Payback

Ashley went to her room, sat down on the bed, and rested her cheek on her knees as she hugged them to her. A single tear hit the denim of her jeans. Suddenly she turned angry. Is this what you want for me, God? To lose everything? She pounded her fists on the bed and grimaced. Well, I’m not going down without a fight! She swiped at her tears raising red marks on her cheeks.

She got up to take a shower. Better to do it now before Chelsea comes in. She grabbed her towel and her pajamas and went in the bathroom. She undressed and turned the water on as hot as she could stand it. She let the water run over her head for several minutes, then cut the hot water back until it felt cool. After, she rubbed her skin briskly with the towel and put on her pajamas. She towel-dried her hair as best she could.

She sat on the edge of the bed and glanced at the clock on the nightstand – 9:15. Room lockdown in fifteen minutes. She steeled herself for a confrontation with Chelsea. Harry Potter looked up at her from the nightstand smiling from his broomstick. If only Hagrid would come and take her away to a place of magic where she could make a new family.

She picked up the family photo propped up against the lamp. It was old and everyone was much younger then. They all looked so happy. A lump rose in her throat, but she refused to surrender to it. She opened the drawer to put it away out of sight but there was something already in the drawer. Scraps of paper. Tiny shreds with names and phone numbers. Old school photos of young children. Notebook paper folded into triangles with Chelsea’s name written across them is swirly script. Her eyes flew wide as she realized what she was looking at. This was Chelsea’s life. Every memory reduced to shreds of paper. She wondered what had happened to Chelsea that caused her to come into care.

She hadn’t considered it before. All these girls in the group home had lived through their own nightmare. For some reason they, too, had been ripped away from their families. She felt nauseated.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Chelsea strode in. She saw Ashley sitting on the bed, the open drawer beside her. In two steps she was in front of Ashley’s face grabbing the front of her pajamas in both fists. “I told you before to keep your hands off my stuff!” she snarled.

Ashley expected to immediately get another beating, but instead Chelsea pushed her backwards on the bed and slammed the drawer shut. Ashley saw she was seething, but she also saw tears in her eyes. Chelsea said nothing more and went into the bathroom slamming the door behind her. Ashley could hear her crying. What just happened? Clearly Chelsea was in pain and Ashley’s heart broke for her.

After a few minutes she could hear Chelsea periodically gasping little breaths. Deciding maybe she could talk to her, she knocked gently on the bathroom door. “Chelsea?” she said quietly.

Abruptly the door flew open making Ashley jump. “What do you want?” Chelsea snarled.

“I – I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I didn’t know your stuff was in the drawer.” Still not threatened with bodily harm, she got a little braver. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Chelsea laughed loudly. “You think I want to talk about it with you?” she sneered. “You think we’re gonna be friends and sing Kumbaya? Ain’t. Gonna, Happen!”

“Why do you hate me so?”

Chelsea leaned close to her face. “Because you keep getting in my business and I just want to be left alone!”

 Still no violence. “Well, I just want you to know that I’m here for you – if you need a friend, that is.”

“Shit.” She shut the bathroom door again and locked it. Ashley heard the shower come on.

* * *

About a week later, Ms. Vivian called Ashley into the office. “Something came for you today,” she sing-songed.

“Who would be sending me something?”

“Well, why don’t you open it and find out,” she said beaming and pulled a shoebox out from under the desk.

She recognized the box and opened it. Inside were a pair of Sketchers exactly like the ones she had gotten for Christmas that were too small.

Ashley smiled, laced them up, and tried them on. She walked back and forth in the office. “How do they fit?” Ms. Vivian asked.

“They’re perfect!”

“Here let me take the box for you. You don’t need that anymore.”

Ashley started to hand her the box but hesitated. “Wait.” She turned it over in her hand. “I’ve got an idea. Can I keep it?”

“Well, sure you can. What do you have in mind?”

“I want to make a present for someone. Do you have any wrapping paper?”

“Yes – yes, I believe we do.” She left and came back a few moments later with several rolls of gift wrap. “Here, which one would you like to use?”

She chose a neutral flowered pattern. “This will work. Can I borrow some scissors and tape? And a marker?”

As Ms. Vivian got her the supplies, Chelsea passed the office on her way to the room. She didn’t even glance at Ashley.

Ashley took everything out onto the porch. She covered the top and bottom of the box then used the black marker to write “Chelsea” across the lid in large letters. She took her finished work to show Ms. Vivian.

“Oh, that’s lovely! What’s in it?”

“Nothing yet. That will be up to Chelsea.”

Ms. Vivian smiled broadly. “How sweet! I’m sure she’ll love it!”

Ashley took the box back to her room. Chelsea was sitting on her bed supposedly doing homework, but Ashley could hear her music blaring through her earbuds. She walked over to her with the box.

Chelsea looked up at her. “What’s this?”

“I made it for you.”

