A Great Lesson.

Remember when we used to come here all the time? You remember?

Yeah. Wasn't that long ago...it's still the same ain't it?

It feels the same--I mean it's just the JackRabbit.

Yeah. It just feels different is all.

How so?

Nostalgia. 

So, you still skin pop that shit huh? 

No. Maybe surreal was the word I was looking for. I don’t know–maybe I’m just stoned. 

I think you are. 

And like you didn’t wake up and have three shots to get your day started. 

You got me there. 

Yeah, I saw you pouring one in your cup when I was coming back from the bathroom. 

Some shit with you never changes with you huh? 

I guess not…why are we here? And I don’t want to hear the whole I just woke up this morning and you just had this sudden fuckin’ urge to see me. 

Even if that was the case...you had the choice to come or not. And yet here you are.

Maybe I woke up this morning and I wanted to skin pop nostalgia just like that. 

That so? 

So, it is. 

You witty fuck. 

You slime. 

. . .

I guess I just wanted to see how you are. 

Like God– I am I am. 

Jesus its always the fuckin’ metaphors with you. 

There was no metaphor there but okay, sure. You miss me, don’t you? I know you; you won’t ever tell me I kinda have to figure that out for myself. You’re still the same. 

And so are you. 

Don’t project motherfucker. 

I’m not. 

Yeah, you are. 

Okay, fine, you wanna hear it sure–I miss you. There. 

See how easy it is to be true to yourself. Not that hard at all huh? 

No. Not at all. 

. . .

I wanna hear you say it. 

I miss you too, good enough? 

Like you mean it. 

And if I don’t? That okay with you? 

Sure. 

.. 

I miss you.

Not that hard at all huh? 

No. 

See. 

Yeah. You know, I was at the doctors the other day, and the nurse who brought me back was big and pregnant and I mean big and pregnant. You could see it in her face, her brows, her eyes that she was tired. I mean really tired like all she wanted was to be in bed sleepin’ but instead she’s there at work, and yet the whole time she had a smile on her face. Big pretty smile. 

There is a point to this story?

Yeah… it doesn’t matter how tired some people are, they are still going to smile. 

And lemme guess, you're one of those people. 

Oh, indeed. You came here, met me, and you think I’m the one skin popping nostalgia like that? It’s you. You woke up this morning and the first thought that hit your mind was: I miss him. 

So? You say that like it’s a bad thing. 

Not a bad thing. No, not at all. It’s a wrong thing though. You’re like a painter trying to reconnect with your muse again and your muse has moved on and is sitting for portraits other than yours. 

The thing about those other “painters” is that they don’t care about the muse in the same way I did. 

Bullshit.

Not bullshit at all. 

I gotta go, I know why you’re here and I’m not fucking falling for it again. 

Wait. Don’t go. Not yet. Just a couple more minutes. 

You have five. 

I don’t know what’s going on. I have this, this, fucking craving for you. 

If you wanted to fuck, we could’ve just fucked and saved a trip down this fuckin’ place. There’s more to it. I mean if you're just giving it away shit, I’ll take it. 

No. Not that at all...well, that’s a part of it. 

You and your fucking fractions. 

Please don’t make a scene. 

Please you’re making the fuckin’ scene here. You look like you want to cry. What the fuck is it with you men? You don’t want something in the moment but best believe when that moment has moved on and is happy–you just want to come back to fuck up shit some more. You and your shitty ego. Makes my fuckin’ stomach crawl. 

Please, I need you to understand.

No, absolutely not. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? After all of it? You left me when I needed someone the most. 

Yeah, that happens sometimes. Sometimes we just need those lessons in life. 

Fuck you.

Okay. I get it. 

. . .

Sure, it was a great lesson: it cost me my heart. 

I’m sorry. 

Fuck you and your sorry. I was loyal. You can’t find that shit around the corner these fuckin’ days and now, you realized that I’m just supposed to come back. Dust shit off and just say ‘fuck it’. 

Why not?

Like I said, I was loyal. You weren’t. If one could forgive disloyalty like that–the devil would be sitting at god’s knees. 

Okay, I get it. 

Do you? 

Probably not. You know me…

Some of you, sure. I wish I could say that I still had love for you like that. But I don’t. It’s a really sad thing, ya know? 

I still love you…

I know…

Could something be different? Between us? 

I don’t think so, mi amor. I wish it could. I really do.

I do too… 

I gotta go. 

Wait. 

Yeah? 

Can you just say it one time? 

So you can hold it well you sleep tonight? 

Yes. 

I love you. 

I love you more. 

It was a great lesson

I know. 

It just cost me my…

. . .

Check sir?

Yeah please.

Question?

Yessir?

Do you think that the heart is blind sometimes?

Oh, now you're too young to be worrying about stuff like that?

...

You're serious? Well, if all my years hun, I've learned that the heart is blind as a bat. But it's also a selfish thing the heart, they say the heart wants what it wants, right? But they ain't true. The heart one day will want one thing and the next it'll want nothing. Selfish thing. The heart could be broken into a million pieces and still it'll want to chase love all over again--like a kid who don't know better. You askin' this question because of your friend that just left?

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, judging by the way his eyes looked, he doesn't have a selfish heart at all. Someone just broke it into a million pieces, and he just can't put it back together. His eyes... that greenish-gray when he was crying out the door there...that's only a color I've seen in night skies in Alaska believe it or not. So, you going to fix it for him?

Can't. He doesn't want that.

Just one of those things in life hun, give me a few ticks and I'll have your check.

Yeah. Just one of those things.