Full Circle

Standing on the empty stage Morgan wondered if it was really happening. Finally she had been given the nod of approval and having played the piano faultlessly the photographer had taken a publicity photo shot of her. She had given a gleeful smile and then remembered her publicity coach had advised her not to give a broad smile until her teeth had been cosmetically enhanced. She would need someone to coach her in etiquette and how to respond to publicity.

‘After all Morgan,’ her agent had told her, ‘you are not a pop artist; you are playing a concert for people with discerning tastes in music.’

Morgan looked down at her sandals with the straps cutting in on her toes. She conceded they were a bad buy, but she loved the colour at the time. Her mobile rang. It was Jessie Murdoch, her agent again.

‘Hi Jessie, what’s up?’ trying to preempt her and sound self-assured.

‘Nothing. Just need to know you’re okay. We have a big night tomorrow so get some rest.’

‘Sure Jessie, I’m on my way. I’m just getting a few things from the grocer.’ 

Another white lie to Jessie; Just some time to be by herself is all Morgan wants.

‘OK don’t leave it too late. It’s getting cold too.’

‘OK, going now see you tomorrow.’

Morgan put the phone in her pocket and walked out the theatre. Jessie had been right.  It was cold.

She walked quickly to the hotel apartment which was two blocks away. Normally she felt relaxed and confident. She was street savvy and knew how to take care of herself, but tonight she felt someone was watching her. It was not easy being thrust into the limelight and trying to forget the starvation and poverty of her early childhood. The day her mother left her and an older brother on the doorsteps of a church she was just four and her brother was nine. Somehow, somewhere everything had become a blur, not a forgetful event, but her mind wanted to say this didn’t happen.

The people who adopted Morgan had no children of their own. They kept her original name because they believed that was all she had.

Inside the apartment she turned on the light and warmed up some left overs. She always enjoyed things second time around. 

She went to the window and saw a man standing on the opposite side of the road wrapped up like he was in a blizzard. He looked like a tramp. A street guy she had seen a week ago. He looked familiar but Morgan dismissed it, instead finishing off the rest of her dinner. Morgan tried to get to sleep but her mind was racing. She visualised all the notes in sequence and imagined she played without error.

In the small hours Morgan’s eyelids became heavy and closed. Her dreams were nightmares. Ghosts fading in and out; then they drifted away fading in the distance father and farther away.

The phone rang. It was Jessie

‘It’s ten-thirty. I hope you had a good sleep. There’s someone to collect you at eleven-thirty so wear that nice outfit we bought. Got that? Eleven-thirty’

‘Yeah can’t we make it noon?’

Nope it’s got to be eleven-thirty. Come on this is your big break. Don’t blow it.’

 Morgan put the receiver down, dragged herself to the showered washed her hair and put on the outfit that ‘we’ had bought.

Morgan was beginning to notice a trend to the way Jessie spoke and how she treated Morgan. It seemed that Jessie was beginning to control everything that Morgan did. At least she didn’t allow her to change her name. That had been a stand up fight. Chaza and Elsie were not names that suited her. In fact she wasn’t sure Chaza was a name. All she had left was her name and they tried to take it away.

Her adoptive mum and dad were proud of her, but Morgan was not sure she was proud of herself. She started to question. Ever since she was a little girl she had been mesmerised by sound, rhythm and tone. She played a friends toy piano and the next thing her parents bought her a little piano. Soon she had progressed to a full size piano. Morgan passed all her exams by the age of twelve. There was never any thought given to any other career. She liked sports and was popular at school, but relaxed with music. Morgan was performing public concerts by the age of fifteen and had been on the road for three years since she turned sixteen. 

All the time her mum and dad watched, admired and wondered if she was truly happy. They knew she had had a rough beginning in life and deserved the best life had to give her, but deep down her mum believed that Morgan was lonely. She had started compiling photos of her childhood and made two copies. She had made enquiries about what may have happened to Morgan’s biological family. She would give the information to her when she felt the time was right. The problem was she had no idea when the right time would be.

The knock on the door was solid and unmistakably from someone in a hurry. It woke Morgan out of her daydreaming and back to reality. The chauffeur was courteous and took the shortest route to the restaurant where Morgan would meet Jessie and a reporter. She also had a sponsor to say thank you to and, as she arrived and saw Jessie she had a text reminder of an orthodontist appointment the following day.

She tried to smile without showing her teeth. She spoke as grown up as she could. She had a good vocabulary. Something her dad had instilled in her a long time ago with word games and crosswords. One new word every day and then she could practice music. It was always fun. And she was grateful for those times. Here she was thanking people who were strangers. It was beginning to dawn on Morgan that there were other people she had not thanked because they had always been there for her.

