An Inedible Way to Become Fatal

“Ow, what is this?!” Hania exclaimed. “Oh my God, my pencil is broken. Why are there chew marks on it?”

She turned to Sara. “Sara, I gave you my pencil. Did you try eating it? Aww, did you not eat today?”

Sara, a nerd by all definitions, was an introvert who always studied, wore glasses, hated technology, and constantly sought the "why" behind everything. Once, she had asked, “Who ate the Apple logo? Why isn’t it a full apple?”

“Why... Why would I eat your pencil?” Sara asked, bewildered.

“Because I know you have an obsession with wooden pencils,” Hania accused.

“No, Hania!”

“Oh really? Then why do you have sawdust on your lips?” Hania questioned.

“No, no. Those are just, you know, crumbs from the almonds I just ate,” Sara stammered, trying too hard to defend herself.

“Can I see your bag? I would love to have some almonds too,” Hania said, reaching for Sara's bag.

“No, don’t open it! I have... I have personal stuff in it,” Sara protested, attempting to snatch the bag away.

“I sure know what that personal stuff is,” Hania said. In an instant, she yanked open the zipper. Her mouth formed a perfect O as she gasped, unable to believe what she had just seen.

Hania’s gaze first fell on the ziplock bag that had dozens of pencil shavings that were labeled “Refreshments for when I’m in a bad mood”. Next, she was a wooden spoon, that looked more like something you’d use to stir soup. It had bite marks and it looked like a hungry beggar gnawed at it. Right beside the English Book was the most shocking thing of all: a bottle labeled “Homemade Cedar Sauce”. There were even a few pencils that were wholly devoured with just except for the lead and the erasers, which had mysteriously vanished.

Hania’s eyes, now as large as ostrich’s eggs, stared blankly at Sara. 

“I can’t help it. Just like you binge-eat on chips, wood is my thing. It’s like a snack for me. And, Hania you should try the cedar sauce too. I made it from fresh wood and even added some dust but I won’t tell you where it came from. But I kid you not, you’ll fall in love with the taste! Just try it once.” 

“Sara, are you mentally challenged, my friend? My aunt is a therapist. You can even get free treatment from her, I’ll personally request—”

The bell rang and before Hania even completed her sentence, Sara’s mother appeared, calling her. “Sweetie, we are leaving early. Remember, we are shifting houses today?”

Before Hania could question Sara more, Sara picked up her bag and rushed out like a speeding train. 

At Sara’s house, chaos was in full swing. Boxes were everywhere, furniture was being lifted, and her dad was yelling at the TV, which was still plugged in as he tried to carry it out the door. 

Sara’s mom moved the couch a little, and tried to pull it forward. Then she went back and tried to push it in the front. But, she was amazed at the tragedy her eyes had just witnessed. 

“SARAA!” her mom screamed and the whole house went silent in an instant. Her voice echoed through the emptied walls but Sara stood still. She wasn’t still because of the loud voice but probably because of the guilt settling in her stomach. 

“My dear daughter! Can you come right here in an instant or do you need a special invitation?”

Sara trudged, and dragged her feet on the wooden floor, filling the deafening silence with the squeak of her shoes. She went to the place where her mom stood, and gazed at the sofa. 

“Did you eat this, Sara?! Do I not give you food, thrice a day or is you appetite so enormous that you had to feast on the sofa!”

“I just…I just nibbled on it. Nothing much I mean. And you know, unlike you guys, I am special. Eating wood gives me some kind of a superpower and recharges my brain. That’s how I cope with my brother's annoyingness everyday.”

Hania entered right in time and set the record with her jaw nearly touching the floor. “Rest in peace, dear sofa! You have officially survived a termite apocalypse. The only difference was that Sara is the obnoxious termite here.”

“No more wood furniture. I am glad most of the furniture for our next house is made from metal,” Sara’s dad said, annoyed as he hit his hand on his forehead.

“What? You guys, how am I gonna have my snack?” Sara whiningly questioned. 

“I mean you still have wooden pencils, you know,” Hania whispered in Sara’s ear. 

As the last few boxes were getting moved, Sara sat in the middle of the living room, moaning at her loss. 

“You look like a kid whose candy got stolen, Sara.”

“It’s worse, Hania. I’m sitting on a metal chair watching a movie where my own life falls apart in front of my eyes. And I can’t help but munch on unwooden popcorn.”

“Come on, let’s head to the car, Sara.”

Just as Sara was getting up, she saw the whole world spinning around and in an instant she fell like a dramatic Bollywood heroine on the floor with a loud thud. 

“Oh my God, what happened to my daughter?! We shouldn’t have taken the wooden furniture away from her,” her dad cried.

Hania came forward as she was suddenly shocked. Sara’s face was turning purple and Hania sat down to check her pulse. 

Her little brother poked her lifeless body. “Is she… rebooting?”

“Is this iron deficiency?” Sara’s mom asked with concern. 

“It’s happening. She is experiencing wood deficiency.” Hania immediately ran to get the Cedar Sauce from Sara’s backpack. 

“Somebody open her mouth or actually I’ll just make her sniff this,” Hania said.  

In an instant, the soul was back in the lifeless body. Sara’s eyes twitched and her finger moved. Again, the scene was no less than a Bollywood movie where the protagonist wakes up and stands on his feet even after getting shot like four times. The only difference was that right now, the sad music wasn’t playing in the background. 

At once, Sara’s eyes shot open and she snatched the bottle from Hania’s hands. She gulped down the Cedar Sauce to quench the wood deficiency. She kept on gulping it as if it was the elixir of life and then suddenly sprang up from her spot, went to her backpack and shoved some wood shavings in her mouth. One could even hear the crunch sound and witness the smile on Sara’s lips. Everyone watched this horror scene, intently as if it were part 3 of The Nun movie.

“Gross! You ain’t a human, my friend,” Hania said 

“Sara, did your system malfunction or what?” Sara’s brother questioned with a sly smirk on his face.  

“What happened, guys? Why are you all so shocked?” Sara asked, genuinely confused.  

“You died like two seconds ago,” her mother said.

“And came back from the hands of mortality by eating wood,” her father added.

Hania crossed her arms, smirking. “Told you. Wood deficiency.”

As they walked out, her dad sighed. “Alright. No more wooden furniture in the new house.”

Sara pouted. “Okay, okay. But can I at least keep my wooden pencils and maybe a tiny bottle of Cedar Sauce?”

Hania leaned in, whispering, “I’d stock a suitcase with it if I were you. You never know when the cravings might hit.”

And with that, the family drove off toward their new home, while Sara clutched her last remaining pencil like a sacred treasure.

The battle was lost.

But the war... was far from over.