.

“He wants to have a meeting this afternoon with us and some of the other mice on the roof of the hardware store!” Beatrice added sounding excited.

“Now don’t you two start any trouble with those cats! Mateo may be a good friend, but he can also be a bit mischievous if you ask me.” Greta told them.

Beatrice and Hans both nodded feeling a bit mischievous themselves.

Mateo woke up, stretched out his large black wings and yawned. He saw that the sun was only halfway to noon. “Caw! Caw! Caw!” he squawked and flew off to get some breakfast and a good drink of water. As he rode the breeze over some alleys to the stream, he kept an eye out for any traps, he might be able to swoop up. He spotted one hung on top of a telephone wire.

The pigeons must have left that there for me, I’ll pick it up on my way back. Mateo thought to himself.

Mateo swooped down to the edge of the creek that ran under the road in the more quiet part of town, he took a few sips of water and eyed the creek bed looking for worms that might be coming up from the wet dirt. He dug his claws in the dirt and finally found a nice sized earth worm. He gulped it down and took another drink of water. He pecked around for some grubs and other crawling insects. After he had his fill, he flew up to the top of the concrete walking bridge and basked in the warm sun.

If only we could find all the traps. Mateo thought to himself. He was sad that his friends the mice were only considered either pests or food, even for some birds. He knew that mice were needed for food, but the alley cats were the enemies of both birds and mice. He thought of his father who was killed by a large cat while he was looking for food for his family. Mateo would never forget and always stand strong against those terrible creatures. He noticed the sun was getting close to high noon.

“Caw! Caw!” He said, then straightened up, stuck his chest out and took to the sky.

Hans stuck his nose out of the hole and sniffed, his eyes shifted back and forth looking for danger.

“It’s all clear!” He yelled to Beatrice who came running up and out of the hole with her father.

They both looked up at the sun, it was almost noon. “Well, let’s go see what that Crow has to say, shall we?”

“We shall.” Beatrice relied.

They both hurried around the corner staying close to the edge of the stores until the reached the hardware store and scurried up the rain gutter.

Mateo was there to explain how and why the roof was full of mousetraps including the one the pigeons found.

“You got over half of them Mateo!” Gertrude exclaimed.

Mateo stuck his chest out proudly, “Caw! Caw! Sí, over half!” he pronounced lifting his beak toward the sky, seeing the pigeons along with some other birds flying toward them.

Beatrice, who knew Mateo wasn’t the best at counting said, “you got eight of them Mateo, only six more are left to find!”

Mateo looked at Beatrice and nodded in a gesture of thanks. Sí, eight. Caw! Only six more! Caw! Caw!”

The pigeons and the other birds landed on the roof, some of them had traps in their mouths and dropped them on the roof in front of Mateo. Beatrice walked over to Mateo and silently counted six more traps.

“It’s the rest of them,” Beatrice whispered to Mateo, “all fourteen traps!”

“Caw! Caw! Caw! All fourteen, All the traps! Caw! Caw!”

All the mice who came for the meeting were squeaking and jumping for joy. The birds were tweeting, singing and flapping their wings in triumph.

“Caw! Caw! Caw! Atención! Atención! “Caw!” Mateo called out.

It took nearly ten minutes to bring the meeting to order and as soon as everyone had calmed down, Mateo began speaking.

“Caw! We will celebrate tonight, but first we birds must fly these traps far away from here where no cat can reach them. Caw! Caw!”

The birds began picking up the traps until the roof was empty of them.

“Caw! Caw! We’ll meet back here for a grand Celebración my friends at dusk! Caw! Caw! Caw!”

The birds all took off to flight excited to be having a celebration later. Mateo remained.

“Oh Mateo, how can we thank you for protecting us?” Hans asked.

“Caw! By celebrating with me tonight! Caw! Caw!” Mateo said and then flew off, proud of what he had accomplished.

They did celebrate that night with champagne and potato chips courtesy of the dumpster behind the liquor store. Hans told the story about when he left the dollar at the dollar store and they all danced into the night.

Those alley cats would be back though. The next meeting of the alley cats would be there soon and they’ll be so angry to find all of their mousetraps gone!

“Caw! Caw!”