Power's Out

'Power’s Out.'

'Again?'

Nan looked up from her book. There was no point really. The room was plunged in darkness and there was literally nothing to see.

But there was something to hear.

The sound of several footsteps were heard in the corridor. Little feet moving very fast.

Nan sighed and waited for them. They came bumbling in almost tumbling over one another. Somehow they made it to the bed. Nan was sitting upright against the bed post. John slammed into her chest. Shayla landed with a thud on Nan’s lap and Sue landed on top of Shayla.

Nan reached out and tried to grab her three young children at once. She was actually glad that Sue had landed on top of Shayla rather than under. Shayla and John had just turned seven three weeks ago. Sue would be five at the end of the year.

“Mom the lights went out again.” Shayla cried. She was still very much afraid of the dark, even more so than her younger sister. Battling a monstrosity in the night will do that to a child

“Why can’t the lights stay on when we want them to?” John asked anxiously.

“Hush my babies.” Nan tried to settle them.

It had been seven months now since the disastrous storm. Seven months of dread. Nan had done everything she could since to maintain a state of calm for herself and the children.

Trell worked as a police officer on the Island. He was more than a committed constable; he was a good husband and a supportive father. When news of the approaching storm hailed, he agreed to work as a volunteer to clear roads and ensure persons were safely admitted to the shelters established by the local government.

“The power went out, that’s all. I am sure they will turn it back on soon.” Nan tried to comfort them.

“That’s what you said last time but it took three weeks before we had light again at night.” John said.

“We couldn’t watch TV either and the food smelled bad in the fridge mom.” Shyla added still clinging on to Nan’s lap.

Nan sighed.

“Look mama…” Sue said pointing at the window. “There is light in that house over there. Ours coming back soon too?”

They all looked out of the window.

Before Nan could answer, there was a tapping at the bedroom door. It was Michael.

Michael was the oldest. He had just completed his first year of college but the tragedy had changed things for everyone. Michael had to come home until things got better.

“The powers out.” Michael said.

“Really, genius?” John said with a scowl. “I guess we didn’t notice…while sitting in the dark here.” John was only seven but like all the children. He was also affected. His way of coping was lashing out.

“Don’t speak to your brother like that John. We’re all…” Nan started.

“We’re all out just out of luck, and out of power...again!” John shouted as he pushed Nan away and ran out of the room.

“Let’s all just try to get some sleep shall we. Tomorrow is another day.”

It was Monday. Nan brushed her hands against her faded brown suite and tried to practice a smile in the cracked mirror on the bathroom wall.

“My name is Nan Litney and yes I have ten years of experience as a….as a teacher and…” Nan’s voice slowly trailed off as she remembered her early years. When she met Trell it was a whirlwind love. They married soon after she had completed junior college. Before they knew it, Michael was on the way and she had yet to master any real skills. They decided teaching was a great opportunity; fair salary and loads of time off to raise a child.

Nan sighed.

She was now on the hunt for a job. First it was the storm- that evil tyrannical storm that turned their lives upside down; then there was the pandemic. Schools had closed in droves and the private institution she worked at suffered so much damage they had closed their doors indefinitely. The pandemic now meant most hotels and other businesses were also shut down or out of business.

The storm was coming, everyone knew that. But no one could have been prepared for what it actually brought.

“Where you going mama?”

Nan shifted from her deep thought at the sound of the tiny voice. It was Sue. Nan reached down and hugged  her little daughter. Then she looked her in the face and tugged her chubby cheeks.

“Mom is going job hunting.” Nan said with a light hearted smile.

Sue chuckled at the feel of her moms hands pinching her cheeks. She smiled and revealed the vacant lots in her gums from losing her milk teeth.

“Then we can get you some real milk for these teeth.” Nan chuckled back at her.

