5 comments

Historical Fiction

My pretty blue dress didn’t look good on me. Even though I was a girl I hated wearing dresses. I tried to smooth it just wouldn’t flatten down. my small apartment in Germany was all we could afford. my parents spoke in hushed voices and all I could make out were the words “move” and “America“ I‘d heard of America I just didn’t know what it was. A country a sweet cake I had no idea. I was guessing a country because why else would move be in the sentence. My brother and I sat politely at the table eating our bread and soup as they spoke. My parents spoke to us about school. I told them about the boy who pulled my hair and the girl you had just braided it. When the banging started I assumed it was our neighbors drunk once again. Well until I heard it again but on the other side. Then in front, behind. I heard the loud banging everywhere. My parents dragged my brother and I to our rooms and told us to hide under our beds. I heard the bang of the door falling then more doors. one was to where we were hiding.

”hiding are you?” said a man in his mid 30’s. I was frozen in fear. At that moment I felt the terror of real fear and how it felt to be trapped. My brother and I were dragged to a disgusting, hot vehicle. Which would be the last time I saw my parents.

We were all cramped in a car. everyone was sweaty. there were about 150 people in the truck. I wanted to slip the blue dress off and just where my bloomers. My younger brother whimpered at the sight of hundreds of black and brown buildings.Everyone in the truck knew what was happening. A concentration camp.

“Everyone out!” yelled a man a bit older than the last. I was already covered in black dust. I was pushed and shoved into different areas with different people. The last time I saw my family was when a 25 year old man dragged me into a group of girls my age. I recognized a few one was the girl who braided my hair.

I think we all knew why we were there. we were Jews. My group was shoved into a room we took turns sitting in a chair as they yelled at us and shaved our heads. My turn came and I struggled to say good bye to me hair

“What’s your name?” A man asked me. he had a blonde buzz cut and blue eyes.

“Uhm R-roseMarie sir” I managed to whimper out.

“ ok uhm R-rosemarie” he mocked. In a matter of seconds my hair was gone. I closed my eyes as it fell to the ground. Just a few hours ago Karin was braiding it and Norbert pulled on it.

Once everyone hair was ripped from there scalp we were to change clothes. we stripped our dresses off and changed into blue and white striped garments that were numbered. At that moment my pretty blue dress didn’t seem that bad.

5 men took 30 girls to a big empty room. As I walked in men ,women, and children were in there. I searched for a family member but I never found one.

I heard a door slam and I thought maybe this is where I get to go home and these are the people that are leaving. I thought maybe my family really is in here I just can’t see them.

I thought that until. My eyes began to water and my legs turned to jelly. My knees collapsed and I fell to the ground. My last thoughts before heart stopped and my vision faded were of the wonderful food I’d eaten an hour before.


November 28, 2019 03:06

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5 comments

Claudia Morgan
20:38 Oct 02, 2020

This is so good! I just think maybe you should proofread a bit more. (You mixed up where and wear and there should've been commas in a couple places.) Other than that i love it! The story of WW2 with the Jews and the concentration camps are so tragic and I love reading about it. This was no exception! Keep on writing your wonderful stories Teagan!

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Claudia Morgan
13:11 Oct 03, 2020

Ok so I know self promoters are kinda annoying but...would you guys mind checking my recent story out? It's the prompt "Write about a character who goes to- or purposely avoids their high school reunion." Thanks! I DO NOT WANT TO WIN- THERE ARE MANY MORE AUTHORS WHO DESERVE IT MORE THAN ME. But I do want feedback! Thanks!

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Lindsay H
02:54 Dec 05, 2019

Thank you for your story. It had my attention and It definitely tugged at the emotions.

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Sadia Faisal
17:02 May 22, 2020

you can really win the competition with this story, please like my story and follow me

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Jenna Williams
21:24 Dec 14, 2019

I love your descriptions, it sends a good message against discrimination (:

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