Oh?

Funny how I never acknowledge the fact that I make no crunch. Now It's not that I'm dead, merely that I'm not...there, I guess. I simply travel over the snow holding my scythe by my side. Am I a reaper? Not exactly more like Im here as a wandering spirit just like others in a way. There's someone keeping me here that I must take with me to hell. I have never known anger, not since I was alive at least, I died hanging myself. My name is Ash Reyes and I am a wandering reaper/Spirit who doesn't understand why I am still here.

I've been here since the day of New Years. I died to escape but now I can't leave until I figure out why I've been wronged. But I will only know when I see an X on their back. I've been quite careful with paying attention but if I do accidentally pass them then its ok because I'll get a ping or a string that draws me towards them. But that's only if I get close enough to them. Such as a 1-mile radius of when Ill be able to see the string that binds me to there soul.

Bothersome? Of course but I think it'll be worth it when i finally claim the person who has kept me chained. Will it be just one person? I don't know I just know it was someone who attended my funeral. I've checked many but names were never my strong suit so I have to rely on face to really figure this out. I break into a run just wanting that crunch below me to signal that I really was alive and this wasn't a joke. But jokes never were that funny to me. Unfortunately.

I use my scythe as I began to scream an old memory that ran through my mind. “Can you tell me what the blackboard says?! Can you read the words written so clearly, but jumbled they don't make sense to me!” I yell. It clicked finally. The one boy who sent me into spirals and kept sending back again and again. “Hey just tell me how! Hey just tell me how!” I yell as I throw my scythe into the ground angry and confused.

I pant softly as I pick it backup and kept walking humming the tune as I put the scythe on my back as I began to run once more. My body feeling a flame I haven't felt since I had died and it felt great to have it back because that meant I would finally end this. Just need to figure out where he was. What was his name? Why did he anger me? I couldn't remember his name but I remember the smile that made me melt but it only brought rage and hatred through my body.

I entered the state of California as I floated around looking and hoping I could find the one who sent me back to the world of the living. I touched the ground as time froze and I look around. And I see him, I see the X on his back as time started for me and I ran at him. I felt the flame inside my body grow as I lifted up my scythe and swung it with all my might. I watched him turn the instant I swung.  I saw instant fear and shock in his eyes as the scythe cut his heart and he collapsed

I painted but I hand left. But this time, I knew the other man who had forsaken me. I knew...my father but when did I last use those words? I stopped saying them when I had turned 13. For he had accused me of lying about how I felt and rage filled my once more. But not the angry kind of rage...It was that of a sorrow and I knew it well. Sorrow had become one of the most common emotions inside my heart. I could only feel the flames licking the soul that had stayed intact with my body waiting for its departure when I finally ended this game of cat and mouse.

I often question why it's me who had to suffer through this and why I wasn't allowed to pass through the gates of judgement. This isn't some romance where a ghost finds someone and loves them. No, this is the story where I go to heaven or hell because I couldn't take it and I will take the soul of my father..because I deserve to be selfish. I never got to be selfish. Are you going to eat that I'm really hungry! Oh sure here have mine. Oh can you move so I sit next to my friends? Oh sure here! Oh Can you? Oh can you?! OH CAN YOU?! I give and give and hardly ever took! I gave up my happiness so they could be happy and I could suffer the consequences of being forever hurt.

I enter the home I haven't been too in so long. When could I last look at the house without feeling disgust or anger at what I had to do to leave? I bought a plane ticket just to leave this broken home. We always were ones to argue but we never used our hands unless it was to make hand gestures. We never put our hands on one another. I walk through the door to see he is with the woman who..who is she again? I don't recall or remember or name. But I can have a faint feeling that I have indeed seen her before.

“You never did like to let me be selfish...even when that's all you were to me…” I raise my scythe hoping he turns around. “Remember those words...Your just like ******* and that you’ll be selfish if you kill yourself? Well then I guess I am!” I slam my scythe down as he turned. Our eyes lock as darkness engulfed us both. One passed away while the other disappeared. My soul finally passed and it took 30 years to finally pass on. 

All it took was the annoyance of being unable to hear the crunch of snow beneath my feet for me to find that those who locked me to them are finally gone. I am free…..