The Self Fish

I wander the seas in search of interesting stories to add to my Collection of Tales with Scales. My name's Paul and I’m a Pencilfish. Us Pencilfish learn to write before we know how to swim. When I recently learned of a request for a story that takes place in a place where weather never changes, I figured all my stories fit that description. Weather, as you landlubbers know it, never changes down here.

Every season’s just the same, from one day to the next.

It never snows, it never rains, yet everything’s all wet.

No autumn leaves for winds to blow nor darkened skies to fret.

Summers come and summers go, and we never break a sweat.

All I had to do was decide which story to submit. Easier said than swum. I love all my babies. (That’s how us writers are, right)? So, rather than consider the story, I considered the reader. That would be you. Yours would be the first terrestrial eyes to read my writing. So, I figured since you’re human I choose a story that best matches up with a human thing so you might better relate. Which one would it be? Ker-splash! It hit me like a clumsily breeching whale.

The Self Fish

A sole is flat, a tuna fat and sharks can be so cunning

but of all the fish that swim the seas, one thought itself so stunning.

Sardine days are spent in schools and groupers group quite often,

the Self Fish chose to swim alone, 'cause there only was one of them.

Her name was Priscilla, and she couldn’t get enough of herself. She flirted with the flounders, played coy with the koi and teased the octopi until its tentacles tangled in knots due to fruitless attempts to embrace her. She left the redfish red-faced, bluefish bluer and abandoned a hard-working haddock just for the halibut. She never took a suitor seriously. Because of Priscilla's commitment to never commit, she was awarded the dubious honor of the fish least likely to be caught in high school. Then one day she met a fish with a trait that rocked her world.

Self Fish cared for no one's heart, of this nothing could be clearer,

until one day she saw a carp, with scales just like a mirror!

She couldn’t turn her eyes away, try so as she might.

When she set her gaze upon the scales, it was true love at first sight.

The Mirror Carp swam everywhere, to every sea and section,

Self Fish always at his side with eyes locked on her own reflection.

The carp whose name was Roy led a lonely, homely life. Maybe the reason his scales reflected as they did was to take attention off his own thick lipped heavily cheeked face. He swum slowly and had nothing clever to say. Roy was never invited to events and parties and had been caught three times by humans and each time, thrown back. Though not popular, the other fish felt sorry for Roy, so he never was teased or harassed. When they saw the Self Fish wriggling and cooing by Roy’s side everywhere he went they thought she must be up to her old tricks and would surely break the old carp's heart. After repeated attempts to warn him, Roy finally listened and asked Priscilla for the truth. 

“Pretty fish, why do you follow everywhere I go?

You are so fast and so lovely, I’m so homely and so slow.”

For the first time in her sea life Priscilla was taken aback. What the carp said made no sense!

“Homely? You? I do not agree! When I see you what I see,

is the only fish I ever loved, who just happens to be me.”

Roy accepted the explanation as a sort of left-finned compliment which was better than any compliment he had ever gotten. So, with a shrug of the pectorals Roy continued to mosey the seas with the Self Fish by his side for a year and then another. The odd relationship became the talk of the tide. When I finally got word of it, I sprang from my seabed to find them. I told them I’d like to write their story and promised many clams if published. They agreed and I listened. Maybe I saw something neither of them knew they had. Whatever it was, it prompted me to make a suggestion.

“Priscilla dear, if you fear a life without reflection,

Roy if you want to rid yourself of lonely introspection,

Just take the step, you don’t need feet, simply say ‘I do’

After that, you’d swim as one instead of floundering as two.”

It was the first and only time I made myself a part of one of my own stories, but I was glad I did. Priscilla was first to agree.

The Self Fish thought this idea was oh so very clever.

“I like it carp ‘cause as your wife, I can be by my side forever!”

