"BRIDGES"

“BRIDGES”

Judith had heard the cliché 'when you get to that river, you will cross it’, so many times, she must have even said it before. This was the river, but there was no bridge, not even stones for her to jump on. She was alone, no help, she had to make up her mind fast, time was running out. Her mother's surgery was tomorrow, her mother was going to die if she did not create a bridge. She would be blamed, the society would blame her, the society would call her an ingrate for not doing the needful, the society would call her a fool, no, not just the society, she too would blame herself. She would blame life for being so cruel, for asking for the only thing she had, the only thing she called her own and the one thing she had control over.

"Maybe I never had control over it!" she yelled, holding her head swinging back and forth, left and right like a pendulum. Even if she screamed, nobody would hear, even if someone did, it was too late for anyone to come out to check up on her. Society always waited, waited for one to fail, fall or die, then like vultures with shuttering sound devices, they come with blames, pity, theories and advice.

"I am alone, I am all alone." she said to herself still swinging. As she swung, she remembered the doctor's face when he had called for the family of Mrs. Johnson and she approached him. Alone.

"We need her family, young lady." The doctor looked around the hall, as if he knew the family he searched for.

"I am her family, Sir." Judith had replied. She had rehearsed that line over and over again when Mrs. Johnson had come to take her out of the orphanage home two years ago. That day was the happiest day of her life, maybe the only happy day she will ever have. She was seventeen already and had lost all hopes of adoption. Every body wanted a cute kid, not a grumpy teenage girl, but Mrs. Johnson had told her with a smiling face. "I am your family now, and you are my family." She had repeated those words with so much joy two years ago. Now she had to say those same words but they were painful to say this time, really painful, but she had to say them, make the doctor understand that although she was nineteen, she could understand what he would ask for and what he would tell her.

“I am her family sir.” She repeated again, this time, making sure his eyes met hers. His eyes felt sorry for her, she knew that look, had seen it several times when potential parents visited the orphanage home, it was a look of pity, of curiosity. She was certain he had questions to ask her, troubling questions, she was ready to answer, and if they became annoying, she would move to plan B, be a grumpy teenager.

“You can sit, your mother is in a pretty bad condition, she needs a lot of money for her surgery, else, she would die in a couple of days.” He gave her that look again, she preferred the look to questions anyway.

“How much are we talking about, Doctor and please, what is wrong with my mum?” She was the one asking the questions, and it felt good for a while. Then, the look came again, it was pity this time. It lingered for a while, then he dropped his head. He was not disappointed, it did not feel like it, that was not how Mrs. Rhoda dropped her head when they found out Tema ran away to a brothel. So she waited till his head came back up.

“What is your name?” he asked with a low tone. She hated that, that was pity.

“Judith Johnson.” she had cleared her throat so her voice does not come out shaky or too tiny.

“Judith, we need an older person and we need money to save your mother, that is all I can tell you now. Can you get any of them today?” The doctor asked looking at her sternly.

“Yes, Dr. Bill.” She had seen his name on an I.D card that was kept almost carelessly on the table.

“Good, we are done here. You cannot see her now, so it will be best you go get the assignment done.” He got up and walked towards the door. She understood when she was not wanted or when she had over stayed her welcome, so she took the cue and left his office. She had cried in the hall for a while, then had pretended to cry for a longer time in the park, thinking someone would ask her what the problem was. No one stopped to ask her then, she knew it was either people could not see her or they had worse problems, either way, she realized she was on her own. She had to find the money or an older person.

The only older person she knew was Mrs. Rhoda, but Mrs. Rhoda will never follow her to the hospital, Tema had told her that when she went to see her in the brothel after she had left the hospital.

“You know that woman will never do anything for you, you know they really do not care about us. They are only interested in the money they get, in fact, she will tell you to come back home, just so she could sell you out again immediately she gets the chance to and probably pray your new parent falls sick so you will come back to her.” Tema had said, she said each words hurriedly like they were hot yams in her mouth. She was a fast talker, in the orphanage home, everybody avoided her, because she was in everybody’s business, talked about everybody, but never told anyone hers, no one knew that she was planning to leave home to a brothel. Now, she talked even faster, chewing gum and making all the noise she could make with it.

“Do you have to chew like that?” Judith asked, not out of curiosity but out of disgust.

“It's the business.” More 'kpa kpa' sounds. “so, what will you do now? Tema asked and blew the gum forming a small balloon which she put back in her mouth almost immediately as she saw the disgust on Judith’s face.

“I don’t know, that is why I am here.” Judith pushed the clothes to a corner of the bed so she could create space to sit.

“Getting an older person may not be possible but getting the money, can work, you must be ready for what I am about to tell you. She spat the gum out through the small and only window in the room.

Tema had told her that she could join her business, and in a few days time, she would make the money and save her mother who had saved her. If she wanted it faster, then, she could talk to the other girls who will give her a certain percentage form their daily pay as a loan and if that was too difficult for her seeing that she wanted to be in control of her sexual life, Tema had told her that she knew a place where they could sell babies for a lot of money. The only problem would be how to get a baby.

Judith had struggled to get home. The street was quiet, no babies, no men, just women. She had overheard a woman in the bus talk to someone over the phone, saying “so, you can’t make that sacrifice for me as your mother?” The other women shook their heads, one had muttered something that sounded like, ‘I had to get married to the oldest man in our community to save my mother.’ The other women had praised her courage and brevity.

Now, she was home swinging and rocking herself on the chair her mother loved, her mother had called the chair her thinking chair, saying that, that was were she sat when she decided to adopt a teenager.

The loud bang on the door brought her to her feet, it was day one to saving her mother, she had slept on the thinking chair, but was yet to make a decision. The bangs continued, the society is here, to either laugh, mock or shake their heads at her, she was yet to decide, she had to decide before they come in, she had to create her own bridge either with her conscience, her body and ten others or with babies. The bangs became louder, this time, the society called her name, she had to decide, she had to make up her mind now.