Peace and Zen Loving.

Submitted into Contest #239 in response to: Write a story where a regular household item becomes sentient.... view prompt

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Coming of Age Contemporary Funny

"NO! NO!" Kai was sweating, his heart was thumping. Same old nightmares. He glanced at his digital phone. It was only 4:30 am. Today was the day. All Kai's worst nightmares had galloped through his brain again.

Kai went to wash his face, returning to lie on his bed. His head was still pounding. This was the day at school where he had double Maths with mean Mrs. Jenkins, and a Maths test. If Kai did not pass, his mother had promised him that she was going to get him a Maths tutor on the weekend, starting this Saturday ahead.

"Oh no!" Kai knew it was okay to wrong sometimes, but not all the time on Maths tests.

After Maths torture, there was going to be sport, football. Kai held the crown as the shortest boy in Year Seven, in fact, the whole of his secondary school. He was also the worst football player in history. Kai had complained to his Dad. But his father had replied that playing sport with team building was good for growing boys. Kai was still not growing. So much for that parental theory.

Kai was in despair. Wintry daylight dawned. As the sun rose, Kai stashed his secret smart phone in his pocket. Extreme danger like Maths tests and football needed extreme action. He was planning to head today off at the pass. Kai's "can't do" dragon came along to school with him. "Kai can't do Maths!' He was thinking this to himself miserably. " Kai can't play football! " The dragon in his brain was repeating himself.

"Kai does not want to play football!" Kai thought, "In fact, can't do dragon, Kai is not the least bit interested in Maths or football, let alone a Maths tutor!" The dragon in his thoughts shut up for once.

There she stood, the meanest Maths teacher in the whole world, Mrs. Jenkins. Kai's friend, Rianna, was the tall basketball captain. She said softly, "Hi Kai, never mind, I hate Maths too." Kai made excellent vomit noises, so did most the boys in Year Seven, Class D. They all sounded the same.

Mrs. Jenkins was preparing to dish out her latest mean Maths test. Kai was scared. This could be his worst test ever seen, extreme danger period. He quietly turned on his smart phone, and made his own thought bubbles appear on the phone screen.

Like magic! In a puff of silver smoke, a giant green capsicum rolled into the classroom. Sentient at last, it swallowed up mean Mrs. Jenkins and all her even meaner Maths tests.

The capsicum retreated through the doorway, and spat Mrs. Jenkings and her Maths tests into the dumpster next to the school building. Job done. Even a capsicum does not want to be poisoned by any Maths teacher.

Rianna fist pumped the air. "Yes!" The other kids were just as thrilled. There were hi-fives all around the class. Rianna smiled sweetly at Kai. "Did you....?????" Kai too smiled, pushing back the 'can't do' dragon in his brain. "Mum always said I could scroll before I could I could talk, Shhh!"

Rianna grinned. "Right, everyone, listen up. Kai is our teacher for the day." Kai took up the challenge of being in control of Year Seven, Class D. For this, he needed to turn the room into his Zen Den. he had been browsing about developing an inner Ninja. So Kai popped on his prescription sunglasses for his weak eyesight. He strolled casually to sit down at the missing teacher's desk.

"Let's make this a Zen Den of cool school for the day." His classmates agreed. "Just for today," Kai said, "there is no mean Maths. We are going nowhere." He produced his secret smart phone ."We have to learn to make good choices in this menu," he told the others, as he went scrolling. "Who would like fried chicken and chocolates for lunch?"

Instant yes. Kai was on a roll, so he swiped his mother's credit card, and ordered up a party to be delivered to Year Seven, Class D's door. All suitable nutrition for his Zen Den. They would not get malnutrition or go thirsty at this cool school.

After lunch, there were empty containers and lolly wrappers everywhere. Rianna and the girls wanted to dance. Kai scrolled for a great music mix. The bigger boys locked their classroom door from the inside, so no one could get to them.

Then the boys all sat around, playing vaguely naughty, but loud, video games on the digital appliances. Kai sat at the front desk, content in his cool school Zen Den. He was really gazing in a dream at Rianna, and her graceful dancing. Kai hoped he could get a growth mindset, and grow up to be as tall as she was. That way, he would not be the tiniest midget in his secondary school. Meanwhile, he kept his Zen loving dreams to himself, he was way too cool for this school.