“Well, that would be great. I’m getting tired of the can milk, can beans, can soup. Everyone else can buy real food. Why can’t…”

It was John. Somehow he had appeared in the doorway. His arms were folded across his chest and he was leaning on the door frame. There was that look on his face again. It was anger. Since the storm, John had not smiled once; not even by accident. He used to be a happy boy; and a mischievous one also. Nan always wondered how she would cope with his one thousand and one daily antics, but the storm seemed to have cured all of that.

“I like canned milk.” Sue said with an innocent smile.

“That’s because you’re too young to know any better.” John talked down to his sister.

“That’s enough John.” Nan tried to keep the smile on for Sue’s sake. “Things are looking up. I have an interview today- oh right now. I really have to go guys.”

Nan kissed Sue once more and gave another tight squeeze before heading for the door. John did not budge.

“Didn’t you go to an interview last week, and the week before? What’s the point?” John said, still blocking the door way.

Nan stood before him. She wanted to embrace him and comfort him but she knew that would only make things worse. She had tried. Oh how she had tried. The day after the waters subsided, she had gathered all the children and held onto them as tight as she could. The storm had brought swells of twenty foot waves. Something no one on the island had ever seen or imagined.

The flood waters had risen up to the dining table in the house. They had all been forced to sit on the kitchen counter tops for six hours while the storm raged. The night came and they were plunged in darkness, but the sound of the storm winds did not cease to roar outside. Terrifying was an understatement. They didn’t get the worst of it until two days later. That’s when they got the news. Trell had been caught by one of those waves while trying to secure one of the shelter’s doors. It swept him away and he was never found after.

Nan looked at her son. The anger in his face was the same that day, and every day since that day. He screamed, he bucked, he shouted and he cursed God. His little body went into shock for two days and there was nothing Nan could do but hold her son and pray.

John seemed to relive the horror of that event every single day.

“John, I know this is hard for you. It’s really hard for me too. I didn’t want any of this to happen and I’m so sorry it did. I wish I had some answers. I wish I knew how to make everything right. But I don’t. I just keep trying. I wish you could help me. I Wish...?”

“How could I help? I’m just a stupid kid. I should’ve just died too.”

“No, don’t say that. Don’t say that please.”

Nan had fallen to her knees now and Sue was clinging to her back sobbing softly.

“You’re stronger than me John. I wish I had your strength.” Nan said. She was still afraid to reach out to him but tears were welling up in both their eyes.

“How could I be strong? I couldn’t stop that storm from coming, or messing up our house…or…or even taking dad. How could I be strong?” John shouted through his tears.

“Because you have the courage to be mad John. You don’t hold it back, you just show your anger and you tell God too. I heard you shouting at him. You break stuff all the time and darn it…I don’t…I don’t have the courage like you do to get mad.” Nan’s tears were flowing now and she clutched at her aching chest.

Sue was fully embracing Nan now sobbing hard against the brown suite Nan was wearing.

Nan looked up again but the doorway was empty.

That night Nan sat at the edge of her bed and stared out the window. There were a few houses with the lights on and others, like theirs, plunged in darkness. It would take a long time for a full recovery on the island but that’s not what bothered Nan. She looked up at the moon in the distance; it seemed to shine a little brighter tonight.

“Power is out mom.”

Nan whirled around so fast at the sound of the voice.

It was John. He stood in the doorway.

“Hey…” Nan started but she didn’t know how to finish.

“Maybe I don’t want to be the strong one in the family anymore mom. I’m really tired of it too. I get so weak…”

John’s voice trailed off and he looked down at nothing in particular on the ground.

“Maybe you could try being strong too mom, but not too strong.”

“I…I think maybe I could you know. I think maybe tomorrow am going to break a few plates and…and maybe scream my head off a bit. What do you think, any suggestions?” Nan was biting back tears.

John lifted his head slowly and looked up at his mother.

“I think I could…” Nan never got to finish. John bolted from the door and ran into her arms. She hugged him tightly and he hugged her right back.

“We’ll be okay mom won’t we?” John sobbed.

“We’ll be okay John. As long as we have each other…we’ll be okay.”