‘You’ve got five minutes to go Morgan.’

‘Will you just go and sit down in the audience and leave me to contemplate for a few minutes. I am allowed that much time. Please.’

 Jessie smiled and left. It was the first time she had just gone without actually saying anything or any argument eschewing.

As Morgan took the stage there was applause. She tried to smile without showing her teeth and took to the piano. She contemplated for a moment, went to the front of the stage and announced.

‘I would like to thank my mum and dad for all their support and love throughout the years. I love you both. I don’t think I have said that near enough.’

Then she sat back at the piano and let her fingers do the rest of the work.  Playing for two hours she gave her all to the composers and it was justly rewarded with a standing ovation.

There was the obligatory party and there was the photo shoot. And then Jessie was giving her all the answers to questions, talking over the top of her and guarding her from further press and ‘Watch that smile dear,’ as Jessie rabbited on in Morgan’s ear.

Travelling back to the hotel apartment Jessie wanted to give the itinerary a run over with Morgan.

‘Now next week we are going . . . ‘

No! Next week, in fact tomorrow Jessie I am going home to see my parents. I haven’t seen them for ages. This is torture. I want to see mum and dad.’

‘Now listen here dear you don’t want to throw everything away.’

‘Yes like a life of my own.’

‘I’ll send them out here for a few days if you like.’

‘No I don’t like,’ screamed Morgan. I want to see home. I want to sleep in my own bed and I want to just have time out. Don’t you get that?’

The door opened and the chauffeur who had driven to the hotel earlier in the day was the same one who opened the door for her. It seemed a long shift. He smiled at her.  He seemed familiar.

It was too far to drive and she had never got past her restricted licence anyway so it was good to be able to afford to fly. Morgan was met at the airport by her dad and whisked away to the quiet suburbs.

‘Thanks for the public thank you darling. You didn’t have to do that because you know we are so proud of you.’ Morgan smiled.  

‘You ever wondered about your biological family darling?’

‘Yeah I do and just lately quite a lot,’ Morgan was puzzled.

Well I know it’s not the ideal time, and your career is thriving. You have been on so many stages and television shows, we just want you to be happy. You know what I mean.’

‘Yes dad, I do. I have been lonely lately and I couldn’t figure out why that was. I have done so much but there seems to be something lacking.’

‘It’s called ‘knowing and accepting’ sweetie. We have to know and then we can accept. Your mum is looking forward to seeing you and a lot has happened in the two days that we didn’t have time to tell you about so we are so pleased to have you home. Just pray it doesn’t scare you.

‘Scare me. What could scare me?’

The car turned into their street and Morgan’s father parked the car on the kerb. Morgan was a little surprised. ‘The driveway is full. We had unexpected visitors last night. It’s not how we planned it but then life does strange things.’

 Tucked under one arm were Morgan’s suitcase and his other arm draped around her shoulders as they strolled along the driveway to the front door. Morgan was becoming anxious.

‘Who are these visitors Dad?’

‘Well we hardly know them, but see they turned up last night and we were all going to leave for a few days when we got your phone call. They asked if they could meet you. And well we didn’t know what to do.’

‘If this is something Jessie has organised, I’ll be so angry.’

‘No love it’s got nothing to do with Jessie or your music.’

There is a lot of talking and laughing and a little girl is bouncing on her mother’s knee. She hands the toddler back to her mum and hugs Morgan with all her heart.

‘Mum . . . What’s going on?’

‘Well darling . . .

‘Wait you are the guy who was standing outside my hotel the other night.’

‘Yeah I wanted to see you once before I said hello to your mum and dad.’

‘Creepy.’

‘Morgan! This young man is Rayner. Now this will be a shock to you, but I … um . . .’

The young man stood up offering his hand.

‘Morgan, yes you are right I was standing outside your hotel for a while. It was very cold so once I knew you were safe I went home to my partner and baby girl.’

‘But why?’

‘Morgan you wouldn’t have remembered me. You were too little but I remember us being left on the church doorsteps on a cold evening and how we found shelter until someone else saw us and took us to a home.’

‘You’re my brother,’ her voice had a faltering tone, as tears silently washed down her cheeks.

‘Yeah, I didn’t want to scare you. I’m really proud of you sis. You’re gifted.’

‘It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.  One town one night. Another town two nights;  next week another city.’

‘Like a butterfly

‘I’ll put a pot of tea on,’ said mum. Rayner’s partner Lindy went over to help, the toddler sitting on her hip sucking her thumb. It was as if the circle was complete.

Later that evening Morgan’s mum brought out the two albums of photos.