Chelsea lifted the lid. “Ha! It’s empty!”

“It’s to keep your stuff in.”

Chelsea’s eyebrows drew together, then her eyes softened but only for a second. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of!” She hurled the box across the room, bouncing it off the door.

Ashley’s heart fell into her stomach. She walked over, picked up the box, and placed it on top of her dresser. She looked over at Chelsea who sat with her head leaning back against the wall with her eyes closed. She just wasn’t going to let her in. Ashley picked up Harry and took him out on the porch to get lost at Hogwarts.

* * * * *

“Gah, I’m starving!” Miranda said as she and Ashley came through the door together after school. At the counter, Miranda turned her nose up at the bag of Sun chips left in her snack box. She looked over at Ashley’s package of cheese crackers. “Hey, I’ll trade you these for your crackers.”

Ashley handed her the crackers. Over Miranda’s shoulder she saw Chelsea come in and head directly back to their room. As Chelsea walked past the office, Ms. Vivian came out and watched her go down the hall, then she walked over to Ashley.

With a big smile, she asked, “How did Chelsea like the present you made for her?”

Ashley dropped her gaze to the bag of chips as she opened them and shrugged. “She didn’t seem to like it much.” Ms. Vivian’s smile faded.

Miranda looked from Ms. Vivian to Ashley, then back again mid chew. “What?” she said around a mouthful of cracker.

Ashley drew her lips tight and shook her bag of chips looking for whole pieces. Ms. Vivian spoke up. “Ashley made her a darling keepsake box. Wrapped it up all pretty in gift wrap and put Chelsea’s name on it. And she didn’t like it?”

Ashley shook her head.

“That bitch,” Miranda said.

Ms. Vivian gave her a scathing look. “Now, none of that.”

Miranda screwed her mouth to one side. “Sorry.” She took another bite of cracker and waited for Ms. Vivian to walk away. “That was really sweet of you,” then whispering said, “but I still say she’s a bitch.”

The next morning in the mess hall, Miranda got her breakfast tray and went to sit with Ashley already seated by herself eating. “Hey, I’ve been thinking,” she said. “We really need to teach Chelsea a lesson – get even with her for how she treated you.”

Ashley’s eyes flew open as did her mouth. “Wait, no. Are you kidding? She’d kill me if I got her in trouble!”

“Relax. It won’t be you getting her in trouble. I’ve thought of a way that won’t implicate either of us. She’ll just be left wondering what hit her.”

“No, really. Don’t do anything. It could backfire – “

“Will you relax! Let me handle it. I’ve got your back.”

Ashley put her elbow on the table and rested her forehead on her hand. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

That night after chores, Ashley went to her room to shower. She came out of the bathroom still towel-drying her hair and picked up her brush from the top of her dresser. She did a double take when she realized something was missing. She looked around the room. The box she had made now sat on the top of Chelsea’s dresser. She walked over to the side of the bed and opened the drawer in the nightstand. It was empty.

Her curiosity was killing her. She walked to the door, opened it a crack and listened. She could hear the TV and Chelsea laughing loudly. She’d be there a while.  She closed the door quietly, tip-toed over to Chelsea’s dresser and lifted one side of the lid. Inside were all the scraps of paper from Chelsea’s life.

Ashley smiled. This was a start. Maybe they could become friends.

About a half hour later as Ashley sat studying for a science test coming up tomorrow, the door flew open bouncing off the wall behind it. Just as abruptly, Chelsea slammed it behind her. She said nothing, just stood in front of the door seething. She looked at Ashley with the muscles on the sides of her face pulsing. Her glare went from scalding to suddenly icy cold and she seemed to stare right through Ashley to her backbone. Now very calm, Chelsea picked up her pajamas and went into the bathroom. Ashley expected the door to slam but instead, Chelsea closed it almost gently. Ashley scowled as she wondered what was going on. She had never seen Chelsea act this way. She heard the shower come on.

Ashley was still studying when Chelsea emerged from the bathroom, turned down the covers on her bed, crawled in, turned to the wall, and put her pillow over her head. She didn’t stir again.

The next morning, Miranda caught up with Ashley as they walked to the mess hall. “So, what happened with Chelsea last night?”

Ashley looked directly at her. “That was weird.” She proceeded to tell her about Chelsea’s actions in the room.

Miranda laughed out loud. “Yeah, she’s pissed. I got her good.”

Ashley’s eyes grew big. “What did you do?”

“Oh, I didn’t do anything to her – not directly anyway. I just started a little rumor that somehow got back to Ms. Vivian.”

Ashley went cold. “What rumor?”

“Oh, just that Chelsea skipped school a couple of times. Snuck out after homeroom and left the campus, then came back in time to catch the bus.”

Ashley went ashen. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no! What have you done? She’s gonna think it was me! And just when I thought I was getting through to her!”

“Whadya mean?” Ashley told her about Chelsea using the box. “Oh. My bad.”