The music flowed, the dancers carried on. The big boys in the grade started a scuffle. IT equipment crashed to the floor. "Fight, fight!" some of them yelled. Fists were flying, shirts were getting ripped , and they were all swearing.

Kai turned off the music, and marched to the door. Unlocking it, he said, "Hey you, it's time for football Go and fight there!" Kai was not doing sport, he was over being bashed by the other boys in the mud.

"Yes! Football!" the bigger boys laughed. They all roared off to the oval.The classrooms was in ruins. Kai gazed at all the mess in Year Seven, Class D's room. "Whatever." He no longer cared if football even existed.

Rianna and her friends wandered over to Kai, still sitting at the teacher's desk. "Do you think we should clean this up a bit?" she asked, "We're going to be in trouble."

"Up to you in Zen Den. Might be a good idea." So Rianna and the girls started tidying up, collecting the rubbish. They helped each other to pick up the IT equipment .Nothing was too damaged.

Soon Kai and his no longer dancing girls were swapping more Zen ideas, just as the Principal walked in. He was a bit red in the face. " I want a word with you Year Seven kids." the Principal said, "Now, I have fished your Maths teacher from the dumpster. There is a large vegetable sitting there. At this moment, all the Maths teachers are having a stop-work meeting. They want to go on strike on full pay, so they won't end up in the dumpster, or worse. They also want to sue me and the School Council for discrimination to Maths. Where did that capsicum come from? I want some answers here, right now!"

In the distance, Kai could hear other classes celebrating that cool school today was not doing Maths, or having mean Maths tests. What would his inner Ninja do?

Kai decided to send a thought bubble to his secret smart phone. The giant green capsicum rolled away from the dumpster, off to the neighborhood Food Bank. Some poor people would be glad to eat fresh vegetables for dinner tonight.

The Principal stared. "It was you! I want a chat with you," said the Principal, trying not to look impressed. "Come along with me. Whatever is wrong with you, we'll sort it all with the School Counselor."

Kai was feeling like making more vomit noises, but held off. He had eaten too many lollies and chocolates. Yummy! He could feel his clothes shrinking on his tummy.

At the Counselor's office, Kai was asked to please explain. "Really, there is nothing wrong with me. It's my answers in Maths tests that are wrong. Mrs. Jenkins hates me and I hate her." Mr. Niroshi, the School Counselor, was very wise and understanding. "Why don't you join our Tuesday homework class? There's a teacher there to help students with their difficult subjects." Kai thought about this. It might be better than a Maths tutor. He would not be the only one there getting his Maths wrong.

"Okay, I'll join that."

"You can do Maths with Year Seven B, they do have a different Maths teacher," the Principal said, checking his timetables.

This sounded like a plan.

Mr. Niroshi gazed through his window, at the Year Seven boys playing football. "Don't you like football? It's okay, there are other sports.' Kai felt surprised. "Can you tell my Dad that?"

"What's wrong with Martial Arts?" Mr. Niroshi asked, "You can still get fit and build up core muscles." "And build my Inner Ninja," Kai breathed. The Principal looked up, saying, "You can enroll in Advanced IT with the senior students. You're a bit past Year Seven level. They're designing and building miniature robots. Mondays, 1:30 pm. Of course, you'll have to promise safety for my Maths teachers."

Kai focused on his Zen. Since when had adults listened to him? Finally, he agreed. His eyes lit up. Kai's next plan was to program his robot to do homework and all Maths tests!

This little meeting had ended up with everyone being happy. Kai wandered back to his classroom. The home bell rang on time. Cool school had been fun, having a Maths free day. No one really knew if the Maths teachers still planned to go on strike in the morning. Kai and the Principal had agreed to worry about tomorrow when it happened, both hoping to make good choices.

Kai planned to make a plan to return his Mum's credit card, carefully. Rianna walked home with Kai for once. She was so tall and pretty. She had Kai's back from now on. Kai tried not to think thought bubbles of Rianna in her bikini. Bit naughty, but nice feel good moments. He was full of Zen loving and Peace. The cool school students all went home, quite content. Kai's Zen Den and his giant green capsicum were legends!!!!

February 26, 2024 21:42

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2 comments

Aly Jester
04:34 Mar 07, 2024

This was an interesting take on the prompt. Very inventive. Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading more from you.

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Kristina Aziz
13:31 Mar 04, 2024

The writing style this week is a little different from your usual, but it's still enjoyable. Reminds me of my aunties from India telling fables in English.

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