Roy also agreed but with less enthusiasm and passion. At the time, I chalked it up as just a carp being carp. In later years, I’d find out why. For the moment, it was my job to spread the word. Being a writer and a much faster swimmer, it made sense. When the day finally came. I reported on the event.

Angel Fish, Starfish, Sea Turtles and Sea Cows,

gathered at the Coral Reef to hear Roy the Carp's vows

“Forever I will love you, now will you vow to love me too?”

Self Fish's eyes were on the scales when she said, “I do.”

The event was followed by a gala reception with music, drink and some of the finest plankton ever served. A bouquet of kelp was tossed to the anxious bevy of bridesmaids, and the couple was whisked away in a conch shell carriage with a team of eight white seahorses. It was the first night of the honeymoon at romantic Sugar Cove.

The Selfish primped and preened herself

then the scales turned dark as night

“Oh dear I can’t see myself! 

Someone’s turned off all the light!”

Roy had to reveal the secret of the scales before things went any further.

“My dear the time has finally come, for you to learn the bitter truth,

the reflection you’ve been looking at, isn’t really you."

For the first time since they met Priscilla looked into Roy the carp’s eyes. What she saw frightened her. It was the glimpse of a truth she was never willing to face. Roy’s scales didn’t reflect what really was only what one wanted to see. What Roy did next only made things worse. It was the Dance of the True Carp Scales!

The Mirror Carp flipped!

The Mirror Carp flopped!

As if he were on a hook.

When the dance came to a stop,

he said, “Okay, now come take a look.”

Priscilla looked everywhere but into the scales. It’s said that if someone wants to believe in a lie badly enough it stops being one. But that’s not the way it is. In any kind of weather or no weather at all, the truth is a rock. It bends for no one, shapes for no one, votes for no man, worships no god, plays no favorites and cares no more for beauty than it does for ugly. On land, air or in the deepest blue sea, the truth just is. The time had come for Priscilla to face it.

The Self Fish gulped and gasped its gills, she feared so much because,

she knew what she’d see in the scales would be what she really was.

“A snook! A snook! A common snook! I’m not pretty, I’m not lean.

I’m so freaking ugly, my name’s on a submarine!”

Priscilla felt shattered. Her massive ego dropped to depths deeper than any ocean. She hated the scales, the carp and most of all, hated herself. Living a lonely life believing everyone else wants you is a far different thing than living one where you knew, no one ever would. Then Roy the carp surprised her.

The Snook cried and cried and cried some more,

she cried a sea of tears

Then Mirror Carp gave Snook a kiss,

“Please don’t fret so much my dear.”

Snook couldn’t fathom why the carp,

would want a fish so common to the eye.

Her Self Fish ways had blinded her to all the reasons why.

Priscilla had never known what true beauty really was. She'd never experienced the real things that made life a thing worth sharing forever. Now, she was ready to learn, and Roy the Carp was ready to teach.

“I did not fall in love with you, because of how you look.

I did not fall in love with you, because you are a snook.

What matters most to Mirror Carps aren’t reflections of a face.

What we see is on the flip side, in a deeper place.

You didn't know, you couldn’t see, the things that mattered most.

Others thought of you as selfish, but they weren't even close.

A caring soul and loving heart, you can keep them all well-hidden.

But not from the scales of Mirror Carps,

when the Mirror Carp is smitten.”

Years later I visited to do a follow-up. It was one of those 'where are they now' types of things. They had three beautiful kids. Roy was a school bus driver, Priscilla, a teacher. As far as her reflection goes, she still loves to see it but only in the eyes of those she loves. As far as you humans go and all the emphasis you appear to put on this thing you call weather, I hope this story might serve as a reminder of the importance of you.

Don't worry so about the clouds, or the rain as much.

Give yourself some credit, for the power of your touch.

Inside each and every one of you, is warmth greater than the suns.

And a wonder brighter than the stars, is also part of everyone.

A simple smile, a true kind word, a helping hand along the way,

is all you need to change the weather, in someone else's day.

God Bless you all.