“Grrrrr!” Ashley stomped away quickly to the mess hall. Inside, she found Chelsea sitting with Emily and Sarah. “Chelsea, I just want you to know, it wasn’t me! I didn’t say anything!”

Chelsea didn’t even look at her. The other two girls looked back and forth from Ashley to Chelsea and back again, their eyes wide. Chelsea stopped eating and looked around the room but didn’t say anything.

Again, Ashley pleaded, “It wasn’t me!” She turned away and went to sit by herself at a table. She had no appetite for breakfast.

* * * * *

Ashley worried all day what form Chelsea’s retaliation would take.  When she entered the cottage, Ms. Vivian was helping the younger girls with their homework at the dining table. Chelsea was sitting in the living room with her earbuds in and her eyes closed. Ashley walked straight to her room.

She opened the door and looked around suspiciously. She saw nothing amiss. Apparently, Chelsea was biding her time, making her suffer. She dropped her bookbag and sat on the edge of her bed. That’s when she saw it – a neat little pile of shredded photo – her family’s photo. “No! No, no, no, no, no!” She let out a wail like a wounded animal. Chelsea had shredded her only thing left of her family. Her rage choked her. She scooped up the pieces in one hand, slammed open the door, and marched down the hall growling.

“You! You bitch! How could you!” she spat at Chelsea. Chelsea opened one eye and peered at her, a slight smile curling her lips. Ashley marched over to where Ms. Vivian sat and slammed down the handful of scraps. “Look at what she did!”

Ms. Vivian recovered enough from her surprise to first say, “Now, let’s not use such language!” Then looking at the bits of photo said, “What’s this?”

“It’s my family! She tore up the only photo I had of them! She can’t get away with this! You’ve got to do something!”

“Now, young lady, don’t take that tone of voice with me. Just calm yourself down. Chelsea, did you do this?”

“What? Me? Of course not! Why would I do something like that?”

Ashley was over the back of the couch and on top of Chelsea in an instant. She entwined both hands tightly in Chelsea’s hair. Mr. Joseph came out of the office and went to pry the two girls apart. As he did, Chelsea cried out in pain.

The rest of the girls came into the common room to see what was going on. Mr. Joseph now sat in one of the chairs with Ashley in his lap restraining her. Chelsea was crying dramatically while Ms. Vivian tried to console her. Ashley looked over at her and thought she caught a glimmer of a smirk on her face. She struggled to get free from Mr. Joseph to go after her again, but he held her fast. Finally, she stopped struggling and went limp, tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Are you calm now?” Ashley nodded. “Good. Now we’re going to get up and go into the office. Will you do that?” Ashley nodded again. She had never in her life been this angry.

She plopped down in a chair slumping down and crossing her arms in front of her, tears still rolling down her face.

Mr. Joseph closed the door. “It doesn’t matter what she did, fighting is not tolerated here,” he started. “I’ll have to write you up and I’m sure there will be a disciplinary meeting.”

“Good! Write her up too!”

“There’ll be an Incident Report written up on her.”

“An Incident Report! She needs to pay for what she did! Not get just a slap on the wrist!”

“Well, what she did only warrants an Incident Report.”

Ashley stomped her foot and growled. “It’s not fair!”

The next day, an emergency disciplinary meeting was held at the cottage. Ashley, her counselor, her case manager, Ms. Vivian, and Mr. Joseph were there.

Ms. Vivian read aloud the Disciplinary Report. It painted a grim picture of Ashley’s attack on Chelsea. When she finished, she gave Ashley a chance to give her side of the story. She tried to remain calm, but as she related what Chelsea had done, her voice rose louder and louder as her anger rekindled.

“Well, we’re not here to talk about what Chelsea did, but how you handled the situation. We’re here to discuss an appropriate punishment and how to prevent it from happening again.”

“But . . .” She cut herself off. She could see she would get nowhere with them.

It was decided that Ashley would lose all privileges for one month including phone calls. She would also have to undergo anger management training with Ms. Crystal twice a week. Ashley sat with her arms crossed tightly and gritted her teeth. The only good thing was she would be moved to a different room away from Chelsea.

That afternoon, Ashley put all her stuff in her laundry basket and was anxious to be rid of Chelsea. It was decided she would move in with Miranda and Emily would move in with Chelsea. She wasn’t crazy about Miranda as a roommate after the trouble she had caused but anyone was better than Chelsea.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” Miranda told her as she put her stuff away in the dresser. “I can’t believe she did that.”

“Yeah, well, it’s over and done with.” She started putting clean sheets on the bed. Miranda came over to help her. “That’s okay, I’ve got it,” Ashley told her. She needed to work out her frustrations.

That night after her shower, Ashley lay flat on her bed staring at the ceiling. Miranda came in and saw her lying there. “You okay?”

Ashley nodded. But she wasn’t. She couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to get out.